c a t h e r i n e
"Where have you been yesterday? Why were you absent?" Lisa suspiciously questioned me the next morning, as if I had gone somewhere and did something secretive. Although that wasn’t entirely false.
She scooted all of her straight blonde hair to one shoulder, leaned on her locker, and watched me as I busied myself with mine.
"I.. just wasn't feeling well."
"You never skip classes even if you're already dying."
Lisa and I had been classmates since grade 11. We're close but she's friends with everyone so it's hard to tell my level of importance. I never considered her my best friend. I know she feels the same way about me. I’m famous and all but I never really maintained a huge number of friends or had
v e r n o n I know that Catherine worked in a club in downtown Daegu. That particular club was famous for selling prostitutes. I know she’s not one of them. She’s dressed differently, yes, but there are other jobs in that place. She may be a waitress. I must have been under the influence of coke but its high had worn out when I saw her. Everything was still clear in my memory. Her desperation and fear to leave that place. The horrified look on her face when she saw me. But why would she do that? Why would she work in a place like that? Why would she work in the first place? She’s rich, for goodness’ sake. All those questions haunted me but I never asked about them. I didn't say anything because I don't want her to fee
c a t h e r i n e I never liked parties. The blaring music lined with reverberating voices, the cheers of drunken states, and the clamor of fleshes craving for contact that would raise their high, they are ever so present in all chaotic manner. The laughs radiate through people's faces and vibrate through each other's ears but I wonder if whichever transcends happiness to their hearts. If in the absence of nicotine and liquor, would anything ever feel ecstatic. My introverted self could just never handle the type of social situation.I never liked parties. But Jackson did so I liked them anyway. "You know I can't be seen with you." I discussed as we were ab
c a t h e r i n e Vernon's amber eyes were deathly hallows--dimmed by the kitchen light and stricken with the varying neon beams of the house’s strobe lights. Immeasurable thoughts were reflected into their mystery that all I could ever worry is what he would say next. I was overpowered by the stings above the sheer linings of my skin, all implanted by the frosts of his glacial look. The rumbling music and the party around were suddenly a thousand miles distant. I didn’t know the meaning behind those seemingly aggravated eyes of his, like seeing me here annoyed him. That’s ironic because I should be the one hating him. He told me he wouldn’t come, yet here he is, bridging a very thin thread, playing mind games with Jackson. "You know her?" Jackson shifted his g
c a t h e r i n e It was a short ecstatic feeling when our lips met and mine melted against the softness of his. The stale taste of his cigarettes lingered in my tongue until my phone buzzed. Startled, I pulled myself back hastily. My fingers shuddered at the sight of Jackson calling. "I'm going back." I panted before sprinting back to the house party. Vernon ran after me but we parted ways inside. I struggled to find Jackson in the havoc of guests now partying themselves to the fullest. The phone call was of no use for all I could hear was his incomprehensible grunts. "Where are you?" His text message appeared. My nervousness elevated. I stumbled through the cro
v e r n o n Flashes of seconds before now filled my eyes. It drove my heart crazy when I remembered our lips smashing against each other. With every peck on Catherine's blood-stained mouth, embers of my soul ignited. Making out with random girls is not new to me, but this was different. This time, it felt too overwhelming, too addictive. It’s not just a temporary high and cravings of the flesh. It’s not something that I would want to be sober from. I was running out of breath while breathing in too much at the same time. Foreign feelings I have never once felt towards anyone introduced their familiarity in my body. As if telling me that this very feeling, it won't be over shortly--or ever. I had a feeling that the way my heart pounded when I held Catherine, it's going to pound even harder in time
c a t h e r i n e The next Monday morning was drawn with grey dusty skies and fog-enveloped roads. Loud rainfall played along with car honks, and water splashed on concrete roads. It was my favorite weather. Everything under the greyscale is calmingly gloomy. Ironically, the absence of life appeared to me more consoling. The sullen yet still fast-paced crowds drove past me as I deliberately headed for the train station, figuring it would be less crowded than the city buses. The train took minutes to arrive. Inside, there were a lot of empty seats given my earliness. I rubbed my palms together when they felt weary of the frozen air. Papa used to drop me off at school, but he had stopped for a few months now after I insisted that I could just ride the bus instead. That way, I could go on with my own schedule and not
c a t h e r i n e Vernon’s intensifying gaze held me still, its cruelness was almost competing with the gruesome hail outside the glassed walls. Both were cold. But the latter drove my heart hammering against my frail chest. His bold proclamation was making me flush profusely, I wasn’t able to come up with any sensible response. He was always so vocal about liking me but I never really cared. But now, with what he had just said, my stomach turned for his utter seriousness. I can’t believe he actually had the audacity to say to my face that he would have hooked up with me if I consent to it. “You know you don’t have to say things like that out loud..” “Why? It’s true--” “Okay, okay, I heard you,” I held my palm to his face
c a t h e r i n e We were utterly quiet in class. For everyone, it was a surprise to see Vernon back in the classroom. To me, it was rather tormenting. I couldn’t get myself to comprehend what the teacher was saying. Vernon’s dark façade on the corner of the classroom kept on stealing my attention. He was sitting beside the window. The gloomy skies before him heightened his apathetic air. Just like that. I couldn’t see anything else. It was just him, the rain, and how they perfectly sync. How both looked sad yet comforting. I never thought something so sullen could also feel like salvation. He was hail, and blizzard, and hurricane, and all things sad and scary. He was a personification of gloomy weather. He was a bad omen, it gives most people a shiver down their spine and drives them away-- to a safer path. But I like danger. I like sadness. I like the snowfall and the treacherous roads. I like all the metaphors he embodies. And so I brought the ink of my pen to my paper, and