Chapter 1 - Desert of the Heart

“Have you ever been in love, Attorney?” CEO Jang Hanmi, a VIP client and owner of the largest fast-food franchise in South Korea, looked into my eye with contempt. He's the notorious Casanova in all of Seoul, who has gotten away from his promiscuity because of his affluence.

The kind of man I hated the most. But I don't have a choice but to deal with him. For he happened to be a VVIP client worth millions of dollars in profit for our firm.

Most of his cases were petty fights with the 'girl of the month.' So resolving has been easy. But this time, it's different. It’s a crime of passion.

A case too personal that the CEO personally showed up in their office after years of working with the firm.

CEO Hanmi looked at me with queer eyes and insisted that loving someone was never a crime, no matter the result. 

“Have you loved someone so deep that you lost your mind? All of a sudden you have the power to do anything and everything in the name of love? If you have, then you’ll understand me,” he continued.

I stared at him. 

He was a mess with blood-shot eyes, shaggy beard, disheveled hair hiding behind an Ermenegildo Zegna Bespoke tailored suit. Nowhere close to the classy heartthrob Casanova he was known for.  

His question hit me to my core. In my 8 years as a lawyer, no one dares to challenge my competency at the expense of personal status. 

Yet, here I am sitting with these imposing figures, CEO of K & P law firm Il Wook Song and CEO Hanmi. 

Outside, the weather was freezing. Inside, the heat was at full blast. Not from the heater in the room, but the raging emotions building up between CEO Jang and I. Cold sweat building up on my forehead.

Clad in a Giorgio Armani black suit, crisp white dress shirt, and red necktie, I tried to dress up to the nines to keep up with Mr. Casanova. But I guess I’m nowhere close.  

He was a nuisance!

I have always been living in the present without bothering about the past. Yet at thirty-four, I wondered if people in my age range face the same unrest state, questioning what has been and scared of what’s coming.  

“Are you even listening to what I’m saying?” CEO Jang roared like a lion.

“I am certain he is,” President Il Wook replied with a matter-of-fact tone. He winked at me, furrowing his eyebrows. 

With the way he stared, I already knew what he was up to. 

Turning to CEO Jang, he proceeded, “Not to worry, CEO Jang, we’ll figure this out for you.” 

“I have complete trust in Atty. Suho Lee here,” reaching out, tapping my knees, “you just have the finest lawyer in the city.”    

“Of course,” I responded, forcing a smile. “We got this. We’ll call you once we have resolved everything.”     

The air in the room was dense. Loosening my tie-down, I struggled to grasp for some air. 

The two noblemen were engrossed in their conversation and found it the best time to slip away from the intense deliberation. 

I walked towards my office where Yuna Kim, my secretary for almost half a decade, greeted me. 

She peered at me behind her spectacles, analyzing my temperament.  

The three-hour grueling conversation drained all the blood from every nerve in my body like a vampire sucking every ounce of me. 

Inside my office, I drew down the shutters and slipped into the fancy wooden office chair, offering a momentary refuge. It was a sight not unusual for the rest of my colleagues.

My colleagues know what a closed door means. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK.    

Behind the closed door was a dragon. The sleeping dragon often turns out to be more precarious than a roaring lion in his cavern. Only K & P CEO Il Wook can permeate. 

I was the untouchable dragon lurking in the corner ready to pounce at any foe, which was the reason the CEO, no less, entrusted me with all the controversial and high-profile trials in the company. 

The only catch was people had a hard time working with me because of my unorthodox practices. As bizarre as my tactics are, they win cases every single time. 

I was a force to reckon with. Nothing can lure me down. 

That’s what people assume.  

My personal life? It has been a roller coaster ride with twists and turns that even go under the water. I’ve always lived a life with diversity with no boring moments. 

“Live and let live” is what I live by. 

I lived for the moment and seized every moment that came my way. 

All except one. 

An unfinished business and the only failure in my life. The weakness only a handful knew and vowed with their lives, not to mention the name ever again. 

In reality, I am a little of both. 

For the longest time, I’ve always been looking for THE ONE, delving into every chance with every charming woman I meet. 

But none of them measured up to her. She was a ghost that lingered every time, haunting me even in my dreams.

I wondered what my reaction would be if I saw her for the first time after 8 years of no-contact. 

Would I still feel the same way? 

An open case I realized I had failed a long time ago. 

As much as I hate to accept it, she primarily influenced my life’s decisions. There’s no reason to complain cause given a chance, I would not have it any other way.  

Time has been my greatest nemesis with love. 

To be honest, I don’t have a grasp of time because I don’t work with timetables, always leaning to spontaneous moments. 

Sadly, the time has thrown rocks to my direction, blocking the chance to complete the life I dreamed of. 

I tried to endure everything. Only to discover two years ago that I was racing against time. 

Outside, the world was different. My worries don’t even matter. 

But for me, that’s everything.  

Misty rain cascaded down at the start of fall, a rare sight. Autumn rain always came with a surprise, that’s what she always says. 

Everywhere I look, a white mist engulfed the city as if some mystery is about to unfold.  

A gentle tap on the wooden door disturbed my thoughts. “Come in.”  

Yuna entered the office in her black blazer and pencil skirt suit, exuding grace and grit. She knew precisely what I needed without even asking. A trait that’s imperative to put up with my weird antics. 

She was holding a box of face masks she bought each spring and fall season. 

After my military enlistment, I quickly developed allergic rhinitis during spring and fall. Things have never been the same since then.  

Yuna placed the carton and cappuccino on the massive maple wood desk and swiftly turned away without a sound. 

I sat back in silence, turned on the moon lamp next to me, inhaled the smell of lavender from the diffuser, my sister, Naeun bought.

I reveled in my surroundings, listening attentively to the music Yuna was playing from her station. 

Closing my eyes, I chimed into the harmony of the ticking of the clock and the tapping on the keyboard — all making me lethargic.

For a dragon-like me, having those quick escapades keeps me grounded and invigorated.

But am I doomed to live a lonely life? I have everything I wanted but not what I needed. Something was missing   

Ring. The phone rang, invading my reverie. I reach out to reject the call but a gnawing voice hissed in my ear urging me to answer the phone.  

“Hello,” I answered in a low, intimidating tone. It was more than what I meant.    

“Hello,” a woman’s voice reverberates through the other end of the line. Her voice was utterly familiar, it gave me chills.

In an instant, a wind zapped me through a deep tunnel, the speed of lightning. 

I leaned forward, unconsciously gripping the wooden arm of my chair, my knuckles turning crimson. 

I banished to a place where black clouds appeared on the horizon and fog blurs everything in sight. My mind whirling as I bite my lips.  

“Suho,” her sweet voice echoing through the dense mist. “Are you still there?” she asked.    

“Hana,” pausing in between, breathing after each word, “Hana Kim? “  

“Yes! It’s me,” she replied. 

Slowly the heavy cloud vanished, and a shadow walked towards me in the stillness of the day.

I bit my tongue, struggling to find the right words to say. 

What can you say to someone you have waited for so long and catch you at the most unsuitable time? Angry to reply, but anxious to lose her?     

Because here I am chatting with the person loving her so much that I despised her. But just one hello is all it takes to melt all those pains away. 

And after eight years, her voice fills up the desert in my heart. 

But then, a gnawing thought was rumbling in my ear, Is she here to stay or was just passing by?