[Carnelia]
The dead, cold, glare of Primus’ eyes followed me on my flight back home. He survived, and I know I should be grateful that my mate still breathes, but I am having a hard time finding my gratitude.
I want to take him into my arms and fly him back with me. I want to do a lot of things that just aren’t possible.
As I approach the closed gate, I take my fourth form, becoming a dragon made of little more than light in the shape of my winged self. I’ve only been able to take this shape in recent weeks, even with an entire kingdom of others to learn from. Despite being a universal dragon who can take the form of any other dragon I encounter, there are still a few things I need to learn the long way around.
Ona is waiting for me when I materialize within the landing dock of our closed gate. Princess Ursa, who is officially our heir, is standing by her mother, learning from her as she once learned from her grandmother, how to rule the Celestial Kingdom. After the events of the previous war, we decided that it would be wise to have more than two people with access to opening and closing the Celestial gates and also the day-to-day running of our realm. The knowledge we preserve for future generations is too important to leave to chance.
Rolling my shoulders back, I take my tallest stance, stretching my spine and extending my horns until I am at my maximum height, and using a clear, calm voice, request that the attending guards and other workers exit the room. Everyone files out smoothly, giving their monarchs their needed time alone.
All except for one--Ursa. She is standing proudly next to her mother, her attempts at seeming serene marred by a slight immature haughtiness around her eyes and mouth. Seeing that look on her face reminds me so strongly of her uncle Primus that I almost moan in pain.
It has been a long day.
As much as I have grown to love my niece, her stubborn nature, a Majere family trait, is more than I can handle at this moment. After seeing the shell of a drake that was once my husband, it is taking all of my energy not to scream at her to leave. I look towards Ursa, and then back towards Ona, my eyes still, afraid to blink, afraid to feel lest I feel too much all at once.
“Ursa, can you go check on your cousins,” Ona smiles at her daughter, dismissing her kindly so that we can be alone. “Auntie Carnelia and I need a moment."
She gives a small, tight smile. Like most young people, she doesn’t like being left out of things. She is, after all, getting close to her majority and will soon be ready to seek out her mate. She isn’t a hatchling any longer.
But she is still a child. It will be hundreds of years before she is ever called to take this throne from her mother. And one of the first lessons of any good ruler is humility.
And also grace--especially when you are upset.
A few of the plants in the room wither and die as she passes, her powers flaring with her anger as she leaves the room in a swirl of fabric, the plasma dancing along the edges of her skin.
As soon as the doors slide closed behind her. I release all the tension I have been holding inside. I am finally safe to feel, and every emotion I have been holding back pushes down on me all at once. My shoulders slump, my eyes tear, and with one deep exhale I scream so loud that the walls rattle.
“Little Sister,” Ona pulls me into her arms, wrapping me in her warmth as she pets the hair between my horns. “Tell me about it. Tell me everything.”
Crying against her shoulder, I poured out the emotions of the day: Confronting Eleanora, her demands, and Primus. Dear gods, Primus.
“So he is alive,” Ona’s clawed hand clasps the bracelet around her arm, the one made of Jade that connects her to her surviving brother. “When the bracelet went cold I..”
“Me too,” I agree, not needing to hear the rest. Even though Eleanora claimed that she had Primus this whole time, when I had lost that feeling of connection, when my ring went cold, I assumed that he was gone, just as Ona had when her bracelet stopped transmitting. We just assumed he died in captivity and that the Luxandrian queen was lying.
“I’m not sure I would call what I saw today ‘alive,’” My lips start to quiver as I think of the hollow way he looked at me, lacking all recognition. He barely moved, and barely seemed to be aware of anything. “His eyes didn’t swirl, Ona, they didn’t glow. He didn’t recognize me. I told him about our babies and he didn’t even flinch. Not a single blink!”
My chest is moving up and down rapidly as I try to explain the horror of what I saw, my body and mind unable to find any equilibrium between what we saw and what is possible.
Primus would never leave his family to suffer like this.
“But he still breathes,” Ona’s eyes are bright with hope, glowing with red embers as she considers my expression. “Don’t be sad, Little Sister. I promised you we would get him back and that is exactly what we will do.” She pulls me in for a sideways hug, rubbing my arms, and warming me with her love and nurturing care.
“If it was just about Primus it would be hard enough, but she wants my children, Ona. It’s always been about my children,” I start to weep again, my body weak and my heart weaker. “If I didn’t know better, I’d blame her for their sickness. I wouldn’t put anything past her to make children suffer for her advantage..”
Ona nods in understanding. “She is so much like Segundus it’s uncanny. You’d think they were fated mates based on how well they balanced one another.”
Segundus was twisted and cruel. He enslaved an entire race of dragons just to power his cities. The world is a much safer place now that he doesn’t walk it.
We hold one another in silence as we think about the harm Segundus caused. The horrors we saw are things we cannot unsee even when we close our eyes. The faces of the dead left behind in those facilities follow me into my dreams.
