I was forced to dine with Edmund in the evening. My beautiful dusky pink dress was wasted on his pallid, disinterested expression. As a pudding of soft apple pie, a crumbling soft biscuits topping was served I couldn't help smiling to myself. "Pray tell me what is so amusing about a simple dessert?" Edmund asked, the spoon juddering in his hand. There was a vibrant vein of anger in his tone. I flushed in embarrassment, had it appeared I was mocking his frailty? "Oh, your Grace, it was a mistake of mine today. I took poor Jeremiah some treats from the kitchen as I mentioned at breakfast. Except I had not considered his age. The fresh, crunchy apples I brought were more appropriate for Amber. Almost nothing I gathered he could eat." He smirked and shook his head. "Ah my dear there is a lesson to be learnt there," stopping to slurp at his custard-coated spoon. His suit glittered with gold buttons and the navy jacket sung of expense and grandeur. His frame was not filling it with the sa
The fire is intense, much warmer than last night. Edmund must have realised that the one he ordered would not last the night. That is sweet of him. Yet the thought vanishes like snow on the wind as I see Fitz. I stood at the opposite side of the room today. He is immediately in both our eyelines. Stood tall and unsmiling, his strong, rounded jaw clenched the only emotion visible was in his green eyes. Those were fixed towards Edmund. “I don’t believe I need to repeat myself. Two loud knocks and I will enter for inspection.” Fitz merely nodded, "understood Your Grace," whilst I kept my gaze on the fire. Fitz wore the same white shirt, braces and breeches as this morning. Yet this man was so different to the joking, teasing chap. Every move seemed calculated and deliberate. Edmund took his leave and I kept my eyes on the fire until I heard the lock turn in the door. The clunk of the key in the door was paired with the thudding of my heart. Like the tightrope walker, a fantastical
Mercifully Edmunds kept his inspection of me is short. I lay completely still, my hands clamped together across my stomach. My eyes were fixed on the ceiling, the cornicing and ornate fixtures of the room burned into my memory. Lifting my nightgown up and peering between my legs I conceal a shudder."Bred. Good. I shall see you in the morning.""Yes Your Grace," I answered stiffly, the delirious loosening of my body and soul has been undone. Fitz declaring he should not have kissed me left me shaken. I wanted both of them removed as soon as possible.Fitz left with Edmund without saying another word leaving me endure another night of frustration. Hot tears threatened to spill down my cheeks but I angrily wiped them away. Neither Fitz or Edmund deserve my emotions. I have misunderstood Fitz entirely. Any tenderness I thought of as his true nature, I now saw as a mask. His mocking, teasing ways were his true nature. The apple on his tongue, so surprisingly delicious, confirmed that fa
I struggle to take in the full view as a firm hand grabs around my waist and drags me inside. There is no corset or bodice, i can feel each of his fingers against my thin robe. The door slams shut and I am placed against it, his hands then immediately removed as he backs away. “What the devil are you doing here!"His shirt had been unbuttoned from the top, almost entirely. His blonde, ashy chest hair and rippled torso were visible and my eyes drank him in. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, revealing muscular, thick forearms. The ones so strong they could control a horse like Figaro. It appeared my temporary lunacy had interrupted him retiring for the night by the way his braces hung loose by his hips. He quickly pulled them up, attempting to make himself presentable. Fitz’s wide, muscular body took up most of my view but the room had a leather chair, bookshelves, and a door leading to his sleeping quarters. It was basic, clean and more inviting than any room in Tarrick
As he lavished kisses on my neck a melting sensation overtook me. I had read about blood lust, soldiers losing control of themselves in the heat of battle. It cannot possibly be love but a force stronger than I could comprehend was driving me. Lust. I am a slave to lust, like the sermons and texts I read young girl constantly warned me of."We should stop," Fitz whispered into my neck. His words formed on my skin, his teeth scraping the soft edges of my collarbone as he continued to give my world colour. "I don't want to, Fitz, I want more," pulling at his hand, my fingers in his hair to try and keep his body close to mine.The stiffness in his breeches was now firmly pressed up around my back bone he let out his own deep sigh onto my skin."What do you need to know?" Still facing away from him, avoiding those mercurial green eyes made such conversation easier. "I want the truth. Why are you doing this? Do I make you feel anything or am I just losing my mind?"“That is a lot of quest
**Fitz POV**That was too damn close. It took everything I had not to keep her in my room until the end of time. How does she light up a room so easily? She doesn’t even have to try, just those blue eyes searing into me, and my heart is thundering.Pacing my small quarters after she fled, restless and regretful, I despise myself for raising my voice at her. A gentleman should never do that. I might be cleaning out horses right now, but I had the proper upbringing. I didn’t dare look when I confessed I was here for money. Of course it would change everything.For now at least, I can remember the cherry pink glow on her face as I pulled away from kissing her. The way she murmurs my name, seemingly oblivious to her own beauty, is devastating.Checking my fob I groan and rub my face. Three hours until dawn, then horses to attend to. Edmund, the malicious runt indicated he needed a wall rebuilding, as if that is part of earning my payment too. Muttered something intelligibly about “keepi
Money.It was all for money. Every few seconds from the moment I left, to greeting Marie early in the morning the moment he shattered my faith repeated itself. It is what made me request Marie lace my corset so vigorously this morning. To keep me from falling apart I need holding together via other means.The more I thought about it the angrier I became. However it does not remove the fact that Edmund will destroy my reputation if I do not produce an heir.I breakfasted with Edmund, my tiredness causing my usual quiet reserve to fail. As he crunched his toast, slurped his tea and ignored me I surveyed our opulent scene. How much money did Fitz need?.The silverware, porcelain and other delicacies in this dining room alone were worth hundreds of pounds. A doctor, such as Doctor Farrers with his private clients could expect two hundred pounds a year, a stablehand perhaps twenty. What was Fitz’s price for this deal?"Something fascinating about the fruit bowl today?" Edmund quipped, smi
I felt itchy, unclean and desperate to scream. I turned to face Doctor Farrers, fighting my constricted throat to form a protest. Suddenly a flurry of pebbles rattled sharply against the window. We both leapt up as Fitz struggled to control the two horses, purposely forcing a gap between myself and the hideous doctor.“Excuse me Doctor, I trust I can check what on earth is occurring outside?”“Of course Your Grace,” he stammered, hurriedly packing his items away as Fitz continued to stare into the room. His hands were gripping the reins tightly, his jaw clenched. Doctor Farrers scuttled about with his briefcase, “no problems that I can detect Your Grace, a clean bill of health.”With a curt nod I swept out of the room, my heeled shoes clipping along the stone-flagged hallway. I inhaled deep, calming lungfuls of air as I made a show of heading outside. Doctor Farrers could possibly watching to see how I handled the situation.“What is happening here!” I declared loudly as Fitz kept his