SIX~

DERA

    Twelve days of misery. The only time I left the house was on Sunday and Tami came with me. Normally Saturdays and Sundays were his days off but now I think it's just Saturdays now.

  The only reason I get to go to church was because just like me, Damilayo's parents are Christians and they never fail to attend Church on Sundays. So Damilayo couldn't really stop me from going to Church.

While they attended The Elevation church, I'm Strictly Catholic.

My Father and His Brother; Uncle Onyeka. Were raised as Catholics. My Uncle said I've always been Catholic and my parents would have loved to see me receive my first Holy Communion.

Since Aunty Yetunde attended a different church with her Children, Uncle Onyeka was used to going to church alone. He loved that I showed so much interest and was always happy to take me to church with him.

I can't really remember the times I spent with my Parents, I have little to no memories of them. I have only one Picture of them. Of Us. It was taken on my Baptism day in Church. I was still a baby and my parents were all smiles in that picture. That's the only thing that keeps my memory fresh on how they look because I know if my Uncle hadn't given me that Picture then I'd probably not even know how my Parents look now.

  One of the few things I remember was My Father getting me a Chaplet that glowed in the dark. I still have it till today and sometimes when I start to feel really lonely I pray the Rosary with it. When I first got here Damilayo hated that I wore the Chaplet. It was old and I may or may not have chewed the crucifix a little. Anyways he asked me to stop wearing it. He even got me a new one, a fancier gold one that he claimed was from Jerusalem. I didn't care where it came from or how fancy or expensive it was I just couldn't replace my old chaplet so I just didn't wear a chaplet at all.

  Another Memory I have is after their deaths. I could barely understand what was going on but I was taken to live with my Father's Mother. I remember the empty feeling inside. Knowing that deep down something was wrong.

I remember sitting on a small wooden stool in front of My Grandmother's house waiting for my Parents to come pick me up in their old black car but it never happened and before I knew it, I was in Lagos and now I'm Married to Damilayo Christian Adelaide.

Funny how his middle name is Christian but he's far from Christianity as a religion.

   For the past Twelve days, I haven't stepped a foot out of my room. Ini now brings food to my room and I barely eat it before abandoning it. Normally I don't eat breakfast so I just have Brunch and then Dinner. I haven't laid eyes on Damilayo so I really don't know how he's doing.

  So just like I've done for the past few days, I wake up late in the morning around 9am then I end up preparing a bubble bath for myself and light up the Vanilla scented candles. This is just something I saw in a movie once so I decided to try it.

It really does help one relax. In the movie the Girl had music playing in the background but I rather just sit in silence and think.

   I was just getting into my zone when a knock comes on my bedroom door. I didn't move at first because I thought maybe I must have Misheard maybe the loneliness was getting to me but I hears the knock again. That's when I drag myself out of the bathroom grabbing a towel on my way out. Thinking it must be Ini bringing in my food I press the towel to my chest. When I get to the door the familiar scent fills my nose and I roll my eyes.

"I don't want to see nor talk to anybody. Especially you Seyifunmi." I say loudly so she hears me.

"How did you know it's me? You don't even have a peephole or are you looking through the key hole?" I hear her say. I didn't bother mention that it wasn't possible to look through the key hole.

"Try wearing less perfume." I reply and I hear her hiss.

"Open door abeg. Dera, I've been apologizing to you for days now. Please na. Ma binu si mi." She pleads in yoruba and I don't say anything.

"I'm sorry things didn't go as planned-

"But shey I told you your brother would get angry. Now see." I interfere.

"Eh but I didn't think he would go as far as taking your phone and locking you in the house. Dera forgive me na. How do they say sorry In your Language?"

"Biko gbaharam." I reply.

"Ah. I cannot say that one o. Ok Dera Biko gba gba nahm o."

I couldn't hold back my laughter. "Chai. Bikonum stop. Don't spoil my language for me o." I decided I've punished her enough and I unlock the door letting her come in.

She takes in my appearance. "Were you bathing?"

I nod wrapping the towel around my chest. "I'm spoiling myself with a bubble bath o."

"Sounds nice and here I was thinking you were dying of loneliness and depression."

  Before I got too sucked up in the gist I went to rinse my body off the soup and drained the water and also turning off the candle lights.

  I spent the rest of the day with Seyifunmi and I realised how much I missed her. We had brunch then We talked and talked. She ordered Pizza from Dominos and Burgers and fries from Fuxion. Fuxion has to be the best food truck ever!

  Night time rolled by quickly and I practically begged Seyifunmi to stay over but she said she had a date. She claimed it wasn't a date but It felt like one. I could tell from her smile.

  When she left the loneliness and depression settled in so I cranked up the Volume of the Tv since it was on a music channel. Trace to be precise. I fooled around a bit in my spongebob pyjamas. It was a small silk shorts and matching spagetti hand top.

  I did a split which was something I've always been able to do. The worst thing happened to me. Still in my split position I look up at my full length mirror only to see Damilayo standing by my doorway. He looked genuinely shocked.

I slowly get up but in a kneeling position while he slowly makes his way towards me kicking up the remote from the edge of my bed and turning down the Volume.

"Did you just do that. Like just suddenly...." He trails off and I shake my head.

"It's just something I've always been able to do." I admit staring up at him.

"Ho-How long have you been there...watching?"

He shrugs. "Maybe when you started twerking."

Take me now God...

I cover my face with my hands in embarrassment. Muttering incoherent words.

"It wasn't bad. I was just genuinely shocked. I..I didn't expect any of that." He admits staring down at me.

Not liking where my head was at I got up to my feets wiping away invincible dust off my hands and legs.

