After leaving the training grounds Luna and I walked around the pack lands with her showing me around. “That is the orphanage where all the pups that lost their parents stay. We have she wolves who volunteered to stay there and look after them. Most of them are those who lost their mates, they say looking after the pups gives them a purpose.”

The sadness is visible in Luna’s eyes am sure she’s also thinking about joining those she wolves just to pass time and be able to live through each day. “Luna I have been meaning to ask, is Collin always like this?” I don’t know him well but I sure as hell know that this is not how its supposed to be with your mate but Collin is…I don’t want to say heartless, cold is more of the right word to describe the way he is towards…well everyone!

“Oh my dear Mercy, this Collin I don’t know either because my Collin was sweet, caring and had a lot of love to give. Everyone loved him, he and Carla used to be the pride of the pack but now, I don’t even know how the pack feels about having an alpha like him” if he was like that then what happened to him? Because this Collin is not even close to being sweet and caring.

This one is cold and condescending! “Then what happened to him?” I repeat my question because I didn’t get an answer yet, I waited so long for my mate and when I find him his anything but loving. ‘Carl loves us Mercy please don’t give up on mate’ says Mercia with a sad tone. ‘I will never give up on him Mercia don’t worry. I just want to know what is wrong with him so that I can know how to act around him.’ I say to her.

“When Carla died Collin was broken, he was never the same after that incident, he locked himself in his room for months without eating or showing face.” Luna cuts my conversation with Mercia, wait who’s Carla! Was she his girlfriend maybe? I felt a pang in my heart when that though crossed my mind. If she was his girlfriend then he must have really loved her to act that way.

Maybe this is why he doesn’t want to let me in, Goddess why does it hurt so much? “Collin and Carla grew up together, they did everything together, where Carla was you would also find Collin there too. They were each other’s best friends and were very naughty too. They gave John and I a lot of grey hair. They were a pair of demons sent to torture us, I used to say to John. But he always told me that they will grow up to be quite responsible but I didn’t believe it at the time.”

Wow! How can I compete with that? He and this Carla new each other since they were pups, how am I supposed to even compete with a dead she wolf he loved! Why does he even make me compete with her? Am his mate! ‘Calm yourself Mercy’ I rolled my eyes at wolf, how can I be calm when our mate doesn’t give us time of day? ‘He will, trust him’ wow what faith she had on the cold handsomely well built  man!

Mercia laughs ‘What’s so funny?’ she is beginning to annoy me I tell you. ‘You said his handsomely well built’ ahh! I screamed in my head and Mercia laughs even more, I blocked her. “My babies were the most adorable little things, they shared everything even a bed” wait they share a bed? Mercia is fuming along with me now ‘Why are you angry, were you not the one laughing at me just a moment ago?’ I asked her.

‘She said they shared a bed!’ I hate that part too and am beginning to hate this dead she wolf even more! “That is a pack hospital, we shall go in there and see Glenda shortly.” Luna points at the building that is not far from where we are and I just nod. Am so over this walk now am furious about Collin and this Carla. “They refused to be separated since the day they were born, oh my little twins, Glenda helped me give birth to them, I remember that day like it was yesterday.”

Wait what? Carla was his twin. ‘Ha ha you like jumping into conclusions!’ listen to this one talking ‘Were you not the one who was angry now just because you heard they shared a bed?’ I asked her ‘I didn’t know she was his twin sister!’ there she goes trying to justify herself. ‘And I was supposed to know that how, when our mate is not talking to me?’ I asked her and she remains quiet this time.

“Luna, did the death of his twin affect him so much that his personality changed? I know grief can change people but never to this extent.” Luna sighs and looks even more sad now. “That is not what changed him, after those months of grieving my poor baby couldn’t take it anymore, he wanted to kill himself, we didn’t even know he had left his room until he came back.”

My wolf whimpered, our mate wanted to end his life, what would have happened to us if he had succeeded in  doing so? We would have ended up with…’don’t say it!’ shouts Mercia in my head. “He said a witch took his ability to feel when he wanted to jump off that cliff. He said she told him that only after finding his mate will he be able to feel again.” Said Luna

But am here now and have been for the past two weeks but there is no change in him,! ‘Give him a chance, maybe it will take a bit of time for the spell to wear off’ Mercia might be right. ‘And if it doesn’t?’ I asked her ‘Don’t think like that!’ she reprimanded me. “Let’s hope my presence will help him go back to normal, I may not know him like you do but this Collin scares me, his indifference is scary and comes off as cruel at times.” Luna nodded.

“That is true but we can’t give up on him, since his father is…she paused with pain visible in her eyes…since his not here now and I am not in my best state, my only hope in getting my son back is you.” Well since I also want my mate to love me like any other mated wolf then I will do all I can to get him back. “I will try my best Luna.” I say to her.

“That’s all I ask and stop calling me Luna because you will be taking over this position soon.” She says and I smiled. I can already imagine the Luna ceremony where I will be named officially as the Black Moon Pack Luna. Mated, marked and happy. Goddess that would be the best day of my life! I may have not wanted an alpha for a mate because of how possessive and overbearing they are but I wouldn’t change a thing about Collin…well maybe his attitude!

