No one is so brave that he is not disturbed by something unexpected - Julius Caesar
_____________
Tapping my foot to the quiet music, I compiled the research I’d supposedly made on Balric. I’d put it all together a year ago when Balric and I first played with the idea of bringing Ian here.
*There. Done.*
I twirled the flash drive between my fingers, before slipping it into my skirt pocket. I still wasn’t sure why I had let Mom bully me into dressing nice. It wasn’t that I minded dressing nice or professional, but I knew she only said it so I might catch the eye of my mate… or any single male, for that matter.
“God, save me from meddling women,” I breathed in prayer. Walking around my desk and sitting on the edge, I wondered who the praetor would bring with him. Ian was a given, but if he had a crapload of enforcers too that could be a problem.
As praetor, Noah had only the best of the best. I could go one on one or two on one, but if there were more than a handful… not so good.
*Don’t worry about a problem that isn’t yet a problem. Let’s first find out who he’s brought before worrying,* Balric told me.
*You’re right. Focus on the now.*
Suddenly I noticed a strange scent – a musky, earthy smell with a citrus undercurrent. It made my nose itch. Before I could figure out what the smell was someone knocked on my door, then Sam stuck his head inside my office. Sam was the other investigator - a hacker- and as close as a friend as I had, considering the circumstances.
“Showtime,” he said, opening the door wider for me to pass. Unlike Philip, I had plenty of room.
“Coming, and lay off the cologne, Sam. It’s nice, but a bit too much. I can hardly smell anything else,” I replied, figuring the smell had to be coming from him.
“What?” He asked as I stepped around him and into the lobby.
I started to repeat myself when the strange smell slammed into me like a linebacker. It wasn’t coming off of Sam. I took a step back, my vision dimmed then tunneled down to one unfamiliar man. Dark blonde hair cut, almost military short, in a dark suit that did nothing to hide his broad muscled build. He was intimidating, to say the least, but I wasn’t afraid of him. Just the opposite. I had the strangest urge to cuddle up to him, run my hand over his lightly stubbled jaw, and see if his narrow lips tasted as good as they looked.
His blue-green eyes found my darker ones. A shiver raced all the way down my spine and into my toes. Balric said something, but I couldn’t hear him over the pounding of my heart.
“Uh, just a sec,” I said, struggling to keep some semblance of control over myself. I held up one finger before rushing back into my office, nearly slamming the door as I did. With said door between me and the stranger, I felt a little like myself again.
*What the hell?* I didn’t know what that was, but I didn’t like it.
*Calm down. Now is not the time to panic.*
*Actually, I think this is the perfect time to panic. What happened? I felt like I was dying.*
Balric chuckled then said, *you were not dying, though that might have been preferable.*
*You better start explaining.* I wasn't in the mood for any jokes or evasiveness.
*I don't know for sure, but I think what you felt was the pull one feels when they find their mate.*
*That was impossible. You said I didn’t have a mate,* I thought back at him.
*No, what I said was it would be highly unlikely since we don’t match in gender. Honestly, I only said it because after your sister had found her mate you would only talk or think about boys, and mates. I had to get your focus back on track.*
I remembered that. It was then it finally clicked there would be no after this vigilante justice we were dishing out. There would be no mates or happy ever after, and I had made my peace with it. This can’t be happening. I can’t have a mate. With my eyes closed, I took a couple of deep breaths. As long as he wasn’t Ian…
*He isn’t Ian, is he?*
*No, he’s not Ian. This isn’t as bad as it seems. Your scent doesn't carry the markers. He won’t recognize you as his mate so only you feel the effects and that’s something we can deal with.*
*Can we? Because I don’t know if you noticed, but I wasn’t exactly functional a moment ago.*
*I can help with that. Just deep breaths and get out there. We’ve been in here too long. Don’t look him in the eyes, don’t get too close and it’s probably best if you don’t touch him either.*
*Gee, is that all?* I took another deep breath and steeled myself as I opened the door again. The scent slammed into me again and my knees went weak, but Balric did something and the feeling eased off. I cleared my throat and walked up to them. “Sorry for the delay. I wanted to double-check everything,” I said. This time, I had no trouble keeping my voice meek and submissive.
