Four

Sebastian's life a few days ago has been normal and as happy as it can get. He had just celebrated Hope's birthday with his wife and a cake. Their daughter had laughed and played with her father almost all night till she was too tired to even giggle. Every happy moment comes to an abrupt stop. Sebastian knows that. He has learnt to accept it and although the weight sometimes weighs on him, he knows the world is a shitty place with a lot of shitty people. 

Now, Sebastian is seated in the sitting room of a two-bedroom flat. The television has today's news on it and while the woman goes on and on, skipping scenes that not only features the Browns but also himself, he is lost in the oblivion of thoughts. His eyes are fixed on the woman and his ears are open enough to hear every word she speaks but just as the vision in front of him is fuzzy and unworthy of his attention, his ears automatically lock the voice out. Why the Browns? Why return her after so many years? Could she have possibly escaped? Escaped? 

Even as the thoughts chorus inside of him and the most logical being that Laurel had escaped her captors and somehow managed back home. Walked home?

He considers the thoughts and for a moment the most logical option doesn't seem logical any more. He knows he will find out when he gets the chance to meet her again. He is not sure why, why he had been released of the case but somehow he still finds himself drawn to the mystery of the disappearance and now appearance.  He recognizes the words the doctor had said. The injuries are fresh. They don't mean anything except the men who kidnapped her must have tried to torture her. That was it. That was what caused survival instincts to kick in and she managed the escape. 

"Are you thinking about the case again?" Maria Taylor questions as she approaches her husband who is obviously taken unaware of her entrance. 

"I didn't know you were still awake," he shrugs. The sleep finally catches up with him. 

"I wasn't. I didn't see you in bed." Sebastian moves a little, creating enough space for her to sit beside him. "Talked to the girl?" 

Sebastian shakes his head. "She was resting when I got there but I had a quick chat with the father. Nothing helps."

"I am sure you will get a hang of it." Maria smiles as she caresses her husband's hand. Her gaze is caring and soft. Sebastian turns to face his wife. He smiles back but they never reach his eyes. Maria knows there's more. She had known him since they were still filled with much youth energy, then their first child and even when they lost it. She knows him more than he knows himself. She rubs his hand slowly. She is waiting and even though Sebastian knows that, he finds it difficult to say the next words.

"Will there be an investigation?" It is an amateur's question; Sebastian cannot help but laugh. 

"Of course there will be an investigation. The world is curious." he mocks playfully.

"I am not." There's tension in the room as the couple stare into each others eyes.

"They are good people and the little girl sure did not deserve what she had but neither does my husband." she pauses to take a breath while observing Sebastian's reaction throughout. He is patient and waits for her to finish but when she doesn't, he turns to the television and murmurs, "I need to do this."

"No, you don't. You are not responsible for every eight years old." she can feel her voice trail off as she says the word. It is a dead territory. They don't want to go there. They have locked that part of their life and decided to move on, letting all that had transpired within that period of time not invade their present life.

"I just..."

"I am not doing it because of—" he battles with his next words. They seem to have a stuck somewhere in his throat that as much as he tries to say them, the words never come out. "I am not doing it because of that," he resolves. 

"Sarah! She has a name, Sebastian. I don't care what your therapist said or what you think is easier for you to say but her name is Sarah. You are not to reduce our daughter to a thing or some reason to seek futile redemption." The words hurt more than Sebastian anticipates. 

It's been four years since Sarah got hit by a car. Four years since Sebastian held his daughter, dead without a single pulse. He will like to tell himself that he was the one who saw her first. He was the one who held her when life was taken away from her. He had even begged God to return her to life, promising heaven, earth and its richest but still nothing. He resulted to cursing, then begging. Nothing still. 

The vision of that very day still haunts him and the last therapy as he knew would not work, didn't. He closes his eyes again. He can see Sarah in front of him, blood dripping down her lips and his uniform stained in dirt from the ground. 

In his previous nightmares, she will call out for him, ask him to help. Sometimes he will do something right. He will have gone to pick her up early but he wakes up to a pull of his own sweat. 

Maria has gone to bed, Sebastian is still sitting. He stands and strides to the kitchen. His hand caresses his hair as he begins to prepare himself a coffee. He does not know what the time is, but he still has some files to arrange. If he is given the case again, he will still need to go through them. Either way, he needs to work. 

Just as he picks the mug, fill it with the liquid and makes his way to his study, he hears the phone chirms. He changes his direction, walks towards the phone. 

"Chief." he greets.

"You promise to get us results on the Browns case?"

He presses his lips together. His fight with Maria makes him second guess his actions. Maybe he is evading. Maybe he is tired of feeling responsible for the death of his daughter and only justice for that of the Browns can bring him the redemption he seeks. 

"Yes. Yes, I will."

"And your wife? She's cool with you going back to work?" Sebastian watches as the door creaks open and his daughter standing in front of him. 

"Yes." he presses his lips together. Maria walks out behind her daughter and shakes her head sympathetically.