It is hard.
Really hard.
"You promised," he whispers. He lets go of me to run his hands through his hair. "You promised me, Elna. Your beginning, middle and end." Jumping to his feet, he folds his hands behind his head and murmurs, "You promised. You can't leave me. Baby, please."Unable to look him in the eyes, I bury my face into the pillow and continue shaking my head. I know the answer to his question now, I am so certain of it. Do I still want him? Yes, I will always want him, more than I have ever wanted anyone but I can't have him.Murder is murder and he killed his brother.And it hurts.It hurts every fibre of my being. I love him so much it hurts to think of a future without him. I don't think I can stop loving him but when I look at him, all I see is a killer. If I cannot look past his sins then I shouldn't be in his life. It will be our secret, it's not in my place to tell other people and I am fine with that. I wi
"You will be fine, El," Pa starts. "After all, your ma and I never married out of love, but look at us now, so in love," he finishes with his brown eyes taking on a dreamy look.He takes my left hand in his, squeezes it as a way to reassure me but I am far from reassured. A foreign emotion claws its way to my throat and I make a sound betwee
The wedding is a small one, held in the backyard of my new home with my handsome husband. He is white, British to be exact. Pa must have left out those part or maybe if I had gone through the file like Pa asked me to do, I would have known.
I wake up to light caresses on my face and a hand squeezing my ass. I moan but keep my eyes shut, afraid that if I open it, he might stop. He runs the edge of his palm between my buttcrack, creating friction that has me raising my hips to get access to more of his touches. His fingers pinch my clit before dipping into my wetness. My eyes fly open and I forget all about keeping quiet.
"You are beautiful. You are strong. You are awesome. You are tough, you are not the student body president for nothing," I say the last bit in a low tone and laugh.I should be proud of myself and ignore my husband's treatment of me. I am tough, the first female student body president my school has had in the last thirty years, it's a big fe
I don't recall how long I stand there after Brandon leaves but it's long enough for my legs to ache and my knees to feel like jelly. I crumble to the bed and in annoyance, put my hair in one big, messy bun and unbutton the first three buttons of my gown.To hell with Brandon and my attraction to him. I am so over him. My body seems to disagr
When my eyelids flutter open, a head full of blond curls is fussing over me. I blink twice and my vision clears. I see now that it is the bimbo who was touching Brandon, I shriek and push her off me. How dare her? She can touch, even have Brandon but not me.A small yelp escapes the bimbo's
A yawn escapes me, I blink to clear the rest of the sleep in my eyes with the back of my hand going over my mouth to prevent another yawn from slipping out. I swipe at the errant strand of hair over my face, putting my messy curls into a bun with a few tendrils falling out as I move into a sitting position to observe my environs. This is a new place.