I woke up because of the rays of the sun hit my eyes.
I gently stood up and sat on the edge of my bed, I took a deep breath and gently closed my eyes, I wore a fake smile on my face to cover the pains I am experiencing.
" You can do it Joash, " I said, cheering myself up.
I stood up and went to the bathroom to take a bath, I was in that position when a sudden flashback appeared.
" My name is Jordan, "
Fuck, I need to meet that guy again, I need to talk to him, I took a quick shower and hurriedly dressed my self, after fixing my self, I ran to the lobby and went to the house of Jordan.
" Hey, Kim, " I said and smiled
Kim, Jordan's sister stared at me, her eyes are swollen and red, she tried to smile but I can still see sadness through her eyes.
" Are you okay?" I asked
She took a deep breath before answering " Yes, " then she nodded.
" Why are you here?" She asked
We are still standing facing each other.
" I just need to see Jordan, I need to verify something" I replied
" I know," She said
"You know that-?" I stopped talking when she opened the gate and let me in
" He's inside his room, just go directly," She said after pointing the door of Jordan's room.
I don't know but my heart started beating wild, it feels like thousands of horses are running inside it, my breathing began to heavy.
I took a deep breath before knocking.
" Come inside, the door is open," He said
I slowly opened the door and saw him sitting in front of the window. I cleared my throat to get his attention.
He faced me and smile.
My eyes widened, He really looks like my baby.
I walked near him and touched his face, I saw how shocked he was but he stayed still, his eyes are locked on mine
" Di--Dilan, you look exactly like my boyfriend," I said, tears started crawling down my face.
" I miss you, " I said
He looks exactly just like Dilan, His pointed nose, long eyelashes, thick eyebrows, and pouty lips, his Adam's apple is exactly as Dilan's.
" I'm Jordan, I'm not your ex-boyfriend," He said
"Why, you looked like him? Why?" Tears are continuously falling down my eyes
" Because I--I am--" we stopped talking when a girl came inside.
" What are you doing!" She shouted
"Amanda? why are you here?" Jordan asked
" Is that why you are not answering my call? Because you are having an affair with a gay? when did this start? You know that this will ruin your image as a psychiatrist!" She angrily said I can feel how disappointed she is right now.
"No, you misunderstood it, " Jordan explained.
" I've been hearing so many things about you, how close you are to gays, I didn't believe it, not until today, You are both disgusting!" She shouted and ran out of the house.
Jordan followed her, I left alone inside his room, I roamed around and saw every picture frames he has, he's posing, his smiles, his body posture is like Dilan, He really is Dilan.
Is he Dilan's twin brother? But Dilan did not mention anything about this, He always tells me everything, he is the only son of his father and mother, he lives with his sister, sister Liz and that's all.
I'm getting confused and scared right now, I went out from his room and sat on the couch in the living room, I saw Kim staring at me, I can see the sadness on her gazes, I simply smiled.
I was sitting here in my room in front of my window when I saw Joash came and spoke with my sister, last night, after that incident, I felt bad to my sister, I know I promised that I won't be mad at her, but reality really hurts me.
"That--that is your twin brother," Sister Kim said
I dropped the album that I was holding, I felt scared.
"Wa--wait, what?" I asked
" Yes, you heard it right, Jordan you have a twin brother, he is Vinz, I still vividly remember everything that happens to us back then, we were bankrupt, our house was taken away by the banks since Mom and Dad can no longer pay it, they can no longer feed us until one day we saw a couple who are crying inside the Church asking God for help, for them to have a son, it was really a hard decision for us especially to mom, I remembered that time, we were about to go home when mom and dad went back inside the church carrying Vinz, they were there for almost hour, I fell asleep on the bench outside the church, the thing I remember when I woke up is that Vinz is no longer part of our family, we went home without him, mom continuously cried that time, her eyes are almost sticking out from her eyes sockets, Dad drowned himself with alcohol while I am there wondering what's happening, I went inside our room and saw you sleeping, Vinz is no longer on your side, at the age of 6 I thought that they gave Vinz as a gift to that poor couple but as I grew old and starting exploring the world I've learned that they sold my baby brother, it hurts me, it hurts me that I even hated Mom and Dad but then I'm very thankful because we survived, and as I see you grow I know Vinz grow as handsome as you, I'm sorry I was not able to tell it to you earlier, I'm scared, I'm really scared that this will happen, I'm sorry" She explained
" But, why? You should have told it to me way back then, now, now my twin brother is dead, how am I going to hug him, to love him and to see him, it's too late, he's gone!" I shouted and run inside my room.
"I'm sorry" The last word I heard from my sister.
I wiped the tears on my eyes, I already cried a lot last night, I came back from my senses when I heard someone knocked on my door.
" Come inside, the door is open, " I said
Josh walked inside, I saw how shocked he is while staring at me, he walked slowly and as he reached me, he touched my face, he started crying, we were on that position when Amanda came inside.
What a nice timing, I glared
I was explaining my side, explaining that this us just a coincidence and misunderstanding but Amanda did not listen, she runs out from my room, I followed her, I need to explain everything, this is bad, I need to fix this as soon as possible, I don't want Amanda to spread my secret, she is the only one who knows my dark side, this is also the reason why I can't break up with her, she holds the biggest secret of my life that no one should know.
I keep on running, following her when she rode her car, I tried dialling her number but she's not answering.
What am I going to do?
This is frustrating.
