Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 It's been 3 months when Dravo died and my emotion was mutual. Only Amanda, his sister, was the only one who always visited me, Camille and the others were busy with their studies while I? I couldn't stop disparaging myself and no police could ever help me, no rescue at all. I was dying daily from the past that was buried in my heart of hearts.

"Where are you?" I texted Amanda, she replied, " I'll be there in an hour."

"Could you come earlier than that?" I asked but she said she was doing something important.

 Everyone was excited about their entrance exam in College for next year, they seemed forgotten everything that happened to Dravo, so easily. But I...I never left this place, my room. I never went out since Dravo died. I didn't go to my work nor to my class, I withdrew.

Tears began to sting in the edge of my eyes again, the injury I had was the same from Dravo's funeral, it never changed despite the months that had been departed, never. And that man was continuously sending me gifts, he even brought me a dress last Christmas eve, it was last month.

I kept contacting the police and they said I should just move on, it was a hard case and I was mad that I kept calling them and they also kept hanging up, but after calling them multiple times, I guessed someone got annoyed and that someone just answered my call.

"Ash Sharen?" he asked, his voice was elevated and cold, plain, but it sounds worrying. His voice was trying to comfort me so I didn't dare to yell at him. I felt like he might be different from the others that I've talked to before, "Yes, it's me," I responded.

"Okay, ma'am. I understand your pain, but you have to move on it's already done. Please, you know it well that the case was closed," he said in a weak voice.

He was calm but I didn't care, he did make me felt comfortable awhile ago but telling me to move on just what others did, made me foolish, they were all the same after all, so I shouted at him, "Because you did nothing!" 

I heard him sighed and I could hear this weird noise from him, it was like a continuous knock, "Ma'am, we did everything we can, but we can not prove that the one who was sending you a gift was the same person who killed your boyfriend," he added.

I groaned," So why did you closed the case if you didn't even catch the murderer?" I was gritting my teeth.

"Ma'am, we only follow orders. Please don't call us for the same reasons. I advise you to just carry on with your life and forget the past. I apologize for everything that happened. Thank you, Ms. Ash,"  he said and saying goodbye.

"Wait don't dare to hang up!" I exclaimed before he says goodbye again. I would never forgive him when he hangs up without my permission.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. Please don't disturb the police again," he said and this time he really did hang up. My head was spinning around, my guilt was devouring me. The justice that I was yearning for a long time, was deliberately becoming to be just a dream.

"Damn you!" I shouted at my phone and I threw it away, and it was too late before I realize that it would put away everything... I picked up my phone and it was damaged- badly damaged.

I cried, "No, please," I begged, but it was too late, I couldn't fix it. I pushed my vase in madness. And when I saw it shattered and brought a mess on the floor I admitted that I was hopeless.

All my images and videos with Dravo perished in one pulp, I couldn't overhaul it, only one photo left, only one. And it was the most invaluable photos of all, the photo was our first photograph, we were both wearing the same red shirt, like a couple shirt, and we were helping the orphans with their gifts, we volunteered together on their anniversary business trip, the orphanage was the same place I went before. They actually didn't expect me to come back after years and after running away. Everyone was shocked when I introduced who I was, and even my best friend Christian didn't expect me to come. Christian was like my brother, he was like Amanda who never left me and protected me. I was glad that I saw him on the anniversary, and knowing that he has met a foster parent which loved him a lot made me jealous. I wonder if I didn't run away that night, I maybe had one also.

"What happened?" Amanda said. I didn't even hear her footsteps coming, and how did she enter my room?

"Didn't I lock it before?" I got confused..." Is it open since...."

"Hey, what happened?" she repeated and I explained to her what happened and she felt sorry about my photos and videos.

"Ash, I know it was hard, even I... My brother's death was still fresh in my head, but life must go on. Please, this is not what my brother wants you to do, Ash. Please, take a grip of yourself and snap this out," she said sincerely which warmed my heart.

"Thank you, Amanda," I said and I hugged her.

She helped me fix the mess and after clearing up the ground I saw the gift from that murderer. I took it and put it in the trash container together with my broken vase.

"Hey, you sure about that?" Amanda asked.

"Yes, of course. How could I accept a gift from someone who killed my boyfriend and YOUR BROTHER," I really stressed the word 'Your brother' for her to not forget who was killed!

"But what if he didn't really kill him?" Amanda asked and I looked at her in the eyes, like what the heck? Is she got brainwashed by the police or what?!

"What are you talking about it was obvious, Amanda," I said.

She soughed, "What if the police were right, Ash."

"Right about what?" I questioned.

"That the notes were just a joke but he didn't mean it and it happened that it was a coincidence that someone killed my brother. Because if he really did want to kill Dravo, why does it took him a year?" she said. She got a point, I was receiving letters for a year and nothing happened before Dravo died.

"Is it really a coincidence?" I was stressing myself too much, I wanted to believe conceivably they were right, but I wouldn't think that way, it was all clear to me. He killed Dravo.

"Please, Amanda..." I got stressed I didn't want to argue with my best friend and glad she did the same.

"Okay, I'm sorry," she apologized.

We were silent when we were having some snacks not until she told me to go back to school. I should live my life well. Hearing the same words over and over again was a pain in my brain. But I knew that I should have not imprisoned myself here.

"Hey, what happened?" Amanda asked in surprise when I suddenly stood up.

I looked at her, " Amanda, I was going to find that killer. I was a damn coward to stay here and wasted my time in this place, I will find her Amanda, I will," all my determination was devouring me and Amanda just threw up because of the words I said. She might think I cross the line but I was serious when I said I would.