AIN'T GOT NO BETTER WAY

Wouldn’t to show it, even though the heart screams that fear is there. But verbally denied it.

That night Kurt and William his partner at his law firm sat in a bar in Chicago, when their normal day was over at the court, helping, defending and listening to his clients at their law firm.

“Well?” Will start not wanting to ask Kurt directly and let him say first

“I feel this will never end” he said and drinking a large gulp, he needs a lot of drinking to talk about this

“What that’s mean?” will ask seriously while pouring his drink back into Kurt tumbler glass

“She nerve me, come to my life and break up my lonely” he took a sip exhaling loudly, will just sit quietly next to him as he listening “I know when I met her I was completely gone, You know… she smart, gorgeous, everyone know her even desire her… and forget about her politics” he finished with little smile make will grin on his seat ”I meet her first time when we were at the coffee shop, I didn't know that she was a reporter, we just talked, but I was like knowing her for a long time, her eyes...the blue color in her eyes made me forget everything, her smile...her laugh made life for me” he smirked beneath his mustache “After that day I can't forget her, She is not an easy woman to get, when I was in New York, I also did not know … maybe it was fate that made me find her when she didn’t contact me when we first met, and when she into me, I always couldn’t help myself and we’re keep meeting casual, so that I couldn’t stand when I didn’t see her… so I proposed her” he smiled while remembering the good memories make will smile too

They don't usually talk about problems in their personal life, moreover Kurt he prefers cover it to be silent, he is a stoic person who has intelligence, stance, control and a strong background to influence the government. But who knows that a woman can influence him so much even like controlling him.

“So, what's the problem?” Will said turning at Kurt direction, try to break the silence and sip his drink

“You know I do everything to make her happy but that's not enough according to her...maybe” he reply continuing the story not listening to Will too focused on his mind  “Everything was beautiful when we got married, I never felt anything special in my life until she came and changed everything and made me believe it” Will only focus on his face and want to say something but Kurt continues his story “She told me that life is short Kurt, you have to do what you want before it's too late” Kurt paused shook his head slowly sip his drink again with one gulp “I know when I proposed to her that she wasn’t a news anchor, and I also knew that she was very busy at work because she made a target... but that's why I like her, her independence overcomes all problems, her optimism even everything she does…amazed me” Will stared to Kurt face which turned into horror, Kurt has known Will for a long time like his brother and partner in firm who share complaints every day, and willing to help if anything else comes along no wonder if there is something wrong they will find out with just one look.

“I know her Kurt” Will said with a smile but Kurt face was only flat as if he was holding an emotion

“I also knew her too will, but now I no longer believe that I understand her” he said bitterly holding the tumbler glass as if to break it

“Kurt-“ Will startled, looking at Kurt while gaping

“He killed our baby Will, 7 years ago she had an abortion just to be a News anchor on CBS” Kurt intrude cut Will, his expression was blank but his eyes seemed to want to shed tears, Will seems Surprised his eyes going wide as his mouth fall open, he knew Kurt and be his partner in the firm for 6 years but Kurt never told him this, he had only been close friends with Kurt for a year working with him and become a bond like a brother. Will know Diane... Kurt wife, he also often saw her coming to they’re firm.

“Maybe Diane was young at the time, maybe she wasn't ready to have a baby Kurt” he replied spontaneously

“But that's not the way will, she changed a lot because of her work!” he shot back defiantly

“It's not too late Kurt...You can have another baby, and you know it...you can still try it” Will began his voice calm as he meet Kurt expression as he is shaking his head

“NO!” he said little louder “-Will, you don’t know how difficult it is for me to see her every day and not imagine the baby she killed!” he continued his tirade show his pained expression

“But you still love her right?” Will eyes thinned with quirked eyebrow while Kurt clenched his teeth.

“Love, she just got me in chains Will! Even after everything that's happened I can't let go of her” he sighed after long moment, closing his eyes in defeat.

Will catches Kurt of guard when he stares at the look on Kurt's face, When Kurt finished in the courtroom with Judge Paul, defended max which is illegal immigration who charged attacks a company leader where he worked, the prosecution want Max jailed for five year and deport him to his country, and it's even worse when he act about cases involving children...

He observe him when they work together in firm every day for a long time looks dreamy with depression especially when in court when his terrible face always appears, he knows Kurt is a stoic person even in law firm he listens and analyzes more before looking and make conclusions, but from this conversation there may be people who change his thinking, make him change all his views.

“You have to talk to her Kurt, maybe she has changed, because time is right so short, you don’t know what will happened tomorrow…you can't change what happens but you can fix it while you have time Kurt” Will met Kurt eyes, he wants to give suggestion because it's hard to see someone hurt like this, he know Kurt for a long time even though he was angry he would remain silent, or just said a few word, will never seeing him this desperate before.

Kurt just remained silent, thinking about what Will had just said, maybe Will was right, time was short, Diane only made a mistake once why he could not forgive her, maybe right Diane betrayed him, but what happens if he can't see Diane anymore, she never cheat too and never lied, why he just can’t forgive her, he also still love her, he has to start to forgive her again before everything is too late...

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Diane is sitting in front of the mirror wearing a golden dress, she look always stunning and gorgeous as well, her eyes closed considering the relationship with her past man, lately she kept imagining about the day with that man, she woke up and opened her eyes because she was shocked when the makeup artist Marisa talked to her. Marisa thought she felt nervous because of the award she would receive later. She biting her lips and shook her head

“What's wrong with my sexual desire…” she releasing a sighed muttered to herself and heading to the awards ceremony room will be held

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Diane smiled in a different direction, many people said that this award was cheated because there was no change from year to year, huh, if only people knew how difficult it would be like her to separate politics, family and even yourself...she thought and looked around, follow everyone moving around before the event starts

Diane pursed her lips, she stood backstage with a man preparing to read who would receive the award

Diane Lockhart going up on stage was greeted with big round of applause. On stage her eyes immediately drawn to girl sitting in on the round table in the middle using a long dress with a low cut dress with color black try to get people's attention, she was surprised to see someone coming to this event …