I went inside our house and saw Joash sitting on the couch while my sister is standing staring at him.
JoashI stood up from sitting when Jordan came home.He stared to his sister and stared back to me."I'll go home now," I said"No, stay here, wait for me, I'll just change my clothes and come with me to the cemetery where you buried the body of my twin brother." He said" Wait, what? Twin brother? Do you mean Di-Dilan? Dilan is your twin brother?" I asked while shaking my head.That's why they looked like, I'm still confused right now, Dilan did not mention anything about this."Yes, he is my long lost twin brother, it's a long story, just wait for me here," He said and walked straight to his room" Sis, go change your clothes, we need to visit and pay respect to our brother!" Jordan said in a scary tone of voice.I glanced to Kim who is smiling.They both went inside there rooms wh
Josh PovI can feel how awkward Jordan is right now, He can't concentrate on eating because Liz keeps on staring at him." Hey, eat your food first," I said as I pinched Liz's leg." Ahh, sorry" She apologised" Jordan, I just want to ask something, if it's fine with you," She said" Yes, as long as it's not about my love life, it's fine" Jordan answered and smiled." When did you know that you had a twin brother?" Liz asked" Actually, just last night," He said" Huh? Why?"" Last night, Joash almost drowned himself on the beach, I helped him, I saw how scared he was," He said while staring at meI can feel my sweat flow down from my cheek." Wait, what, you did what?!" Liz asked me" I was stupid that time, I wanted to end my life be--" I'm not yet
JoshWhy did he come back? I thought he already went home, I look stunned when he walked near us, handed me a handkerchief and when he gave me his phone number, Wait, what? If I'm sad or having some problem he will come and help me? Am I dreaming?After the thing happened earlier, I went back to our apartment, as I opened the door the smell of Dilan's scent is still there, I sat on the couch."Hey, you're back?" I heard a voice."I missed you so much, I requested for an under time" I answered and gave him a peck on the cheek."Let's eat then, " Dilan saidMy eyes started to water again, these are the happy moments we had.Every area of this house has a lot of important memories.I stood up and went to the kitchen to get water."Stop drinking those, that is bad for your health" I shouted."
Josh POVI remember every time I woke up this early, breakfast is already ready on our dining table, coffee is served hot, my clothes to wear is also prepared, but now, I need to do it alone.After taking a bath I immediately dressed and walked out of the house, I don't have the appetite to eat.I took a cab and told the driver to drive our office.Along the way, I opened my phone and saw Jordan's Facebook post.Life said " You're gonna be happy" but first I will make you strong."I smiled, seeing Jordan this happy makes my heart flutter, it feels like I am seeing Dilan on him, but the more I see Jordan the more I feel the pain of being left alone by my boyfriend, I guess this is really not a good thing seeing him, talking to him, I need to have space for us.As I arrived at the office, I saw how shocked everyone, how they stared
JoashThat was cool, Dj Dee is really cool, I want to see him soon, I will bring Joash to him, I can feel that he can help Joash to be motivated, he's encouraging words can uplift and motivate Joash."Good Morning, Love" I was shocked when I saw Amanda sitting on my bed, I just came out from the bathroom."What are you doing here?" I asked while walking past her to get clothes." I want to have breakfast" She pouted" The food is downstairs, you go eat there," I said as I pointed the door."No, I want you to be my breakfast" She winked."What the hell?" I whispered"Why! We are lovers and besides, we haven't done that for almost forever" She said while walking near me.I don't know but I really don't want to be with this girl."S--stop it, Amanda," I said as I pushed her head.
Joash"Are you free today?" I sent a text message to Jordan, I am not really waiting for his response since I know that he is still busy working.I was about to put my phone back to my pocket when it rang.I answered it." Joash? Where are you, yes I am free today" He said?I can feel how excited he is based on the tone of his voice."Yes, I want to ask for a favour," I said"What's that?" He asked"Can you help me, can you be my doctor for the meantime? I need a person who will help me rebuild myself" I saidHe cleared his throat before speaking " Yes, why not, I'll definitely help you with that" He saidJoash: Let's meet later on my condominiumJordan: Okay, just send me the addressI sent my address to him after ending the call.After a
JordanShit why does Amanda need to drive Joash home, she might kill me if she noticed that I run off from her just to meet Joash, well this is my first time to visit Joash in the first place. Besides no one will notice me because of my get-up attire I am wearing a black hoodie jacket, mask and thick glasses for me to hide my identity and not to be noticed by Amanda when they arrive.I hide on the Pole next to my car when I saw Amanda's car arriving, I saw how she tried kissing Joash inside but pretended like she was just removing the seatbelt, I know that trick because she used that to get meI saw how disgusted Joash as he went down the car, I can't help but chuckle, When
It's already 10 in the evening and I already finished preparing the dinner, I knocked on Joash's room but he is not answering maybe he is already sleeping.I patiently waited for almost 20 more minutes when he walked out from his room yawning, yes, he fell asleep.He sat next to me and started digging his foods, I just stared at him and noticed that his eyes are a little bit swollen, I guess he cried earlier before taking a nap.I started eating when I heard his sobs. I glanced and saw him crying while eating, he looks sad and happy.I was about to ask him when he immediately wiped his tears and stared back to me." This is my favourite food, Dilan used to cook this food, I'm sorry I can't help my self but cry, it's been a long time since I tasted this food," He saidI smiled and nodded.We continued eating, no one's talking, the only sounds I can hear is