Love. Before I underestimate the word love. I don't even believe in the power of it. Love, for me it's just an ordinary feeling that people felt. But at the end, they will realize love cannot lift them from mud.
I use to play boys feeling. I use to play and never get serious. I just want to play and just playing. Getting serious, means you are a boring kind of human. Kaya hindi ako nagseryoso nung una, at puro paglalaro lang ang ginawa ko.
I hate to admit it but now, I eaten what I said before. I eat what I did before. Everything what happened before, makes me realize that I am freaking wrong. Masarap pala ang magmahal. Masarap dahil hindi lang pag aalaga ang mararamdaman mo, may iba pa at iyon ang pinakamasayang parte ng pagmamahal.<
Kabanata 15DDeeper"Baby sir gising na!" Pagpupukaw ko kay Karl.It was already three in the afternoon. And our plan for the date is coming. Ang sabi ko ngayong hapon kami pupunta ng mall kasi hindi na madami ang tao.Pero dahil napagod siya sa paglalaba kaya hinayaan ko nalang na matulog muna. I know he's tired, and it's my fault. Pero mabuti naman ang ginawa ko diba? It's a lesson that he needs to know. Mas mabuti kasing hindi na kami gumamit ng washing machine para makabawas sa kuryente, and at the same time malinis pa ang damit namin.I want a practical way of living. Yung hindi tataas ang binabayaran namin sa bahay. Yung nakakapagtipid kami. It's the way of how one couple handling their relationship. It's the way how one couple survive in one roof. Living with him makes me realize that I should really be practical. Practical in all aspe
Kabanata 16RoundsHalos hindi ako makahinga ng sakupin ni Karl ang labi ko. Bawat lapat ng labi niya ay dumidiin sa akin. Halos maubusan ako hangin sa tuwing sinisipsip niya ang dila.He cupped my breast when the heat up. Napatingala ako ng bitawan niya ang labi ko at bumaba ang mainit niyang labi sa leeg ko. Napaungol ako ng sobra nung naramdaman ko ang dila niya sa leeg ko. He lick my neck so hard and I can't even do anything only for moan.Nanghihina kong inabot ang pantaloon niya at mabilisang tinanggal ang sinturon. Napatigil pa siya ng maramdaman ang pagiging aggressive ko. He continue licking my neck down to my cleavage. I moan hard everytime his warm lips planted on my skin. He is fucking good.
Kabanata 17TalkHindi ako bumangon sa higaan namin kahit pa kanina pa ako gising. I let my sighed hard pumice in me. Hindi ko akalain na magagawa namin iyon. Magagawa sa lamesang kinakainan namin. Tama nga ang mga sinabi ng kaibigan ko. It was a good feeling last night. I remember every thrust he did, it was filled with love and care. Every spur his seeds inside me, indicated of his pure loved. Yes, ilang ulit pa naming ginawa iyon hanggang sa umabot kami ng umaga. I didn't know that it was Karl Marx first too. Kaya sobrang nasabik yata sa akin kagabi at inangkin ako ng paulit-ulit. Ilang beses niya ding pinasok sa akin ang katas niya at pakiramdam ko punong-puno pa ako hanggang ngayon.Nanlaki ang mata ko ng maalala ang lahat. Pakshet kailan ako huling dinatnat? I remember my last period was second week of last month and it was far now. Oh shit matagal na akong dinatnat at may pakiramdam akong hindi mabuti. What if I am fragile? What if I get pregnant? Libo-libong tahip ng kaba a
Kabanata 18BisitaThe town look so fabulous. The city lights make the scenery best. The people walking in the street make the whole town alive. Seeing this scene makes me calm. Nawala ng kaunti ang nararamdaman kong sakit kanina. Habang pinagmamasdan ko ang kabuohan ng Tacloban, naramdaman ko ang pagkawala ng pait sa puso ko. It's like...this scenery makes me really calm.Dahil sa katuwaan namin ni Chancellor, hindi na kami nakapasok sa last subject namin at namasyal na lang sa downtown. He even introduce to me the Station of the Cross, it's one of the beautiful spot here. Hindi ko akalain na may ganito pala sa Tacloban, I am living here but I am unaware with this cozy sight.Station of the Cross is the God Homes. Every station has it statue of Jesus suffering from the crucifixion. Kaya habang inaakyat namin ang taas ng bundok, nakaramdam ako ng bigat sa puso habang pinagmamasdan ang statue. Tapos nang makarating kami sa rurok ng bundok, doon ko na nakita ang magandang tanawin ng Ta