I press my lips together sliding my tongue between them wetting my lips before speaking again.

"Um..why-What did you need?"

"I actually came to check up on you. Turns out you're doing pretty good."

I just couldn't get past it. "Why would you check up on me?" I ask and he frowns. I realised I must have sounded rude.

"Sorry. It's just...Um.. unusual I guess. I thought you'd be happy you got rid of me or something..." I must have sounded stupid to him because he just watched me in Amusement.

"Forget I said anything." I mutter flopping down on my bed.

"Do you hate me?" He suddenly asked and I lift my head to look at him. He only stands there watching me as I open and close my mouth trying but failing at speaking.

  I don't hate him. I don't think I'm capable of hating anyone. I hardly even get angry and when I do it's probably unnecessary.

"I mean, you should. You were forced to marry a man Five years older than you who treats you horribly. So you should hate me."

"Except, I don't." I let out softly and he scoffs.

"Is this an act? This innocent orphan girl act." He remarks and I purse my lips looking away from him. Am I suppose to answer that?

I hadn't realised he was now so close to me until he gently pulls my chin up to look at him.

"When I look at you, all I want to do is Dominate you but you're so damn innocent that it's so hard to restrain. I confess that I took your phone away from you just so you won't talk to any other guy. Especially Seun."

  I could barely grasp what he was saying. What exactly does dominate me mean?

"Have you ever watched Fifty shades of grey?" He asked and I shake my head.

"No." I breathed.

"Well that's too bad. Have you ever watched porn before or anything with sex in it?"

Why was he suddenly talking about sex with me? Like I know anything.

I gave it a thought. " No though I did come across this movie Superfly it had a...Um..." I trail off. I suddenly felt weird talking about this with him.

"Sex scene?" He offered and I nod. "Say it Dera." He demanded.

I was hesitant. "Sex scene. It had a sex scene." I muttered. "I felt weird watching it so I just skipped."

I watched as he loosened his black tie undoing the first three buttons of his White shirt and I swallow dryly.

"I know you're still a virgin but have you really never even tried to play with yourself before?"

He was coming too close to me so I moved away crawling further into the bed.

I let out a shaky breath. Why am I suddenly so hot? Abi this A.C. no dey work again?

"I don't...I never needed to besides it's a sin."

He chuckles. "But is it a Sin if your Husband touches you? Or isn't it written somewhere in the bible that a husband has just as much right over his wife's body than she does?"

Was it? I wasn't sure or maybe I missed it or I haven't read that far into the Bible.

"Do you want me to touch you?"

I don't know.

"Let me explore you and if you feel uncomfortable feel free to tell me to stop. Though I doubt you'd need to." He says quietly almost in a whisper but I heard him loud and clear and I didn't stop him when he pulled my shorts down my legs along with my panties.

Oh...this was really happening.

He lays down beside me urging me to lie down and relax. I let out a shaky breath and I closed my eyes trying to calm my racing heart as he parts my legs pulling one over his. My core was bare and though I wasn't completely naked it felt as if I was.

  He places a Kiss on my bare shoulder as he massages my inner thighs. I prey my eyes open turning to meet his dark void eyes.

  He finally touches my core and I gasp.

"You're wet." He comments and I press my lips together.

"I'll make this quick." He had just started and I was just starting to let loose and I enjoy the feel of his touch. I don't want him ending it soon though I didn't say that because as it is he can already sense my need to feel him everywhere. I don't want to feed his ego by making my desperation evident.

  He worshipped my core with his talented fingers and I had to remind myself that he has had alot of practice with other women.

I gripped the sheets when he slid his long middle finger into me and my inner walls immediately clench around his finger.

"You're so tight and wet. It makes me want to have you. All of you."

All of me?

He starts pumping his finger into me. In and out. I clasp my free hand around my mouth.

"No let it out. I want to hear it." He tells me and I squeeze my eyes shut momentarily before preying my hand off my mouth.

He tries to push in a second finger but I let out a yelp. He tries again and succeeds in adding a second finger and he earns a small scream from me.

"Do you like this? Can you handle this or is it a Sin?"

If this was a Sin, it was a Sin I let myself commit. I wanted to commit.

I let out a whimper as he prompts himself onto his elbow and increases his phase. I feel the pressure build inside of me.

Is it suppose to feel like this? Or do I really just need to pee.

My own moans and moans fill my ears and by the time he finished with me I didn't know what was going on anymore. My brain was mush.

   "It was that easy." I hear him say and I prey my eyes open to see he's now standing in front of the bed wiping his hands with a white handkerchief.

I frown.

"It was really that easy and if I was willing. By now, you wouldn't be a virgin anymore."

Confusion filled me and I sat up.

What was he saying?

"If it was that easy for me to get you then I'm pretty sure it won't be that hard for any other guy to get to you and by the time Seun gets a turn you won't be this tight anymore.

  You say I treat you like a child but I do what I do to protect you because you are just too innocent and Naive. You're too gullible and if not me or Seun then someone else would take your innocence away. Dera. "

He left.

So this is how she felt. The girl. Seun's Ex. This is how she felt.

Used.

I did something I was getting used to. I cried. I cried so much that there was no tears left. My tear bank was still refilling itself so while I waited I pondered on how good and how stupid he made me feel.

  He went through all of that just to prove his point that I was indeed Naive, gullible, stupid and most importantly; he proved that I'd always remain a Scared Fifteen years old.

Alot of things were going through my mind at the moment.

How can one person cause another so much pain? Is this how it's suppose to be for me? Am I just supposed to keep taking his crap? I can't fight back. I'm too scared to.

So I do what any scared Fifteen years old going through all of this would have done.

I gave up.

Because I rather die than face that monster again.