“I have an idea, but it’s risky.” Ona takes a deep breath, shaking us free from the chill of our thoughts. “But whether we go this route will depend on how much you are willing to risk to get Primus back at your side.”
I would burn the world to have him back. But I keep that secret in my heart.
“What do you have in mind?” I say instead, my heart is racing as I consider the possibilities. I have a feeling that whatever Ona has in mind is daring, cunning, and possibly more complicated than necessary.
She looks out the window at the glowing planet below. The closed gates are the only thing keeping us from being attacked at any moment by Luxandra. They have weapons that can destroy us all, and ways to contain and enslave us. Our only advantage is our separation.
Which is why my body went completely still when she relayed the first part of her plan.
“We will also need to open the Northern Gate.”
“We haven’t opened the gate since the Starfell War,” I remind her. “And Luxandra is hardly safe enough for us to allow free passage, why would we…what would be the reason?”
“Well officially,” Ona smirks, “It would be to participate in the All Kingdom Faire in Luxandra starting at the beginning of the season. We have been formally invited, most likely because they need our technology to solve their problems, and they are hoping to gain access to it easily.”
“Unofficially,” Ona’s smile grows wider, “Our plan will be to make sure that enough of our people are on the ground to make a rescue attempt.”
“And you think the Luxandrians will fall for this? Won’t they think it is suspicious that after months of saying no we suddenly open our gates to attend a faire, one that we already officially declined?”
“Honestly,” Ona bites the end of one of her talons, “I think they’ll be so excited about the opportunity to sneak into our country and steal our secrets that they’ll ignore it if we do the same. Besides,” she shrugs, “they’ve wanted us to reopen our trade routes for some time now, we could say this is a trial run.”
“And the children? Do we need to…”
“We need to get a cure,” Ona agrees. “But we still have some time. Maybe we can…”
I feel an intense jolt of pain along my right ear, where eight small stone loops connect me to each of my children.
The pain is so intense my body folds in half.
“Carnelia!”
“It's the babies. Oh gods, they are in pain.”
We rush to the intensive care unit. My little hatchlings, all eight of them, are writhing in pain.
“What is happening,” I demand of the nearest healer, whose red-scaled face goes ashen at the sight of his angry queen. “What did you do?”
“Nothing, Your Grace,” one of the other healers replies calmly. “They all just started screaming all together. It isn’t unusual for clutchmates to be close, but if I didn’t know better, I’d swear they are feeling each other’s pain creating a loop of sorts, magnifying the effect.”
“But what set them off?” I yell.
“Calm yourself, My Queen,” the lead healer demands, his voice stern. “For the sake of your babies, you need to calm your voice and your movements. Your anxiety is only adding to their pain.”
I place a hand on my oldest daughter, Cosima, who is a universal dragon like myself. Humming, I pet her between her nubby little horns, rubbing my fingers down her scaled spine. Her breathing starts to calm with my touch, her screams slowly fading into a whimper.
Soon her siblings are quiet as well, the only sound in the room is their ragged breathing as they struggle between forms, neither dragonkin nor lizard.
Once they are all soundly sleeping and calm, I turn to the healers.
“How much time do they have, before,” I gulp. “Before it is too late? Last time you said it was weeks, maybe even months but now…”
“Days,” the Draven looks at his feet, afraid to meet my gaze. “I’m sorry Your Grace, but if your babies do not receive proper care soon, they may only have days to live.”
[Carnelia]I tried to stay strong and be regal and centered, but seeing my babies suffer made me hesitate to leave them even for a moment. What if I took a selfish moment to be somewhere else only to find they had taken a dark turn? Could I forgive myself if they stopped breathing while I was off attending to a personal need?What kind of mother am I to leave them like I did when they were suffering? I should have sent someone else to speak on my behalf.After seeing them struggle, I stayed there with them all night, refusing to leave. I also had all my food and other essentials brought here, setting up camp in a comfortable corner of the infirmary. I plan to be here for every moment they have left even if that means I do nothing but watch for the next week.This situation feels so impossible, I can't think of anything better to do.I place a hand on my two smallest babies, Nyx and Nox. They are both shadow dragons and hatched on the same day within minutes of one another, giving them
[Ona] The lights are dim and the air is sweet with the scents of our lovemaking. Everything is quiet and calm. Our children are off living their own lives, especially our daughter, Ursa, who enjoys the privilege of being the crown princess maybe a bit too much. Even Carnelia is finally resting. It took fighting 15 different celestial dragons, and learning their powers and their forms before she was finally exhausted enough to enter a sleep that isn’t haunted by nightmares of her mate alive and yet dead inside. I feel almost guilty, lying in Daax’s arms. But we have lived so much of our lives apart, that I cherish every moment of connection that we have. Who knows when the universe might drive us apart again? And tonight may be our last night for some time to come that we can be so free with one another--especially if my plan is going to work. After tonight, he will be hiding in plain sight as one of the royal guards. I gently brush his blond curls away from the jagged edge