I did as Balric told me and kept my attention on Alpha Erik instead of the man in the suit. I held out the flash drive for the alpha. “This is everything I have on the Betrayer. The praetor’s people should understand it easily enough.” Dios, I sounded like a nervous fangirl.
“Is this her?” the stranger asked, his deep voice echoed through me a lot like Balric’s did, only his voice sent a hot flush through me right to my belly.
“It is. This is Desirée de Léon,” Alpha Erik said with what could be pride. “Desi, I want you to meet Praetor Noah.”
I sucked in a sharp breath and glanced at the stranger. Praetor Noah? Praetor Noah! Oh no… no, no, no. No… No… no way!
“Desi,” Alpha Erik said, catching my attention. When I looked over to him, he was giving me a curious look.
Realizing I hadn’t greeted the praetor, I cleared my throat. “Nice to meet you, Sir,” I said, feeling the bitter tang of the lie. Hopefully, the others weren’t able to detect it. “Everything is there on that flash drive, my complete research, and discoveries.”
“Ms. de Léon,” the praetor said and I couldn’t stop the irrational pleasure of not only the sound of my name from his lips but that he pronounced it correctly. “Despite what you may think I didn’t come here to be a messenger boy. Tell me exactly what it is you’ve found on Balric.”
“Oh,” I said, unable to keep the dread from my voice. How long could I be around him before I melted into a hormonal sludge pool? “Alright, this way.”
I hurried to the closest conference room and waved them inside. Once the alpha, the praetor, and the two people the praetor brought with him sat, Sam, closed the door. He gave me an amused look as he took a seat. He obviously picked up on my odd behavior. Great, I would never hear the end of it now.
With one more slow deep breath, I pretended this was nothing more than a typical debriefing. “About sixty to eighty years Balric, the Betrayer is reborn. Typically, he is an only child, or there is a significant age gap between him and his siblings. The families also are low in the pack hierarchy. Early on Balric cuts off ties with his mortal family, usually leaving them during his teens.”
“I hope this isn’t all you have, Girl,” one of the praetor’s people said when I paused. He leaned forward, making his slim frame appear even narrower as he did. “We already know this, and it’s irrelevant.”
“I’m sorry, I understood that we weren’t yet aware who the Betrayer is in this lifetime,” I said with more snark than I should have, but really that superior tone of his was just too much right now. “If you know who he is then, you're correct, nothing I can say will help you further.”
“Well said,” the praetor said. The corner of his mouth upturned ever so slightly. I think I saw a hint of humor in his eyes. My skin heated under his gaze, and I forced my eyes to the floor.
*How about we don't attract attention to ourselves, please,* Balric warned me.
That was easier said than done. *I know. I’m trying. Sorry.*
“Carl,” the praetor said. “Let us hear what Ms. de Léon has to say before judging her. Now please continue.”
With a nod, but keeping my eyes lowered, I continued. “If the Betrayer continues these patterns, we are looking for a solitary man. A man who came from a humble background yet has severed himself from it completely. I had been compiling a list of possible links between the victims with Philip when…” I made my voice crack when I mentioned the liaison and pretended to take a moment to collect myself.
“Oh please,” the man, Carl, said with obvious disgust. The praetor shot him a glare, no doubt a warning. Ha! I couldn’t help a little smirk.
It fell as soon as Praetor Noah’s gaze met mine again. The full weight of who he was not only as my mate but as the praetor settled over me. The feeling of being vulnerable and exposed swamped me. It was as if he could look past my masks and see the real me. My palms grew sweaty. My heart slammed into my chest. I couldn’t even breathe. A sharp sting burst behind my right eye.