Kabanata 19 Estrecia Blaine"Base on my research, Estrecia Blaine Costiño is the only girl he pursue back then. She was very young when Sir Karl Marx starting to like her." Dominador said.Napatingin kaming lahat sa kanya. Nasa IGP kami at kasalukuyang kumakain ng snack namin. Kanina, pagkatapos ng pangalawang subject namin ay vacant namin kaya dito kami dumiretso. I told them about the girl who visited last night. I told them that I feel there is something on them. Hindi ko alam kung malakas lang ba talaga ang pakiramdam ko pero sa klase ng nasaksihan ko kagabi, tunay na pinahahalagahan ni Karl yung babaeng yun.Hindi niya man sabihin pero ramdam ko e. Ganito ba talaga ang instinct ng babae? Kahit walang tiyak na sagot, talagang kukumbinsihin ang sarili na tunay ang pakiramdam niya. Is this what we feel, girls? Pagkatapos ng nangyari sa boarding house kaninang umaga, iniwan niya ako at hindi hinatid sa iskwelahan namin. Paglabas ko ng kwarto, wala ng bakas ni Karl kaya sobra akong
Kabanata 20Signature"Why are you here? What's wrong Martha? Alam mo, nahahalata ko na ang pagiging ganito mo. I want to know what's really bothering you." Chancellor concerned voice echoed.I look at him and while my mouth chewagain a food. His eyes were really concerned. He sighed heavily.Should I tell him about us? Should I tell him about Karl Marx doing with me? Is he really a trustworthy person? If I tell him about the truth, wouldn't he divulge it? Would he keep it as his secret?Chancellor is good to me. He help me with all my pains now. I can call him anytime and ask a help. I can make him come with me and just put his self beside me so that I can cry in his shoulder when I'm shattered. He is good to me. He is very real and amiable guy. I think, I can trust him with my secret. I swallowed the food so I can talk. We look at each other intently."You really wanna know Chan?" I ask him verily.He sighed then nod his head, cue that he really wanna know. I will gonna tell him no
Kabanata 21MalayaTumingin ako sa picture frame namin na nasa side table. It was the most happiest picture we have. The memorable and unforgettable. I remember this day, it was happened in the Mags when we eat an ice cream. It was happened two months ago from now.Namuo ulit ang luhang tumakas sa mata ko. Namuo ulit ang sakit at pagdadalamhati para sa kanya. Isang buwan na simula ng umalis siya. Isang buwan na simula ng maiwan ako dito at naghintay sa kanya. Isang impyernong buwan na simula ng hindi na siya bumalik.Isang buwan na at hanggang ngayon bumabalik sa alaala ko ang mga mata niya, ang ilong at ang kabuohan ng mukha niya. Ano bang nangyari? Bakit hindi na siya bumalik? Bakit hanggang ngayon wala parin siya? Bakit hanggang ngayon...hindi parin siya nakakabalik? Anong nangyari?I touched the my tummy, I smile sadly when I felt it...when I felt his baby inside me. Yes, I am two weeks pregnant now. I am bearing his child now. I am the mother of his child now...pero bakit hindi p
Kabanata 22DarknessLife must be beautiful and productive. Life makes all worth it. I have seen people who fell in love and happy. I have seen couple who survive and still holding onto each other. I have seen life who had been survive and still breathing.But...I am the only one who didn't survive for the life I want. I didn't survive and now I am throe. I had been wishing to have the life I want...but it seems the world wouldn't like to grant it. Never.I smiled to the person who saved me from everything. I smiled to the man who had been in my side to support me and never leave me. I smile to him...the man who make my life subsist. "It has been five years from now Martha. Limang tao na tayong nandito sa Nuuk, wala kabang balak na umuwi sa Pilipinas?" Chancellor voice echoed.Umulit akong ngumiti at hinimas ang balikat niya. Nasa terrace kaming dalawa at tinitignan ang magandang tanawin ng mga bumabagsak na snow. Malamig dito at halos limang jacket ang isuot namin dito. Lalo pa ngay