[Carnelia] The reception chamber for the Northern Gate is cool, even with a dozen dragons standing on the platform. Thankfully, the babies are nestled in carriers that will keep them cozy while we travel. Carefully, I kiss the brow of each of my babies, giving them my love before handing each of them to a unique guard, one who will be serving as their personal attendant for our entire time in Luxandra. At Ona’s insistence, all of them are trained not only to be nursemaids but as skilled warriors. “Are you sure about this,” I ask Ona as her hand rests on the button that will begin the process of reopening this gate. “Are you sure this is the best way?” “Mother would make the same choice,” Ona looks at all of us intently as her hand rests on the button, “Of that I am certain.” The reopening process is complex, requiring several elements to be in place, including the two of us in the same location. Once the engineers ensure us that it is time, Ona places her hand on a small stone plat
[Carnelia] I hold my breath, forgetting for a moment how to breathe. What does this mean? How is it that the Queen is so newly pregnant? Why is she displaying my husband like a spoil of war? Ona reaches forward and squeezes my hand, communicating her love for me through her touch. She sees it too. “We don’t know anything, Carnelia. Don’t assume until we know for sure.” “Either Segundus is still alive or…” “Shhh…” she looks around, her eyes wide with fear. “I know.’ We don’t have an opportunity to consider the implications, both politically and personally. An armed escort proudly weaves itself through the crowd, creating space on either side of their contingent as they find their way to us. “By order of Queen Eleanora and Prince Primus,” their leader, stands before us, half his face covered in a golden helm, leaving only his jawline visible, which moves up and down with each word, giving his shadowed face the appearance of being eyeless. “You are to come before their presence imm
[Carnelia] The guards standing on the edge of the room move forward. The Queen raises a jeweled hand to give them pause. “Yes, Brother-in-law, you had something to say.” As if pushing through fog, his next words are slow, labored, as if his jaw were stuck together with clay. “She…mine…stay.” His breathing is labored. He does not move forward. But his eyes. For the first time in all of my visits, his eyes connect with mine. “Stay,” he says again. This time I know for certain. He’s talking to me. I nod. Okay, Primus. I'm here. I'm not leaving you. I try to send what love I can through my ring, hoping that he can still feel it, somewhere. He closes his eyes, his face tight with pain. He may look like the strong drake that I married, but he is not himself. Whatever they have done to him, he is fighting to be free. He is fighting to be mine again. Queen Eleanora looks at him with a gaze that is far too clever. “The prince has made a request. We shall treat his family as our fam
[Primus] It is happening again, and there is nothing I can do to stop them. As soon as my family is escorted from the room, the knights lining the walls move forward. I try to fight, but it is no use--the air dragons move with a precision and swiftness that is unrivaled, as if controlled by a single mind. With a twist of their leader's wrist, the air is stolen from my lungs, forcing me to gasp as my almost useless hands grasp my throat instinctively. As I fall to my knees, someone grabs me from behind and I feel the pinch of something entering my body between the scales of my back. “Be gentle with his body this time, Drakas,” Eleanora orders her guard as he hauls me by my elbows. “He needs to be presentable for tonight’s ball and we cannot have him showing up with bruises and look every inch the dashing prince. Make sure The Technician is made aware of this need.” My vision clouds as the drug takes effect. It takes three guards to lift me as my body loses the ability to move inde
[Carnelia] I am up to my waist in layers of silk and taffeta, exhausted, hungry, and heartsick. “Can you remind me why we need to endure this?” I ask Ona as a maid tears through my curls. Wincing, I try not to flinch as she abuses my scalp. I have never liked being forced into the courtly ideas of royal beauty, and yet here I am being trussed up to be presented at a ball I do not even want to attend. Except, maybe to see him. “Because we must follow her rules of propriety,” Ona grimaces as her corset is laced. Just as the maid is about to cinch it tighter, Ona stops her with an upraised hand. “But Mi’lady, you are expected to have a fashionably tight waist. The dress that the Queen sent over needs you to…” The scalding look Ona gives Eleanora’s human pet pins the poor girl in her place. With wide eyes the girl, barely more than a child, bends her body in half until only the top of her bald, tattooed head is visible, before falling to her knees in shame. “My apologies, Your
[Carnelia] Everything in my body clenches. I feel my nails elongating into talons as I gaze at the pair. “Breathe, Little Sister, Breathe.” I force myself to tear my eyes away from Primus and the Queen. Twisting my head around to face Ona, I see that her internal fire matches the strength of mine. She raises my hand to her chest and takes deep breaths until I do the same. “Don’t give in. She wants you to be angry. If you are angry you will make a mistake, and if you make a mistake, we will lose everything--the treaty, the cure, everything. If you attack her now it will mean another war only this time our gates are open and the royal family is on the surface.” She is right. Damn it, she is right. I retract my talons, taking on a more human appearance as is polite during a royal function. It is considered rude to appear too dragonish--it’s akin to showing up at a banquet with weapons. At the very least you might be considered a rude guest. At worst--treasonous. I am dazzled by