Balric snapped, *Eyes to the floor!*
Realizing my mistake, I tore my eyes from him and back at my feet. *Shit! Thanks.* Focusing on the task at hand, I said, “I have discovered nothing that connects the victims. They’re varied in standing, skill, and influence, but I don’t think it’s random or otherwise, the body count would be much higher.”
“Speaking of Philip Gregory,” the praetor said. “Why do you think Balric killed him?”
Oddly, he didn’t sound upset that Philip was dead. Perhaps there was no love lost between the praetor and his liaison. Maybe the praetor knew what a slime ball he was. If he knew that though, why did he send him here? Remembering he asked me a question, I scrambled to come up with something. I needed an answer to satisfy him, yet not reveal too much. “My only working theory is that either he found something the Betrayer didn’t want him to find or the Betrayer wanted to draw you out so he could get to you.”
“He can’t be that stupid,” Carl scoffed. “It’s not possible he could ever hope to take on the praetor.”
“Thank you Carl, but that’s not true,” Praetor Noah said, surprising both of us. “Balric is a skilled warrior who has always used his head as much as his sword arm. Now, is there anything else you have to add Ms. De León?”
I shook my head. Please, leave now, I begged silently.
“Carl, take this and go over it,” the praetor said, handing Carl the flash drive.
“Yes, Sir.”
“And Ms. de Léon, thank you for your time,” Praetor Noah said and held out his hand for a handshake.
“No problem,” I said, giving him a tight smile, eyes still on the floor, and hid my hands behind my back. Like hell would I shake his hand! If his proximity affected me this much, I didn’t want to know what would happen if we touched.
Praetor Noah gave me a curious look before he lowered his hand and turned his attention to the alpha. I slipped out of the room and nearly ran to my office, closing the door. “Dios Mío,” I breathed and sunk into the old office chair.
*That could’ve gone better. It seems you didn't manage to stay off Praetor Noah’s radar,* Balric said.
*Well, what else could I have done? Should I have shaken his hand when just looking into his eyes makes me go catatonic?*
*Of course not, but the last thing we need is for him to think you’re insulting him.*
I leaned back in my chair and tried to calm my frayed nerves. It had started to work when Sam burst in with a flourish.
“Sacre bléu, what is it my eyes see,” he proclaimed with a horrible French accent. “Is my little Desirée suffering from a crush?” He pulled his long, lanky frame to sit down on the corner of my desk, wagging his eyebrows at me suggestively.
Fuck, had I been that transparent? “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Sam.”
He laughed, smirking down at me. “Uh-huh.” Sam began belting out the Elton John song from that old Disney movie about the lions.
“Please, stop,” I pleaded through my laughter, covering my ears with a grimace.
“If you want it to stop, then I suggest you answer our questions, Ms. de Léon,” Sam said this time with an equally bad Russian accent as he mimicked slapping his hand with a horsewhip.
“I’ll answer anything as long as you promise not to sing again.” I held my hands in mock surrender. “No, I do not have a crush on him. It’s just… I didn’t expect quite that much of a punch from him.”
I watched as his amusement visibly changed into sympathy. “That’s right. You’re not used to dealing with the big dogs,” he said as if he rubbed elbows with powerful alphas and dominant wolves constantly. “Of course, this means blackmail, you know. Be extra nice or I might slip today to your mom.”
A growl rolled out of my throat as I glared at him. “You tell my mother anything and I’ll tell my father that you groped me.”
“Hey now, that’s not fair… unless…” He wagged his eyebrows at me again.
I leaned forward with my own sly grin. “Samuel, darling, not in a million years.”
“Well damn it, I will not be killed if I didn’t at least get to enjoy the crime.”
“Then keep your mouth shut,” I warned him, standing. “Now, if you don’t mind I want to get some work done.” I waved my hand in a ‘shoo,’ motion.