“But for now you are still the Luna and I will address you as such” I say smiling at her and she smiles back. “Please call me Katherine, Luna is like a cruel reminder of the title I got because of John.” I see pain in her eyes and I understand why she’s saying this. Everything must remind her of her mate. “Okay then Katherine.” She gives me a small smile.

“Collin is about to leave the training grounds now, why don’t you go and organise lunch for the two of you while he goes to shower. You two have not spent time together since you got here.” She’s right, I just hope he will appreciate my effort. “Let me leave you then Katherine.” She smiles and nods. I walked back to the pack house while she goes to the pack hospital saying she’s going to see Glenda the pack doctor.

When I got to the pack house I went to the kitchen and asked one of the omegas to fix something for Collin and I for lunch. Just as the omega puts the plates of food in front of me Collin comes in. he looks at me then turns to leave, the pain I feel for his indifference is one I have ever felt before. It cuts deep in the roots of my heart, I hope that one day he will look at me with nothing but love, that one day he will want nothing more than to spend time with me. “I organised lunch for us, please sit with me” I say in a low voice feeling the tears heavy in my eye sockets.


I didn’t want to sit with her, Goddess knows I have a lot to do than sit with her! I turned to look at her ready to give her a piece of my mind for being selfish. The pack needs me to make things right and bring back their sense of security but she wants her time. However when our eyes locked I froze, her eyes are glittering with tears.

Where is mother when I need her? I turned to leave and avoid this nonsense. ‘Collin please I want to be with mate’ Carl spoke in my head. ‘Isn’t it enough that I let her sleep with me?’ I asked my ungrateful wolf, he is the one who begged me to let her sleep in my room, isn’t that enough? ‘She only wants a little bit of our time please’ Goddess why did you send her here? My wolf now is nagging like a pregnant woman because of her!

I turned again and walked towards her then she lets her tears fall, now this is annoying! I took my seat next to her. “Stop crying am here now.” I say and she wipes her tears and smiles. I wonder why, ‘She’s happy’ says Carl, oh that, I forgot what it feels like, I try to recollect how happiness fells like but I only get annoying memories of a person that looks like me but his grinning like a fool.

I shook my head to get rid of that disturbing memory. Damn my former self was annoying! “Thank you for seating with me” I can just imagine the stupid smile she has on now. Let me focus on my food. “Can we go for a run after lunch?” now she’s pushing it! She is pushing my buttons! ‘Calm yourself, we were going to go for an run anyway after lunch what’s wrong with going with our mate?” Only this fool would see nothing wrong with it.

‘We have the same mind you know’ I wonder how stupid does my wolf think I am. ‘I know that genius’ I say to him. “We can go for a run only if you promise not to say a word.” I glared at her and she swallowed. How annoying! “Not a problem!” Why does she look…that way? ‘Happy, you can say it, Mercia can’t wait to see me as much as I cant wait to see her’ I think this girl is no different from that witch who took my ability to feel.

But she, I hate the most because my wolf now is softer than a mash mellow and its because of her! We ate lunch in silence but she was beaming and dangling her feet. If this is a woman thing then their species is strange. When I finished I pushed the plate away and got up heading to the door. She jumped out of her seat and followed behind.

I got out then shifted to my midnight wolf “Carl” and started running. He used to be vicious and blunt but now…I would rather not say. My bloody mash mellow of a wolf is delighted to be let out and have some control. I don’t let him out much because of how he is, cruel and merciless. He slows down ‘What are you doing?’ this bloody thing is going to take advantage of being let out and make us act stupid in front of this she wolf. ‘Waiting for mate’ I rolled my eyes, I said so didn’t I?

She comes and stops next to us then Carl did the unthinkable! He fucking sniffed her like a dog! Goddess please bring my normal wolf back, I cannot deal with this weakling! What the hell is he doing? I only wanted to go for a peaceful run but no! she had to come along, now look! It’s a good thing I haven’t marked her she can’t mind link me.

After what feels like forever the fool starts running towards the river. ‘You are not taking her there Carl, am warning you not to take her there!’ I snapped at him, if he shows her this place I will never find peace, she will always come and find me here. ‘Let me do what I want like you do in our human form and am warning you Collin, you don’t want me to take full control or I will mark and mate with her without your knowledge’ what?

‘You wouldn’t!’ would he? Goddess that would be most annoying, having her in my head. ‘Try me, you might not want mate but I do, Mercia loves me and I her. Learn to love Mercy and treat her right or I will take matters into my hands and do what you fail to do.’ Wow my wolf is threatening me.

‘Fine! Show her our spot Carl, do what you want, go ahead and take our peace. We will be bothered every day because of you!’ I shouted ‘Mate is no bother Collin, she makes us whole.’ I shut my mouth when he said that, clearly his mind is made up and if I want to keep him from marking and mating with her. Then I will have to try and treat her right but how? Mike will have to help me with that.

Goddess I cant stand physical contact how am I suppose to hug and even worse kiss her. Let alone marking her and tasting her blood! Ahh I hate my wolf!

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