I’m not dumb, just different. Sitting in front of the mirror in my bathroom, that’s what I tell myself as I apply a new batch of pink dye to my hair. Is different good? Is it bad? I don’t know but I like the way Calum said it. I finish up soon and the dark roots of my hair are completely pink by the time I wash off the dye my hair. “Cathy. Calum. Lunch is ready,” Dani screams from downstairs. “Be down immediately.” I step out of my room and wait by the door for Calum to show up so we can go together. He doesn’t. If he had gone downstairs, I would have known or heard him, all thanks to the not-so-thin walls. He has to pass by my room since it’s closer to the staircase. I start towards Calum’s room. I’ll only tell him lunch is ready and leave. Easy to do. His door is slightly ajar. I slip in and stand still, trying to adjust my eyes to the darkness. The curtains are drawn, the lights are switched off. I know he’s in the room. Calum doesn’t go out on Saturdays. A phone vibrates
A comfortable silence reigns over us. I push the tray under the table and hand him his guitar.Calum laughs. “You’re not giving up on this.”“Nope. I really want to hear you play.” His face softens. He fingers a chord and stops. I try not to say anything but my mouth sometimes works faster than my brain. “What is it? I liked it.”“Oh, please. I didn’t do anything.” I make a zipping motion across my lips and toss the keys out the window. “Fine. I haven’t played since…”His lingering statement piques my curiosity. I forget everything about keeping quiet. “Since when?”“Since the band broke up. Don’t expect much.” When the music is in you, it doesn’t matter how long you stay away from it, you’ll feel it when you return to it. Calum leans forward, cradling the guitar in his hand as he readies himse
Today, I’m more covered as I bridge the distance to my sexy stepbrother’s room. Grey sweatshirt, and tracksuit. No chance in hell of yesterday happening again. Heart thumping harder than before, I stop in front of Calum’s room. He has not stepped out since lunch. I can’t help trying to convince myself that this is a horrible idea. But my fist meets his door twice. If I come in on his invitation, he’ll see I have good intentions. I knock again, then try the knob when there’s no response from inside. The door is unlocked and the room is empty. I take another tentative step inside. The glow from the tip of Calum’s blunt is what guides me to the balcony. He doesn’t get a chance to process my appearance. I snatch the blunt from his hand and stomp on it. His gaze flickers to mine.“You shouldn’t be smoking here. Or at all.” “I wasn’t smoking,” he answers. I rest my hands on my waist, my eyes flying up and down his body. “Yeah. Pigs can also fly.” Calum is also covered in a polo shirt
Calum starts singing and I’m transfixed again by his voice. I heard him sing yesterday but the emotions are new, touching me in all the places Mum’s voice used to touch me. I cross my legs on the chair, too stunned to do anything more. The singing slows to an end but his smile is still intact when he says to his camera, “Alright guys. That’s it for today.” Before he started singing, he made a small announcement and apology for his long, unexplained absence. I know it had to do with his band breaking up but that’s all I know. “See you next time.” He blows a kiss to the camera and my stomach knots with jealousy. I have to find his YuuTube channel ASAP. “Love you. Stay safe.” As Calum’s eyes come to rest on mine after ending the recording, I can’t help thinking what it would feel like to be loved by him in a proper way. Not as a brother or sister but as a man loves a woman, his lover. As if hearing my thoughts, his smile fades. The clapping from somewhere in the room tears his eyes
I’m preparing for school on Monday morning when someone knocks. My first thought is to check whoever is at the door till my eyes catch the new post on Girls Code open on my screen. I tilt the screen of my laptop so it won’t be visible to whoever is at the door when I open up. “Who’s that?” “Calum,” my stepbrother answers, followed by another knock. “Are you ready for school?” That’s weird. Amelia or Dad is usually my ride to school. I shuffle to the door and wrench it open. Calum’s lips part in a silent curse and I lower my gaze to my chest to see what he’s seeing. Oh. Blush rushes to my cheeks. My breasts are almost spilling out of my black lacy bra. The top is on the bed. Again, it’s not deliberate but I make no effort to cover up. Instead, I fold my arms under my boobs, pushing them up to catch more of his attention. Calum slides his hands into his pockets and my cheeks redden at the indecent thought that sneaks into my mind. I lean on the door, using that opportunity to size
The car is too quiet. The radio is off. I hate my dad’s incessant questions but I’ll give anything to have him in the car asking me stuff I don’t want to talk about than sit in this silence with my stepbrother. I reach for the radio and he cuts me a look that has me retracting my hand.My elbow juts out the window, my head pokes out and the morning air whips through my hair. The car slows as he is about to make a turn.“Do you have a YuuTube channel?” Calum asks at the traffic light. I’m surprised he’s talking to me after his ominous warning at the house. I shake my head. The light turns yellow. “Okay. I can help you set one up if you don’t mind. You can post some of your singing videos there.”“Okay. Thanks, bro.”One. Two. Three. The light turns green and we speed off. We sit in silence, not as awkward as it was earlier. I toy with the buttons of my shirt for a minute. &
Was Calum angry? Was he jealous? Does this affect our budding friendship? I don’t know. It feels like I cheated on him. I didn’t do anything wrong but it’s all I can think as I make my way to the chemistry class, my last class for today.Amelia waves me over to a seat at the back. We haven’t seen each other since lunch break. I’m not sure I want to talk to her. She must have sent Jackson to me and the idiot kissed me.Grudgingly, I plop into the seat she reserved for me. She retrieves her phone from her purse and slides it over my desk. I don’t want to see. I look to the door, my only means of escape. Mr Andy should be here soon but until then, I have to make small talk with her. It sucks to be me.“You two looked so cute,” Amelia says.I pick up the phone and my frown deepens to a sneer. “You took a picture of us? Really?” The three girls in the row before ours throw us a
CALUM“Cal, are you ready?” Alice asks again.“Yes.” Another uncertain glance at the door Cathy walked out of, angry and disappointed in me and a knife spears my inside. I might have fucked that one up with my reply to her. I rub a finger over my nose. “Miss Gates?” Alice perks up. If I hadn’t agreed to take her to the clinic, I would have said yes to Cathy’s request. I try not to feel bad. She can ask that Jackson of a guy to take her home. If he can kiss her, then he can drive her home too. “I will appreciate it if you call me Calum. Just Calum.”“And you will call me Alice?” she asks.Alice’s eyes say more than her lips do. And it is obvious she’s attracted to me. I grab my water bottle and briefcase. “Yes, Alice. Can we go?”“Sure, Calum.”Together, we exit my office and step into the chill air. It&rsq