Sam made a sarcastic snort and grinned at me. “Ugh, work. Fine!” He got up and walked out of my office with his easy, slow gait.
When he left, I sat back down and stared at the ceiling. My mind drifted to the praetor. My body’s reactions were instantaneous - sweaty palms, racing heart, and a flush of heat that pooled in my lower belly. “Damn it,” I whispered.
*A mate? How is this possible? Mating is a wolf thing. I’m human. Is the praetor’s wolf spirit female?*
*No, Noah’s wolf is not a woman,* Balric replied. *We’ve met in the past so I can tell you he is male.*
I sat up. *You were going to tell me this when? And if he’s male and you’re male, does this mean you’re gay? That could explain the whole mate thing.*
*No. My sexual preference means nothing. Noah is your mate, not mine.*
*How? I’m human.*
*Before everything, the praetor and I used to be friends, very good friends. I suspect since my human half is female in this lifetime our past friendship has transmuted.*
*So you two had a bromance, but now you’re not so much of a bro it’s just a romance?* I couldn’t help snickering a little.
You’re really not as funny as you think you are.
Yes, I am. You’re just jealous of my sense of humor. Is there anything else you need to tell me? No secrets, remember.
He was silent for a moment before saying, Of course, I remember.
A man cannot be too careful in his choice of enemies. I have not got one who is a fool. They are all men of some intellectual power, and consequently, they all appreciate me. - Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray_______________I stepped out of the shower slowly. My muscles still ached from my three-hour weapon training. Now that Ian was here, I had to step up my game. He wouldn’t find an easy target in me. Darth Vader’s iconic theme sliced through the silence of my house as I dressed. Mom. What did she want now? I rejected the call then scowled when she just called back. With a sigh, I picked up the phone. “You rang.”“Let me guess, this is the part where you tell me that you forgot?” The sounds of people in the background made it a little difficult to hear her.“Um,” I said, drawing out the sound. I really did forget this time.“The dinner, Desirée. The dinner at the alpha’s house to welcome Praetor Noah to our territory. The dinner you were supposed to attend nearly twenty minu
Chaos of thought and passion, all confused; Still by himself abused or disabused - Alexander Pope, An Essay on Man_______________Drying off my sweat covered face, the smell of lavender tickling my nose, I looked at the dry erase board. In the top left corner, I had Ian’s personnel file. Next to it were a couple of others I thought could be Caius. He was once a commander of armies and I started second-guessing my idea of him being a bootlicker. He was probably among the enforcers. If the praetor’s chief enforcer wasn’t a woman that’s where I would’ve looked first.*Caius, shouldn’t be our priority. Not when we have Ian so close. I don’t care if Caius gets away in this lifetime as long as we get Ian.*I frowned. *Really? But he's the one that agreed and let Ian kill your son?**Yes, his brother was dying. Ian was the one who had no personal investment but put forth the idea. He’s the more dangerous of the two.*“Hm, all right, Jefe. So forget Caius,” I said and tapped my finger on the
It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone. - Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy_______________The cold water was a shock to my heated face and I debated on simply sticking my head under the faucet. At least they’ll never think to look in my direction as the Betrayer. I scowled at my reflection. *Bal, seriously, how is this possible? For the love of God, I’m human. I’m not even supposed to have a mate, much less two.**After the Great War, it was said that the praetor’s wolf was sundered by the demon spawn - Deabru, and placed into two different bodies, thus two twin brothers with the same wolf. I had thought it was talk. Soldiers bragging, and all that, but if it was true, if they shared just one wolf then it’s possible you can connect with both of them.*I grabbed a hand towel, drying my face, still scowling. *Except for the part that I’m human a
I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun. - Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice_______________My head felt heavy and fuzzy as I sat up on the bed. Feathers of remembered pain danced down my limbs. Balric was still silent. I suspected he might be so for some time. He didn’t deal with the nightmares any better than I did. Agron, the proud warrior who didn’t always think before he ran to save the princess. My heart ached with loss as if he was mine to lose. I ran a hand over my face and got up to take a shower, hoping it’d help wake me up.When I got out, I noticed I missed several calls and had almost as many texts from Carl. I rolled my eyes as I scanned through them. He sounded like a jealous boyfriend, demanding to know where I was. He even sank so low as to threaten with ‘repercussions’ if I wasn’t there A.S.A.P. Swallowing the urge to tell him to stick his threats where the sun doesn’t shine, I sent him a text telling him I’d be on my way and headed out the door.As soon as
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive - Elbert Hubbard_______________I stepped into the office, glancing around. “Is Carl here?” I asked Sam. I’d been avoiding the praetor’s tracker as much as possible, working from home, and sending Sam the updates I had prepared ahead of time so I could work on figuring out which room of the manor Ian was staying in.“No,” Sam said.“Good.” I blew out a breath. “I swear I’ve never met a person more condescending in my life.” I sat on the corner of his desk, picking up the tacky snow globe he’d picked up from his trip to Alaska five years ago. As if we weren’t far enough north here that he had to even go farther. “He’s gotten on my nerves so much I’ve actually started to consider your offer to get rid of him for a lap dance.”Sam gave me a tilted grin but whatever he was going to say was cut off when someone else asked, “That open for anyone?”I scrambled to catch the snow globe, almost dropping it. Daniel was leaning ag
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing - Edmund Burke_______________I sipped the hot cocoa as I looked at the plans of the Willows Manor. It had taken me five hours to find them. They were in a long lost part of the remaining Willow Creek’s website files from when they renovated a good portion of the manor a few years ago. Both Balric and I agreed that breaking in would be better than questioning the caretakers about who was in what room. If Ian heard I was asking questions there was a good chance he’d get suspicious rather than think I had a personal interest in him. He didn’t seem like the type that is easily tricked like Philip was.Tomorrow would be the full moon and everyone would have to shift, everyone but me that is. It was the perfect time to break in. Now if only I could deal with the problem of Daniel just as easily. This morning I’d gotten a call from Tina demanding to know why I hadn’t told her that Daniel and I were an item. It ha
The future is uncertain but the end is always near. - Jim Morrison_______________I woke up, reenacting one of the iconic scenes from the movie Exorcist as I sat up in bed and threw up all over the hardwood flooring of my bedroom. I doubled up as my stomach cramped. I used my fist to massage and relax the muscles. I panted, eyes watering at the acidic stench of my own sick. “Three injections, two of which are experimental, back to back is a very, very bad idea.” My voice was rough as a habitual chain smoker.*Just take it slow,* Balric told me, worry evident.“I’m fine. Just one hell of a crash.” I lowered my feet to the floor. I stepped around the mess and into the bathroom to clean the bitter, sour taste in my mouth. When I finished I called Sam. “Hey Sam, look I am really feeling bad. I’m no use to anyone like this. I’m going to need to take a sick day.”“Yeah, sure, leave me with the psycho. Though, you do sound pretty rough. You okay?”“I will be after some bed rest. Talk to you
To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved. - George MacDonald_______________Pain flared hot and bright as I shifted into my wolf form. The pain dulled and I was pulled into a warm darkness. This was it. Everything that I was now would be gone. Balric’s soul was now merging with mine - the final process of making a werewolf complete. It was a different kind of death than the one by Ian’s knife, but still, it was my death.*You’re not dying,* Balric told me as he ran into the Pelican River, letting the water hide his scent trail. *At least not the way you are thinking. We’re still hurt. The shift wasn’t enough to heal all of the damage.* Balric followed the river until suddenly he headed east… towards the office. Once he reached the back, Balric shifted back into a human, back into me. I was still me! How? I cried out in pain, my hand covering the still bleeding wound in my stomach.*We don’t have much time, Desi. You need to move.**Right, answers later. If we lived.* I g