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Chapter 37
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Lillian Blackwood Chapter 38
“Hi, baby.” Luke smiles sweetly, stroking my face, his other hand playing with my hair.“Hi, I think I had another bad dream, and you were in it this time. Dean shot you.” I tell him, staring into those beautiful hazel eyes. He frowns.“It was a dream, wasn’t it?” I ask, as his frown deepens.“No baby, not a dream.” He smiles lovingly. “Will you sing me that lullaby song?”“Always.” I sing the song as he holds me tightly and says, “I love you, baby.”I blink up at an unfamiliar ceiling. Jesus, I must have been on a hell of a boozy night out. I look around the room. It’s all off-white, except for the curtains, they’re grey. Definitely not at home. Did Luke take me to his place? He needs a new decorator. Who has a mini-fridge in a bedroom?“Luke?” I whisper, my voice dry and horse. I try to turn but the pain is excruciating, my back, and chest ache like nothing I’ve ever felt before. My head, I touch my head, fuck, it hurts. Someone yells.“Lily!” it’s Abby. Good god, did she need to sc
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 39
After returning from another MRI scan and more blood tests. I visit Luke. JJ is sitting in the corner talking on the phone. I wave to him and sit by Luke’s bed, squeezing his hand gently. “I was just on the phone with Dylan. He and Declan are on their way here. They’re currently in Singapore for the layover.” He tells me. “Okay.” it’s not the best setting to meet Luke’s family, but I do hope that he wakes before they get here. They should come home to some good news. I smile at JJ. “Any news?” “Yes, they’re taking him out of his coma tomorrow.” He grins. “That’s wonderful news.” I gaze down at Luke. I can’t wait for him to wake up. “Yes, it is. I’m very sorry about your Mum. Esther, she was a real sweetheart.” I frown, “You know Lily, it isn’t your fault. Dean and Mel are their own people. They did this.” “Thanks, JJ, I know, it’s not my fault,” I sigh. “Well, the rational part of my brain knows it, but I still can’t help feeling guilty. It’ll take a while; I guess.” I shrug
Lillian Blackwood Epilogue
I watch the woman my brothers tell me I loved. The One. That’s what my journal tells me. Lillian Blackwood is my one. The problem is I can’t remember her. Not a single thing. All the descriptions I wrote about her don’t do her justice. Even while I watch her breakdown. While I watch my brother comforts her, over a dog named Benny. She’s still incredibly beautiful. “Are you willing to let that go?” Dylan asks as he watches the commotion in front of us. “I can’t let go of something I didn’t know I had.” I shrug and walk outside. The house is beautiful. I’m told it’s her mother’s or was. “You need to think about this.” Dylan pulls the ring from his pocket. “You commissioned this piece, Lucas. That’s how serious you are,” he shakes his head, “Were about Lily. She’s a wonderful woman, and she is going through a lot right now. Decide.” He storms off back inside. I take in the view of this beautiful piece of land. It’s just as I described in my journal. Decisions…. Stay or leave?
Lillian Blackwood Prologue
*****WARNING******* This book may cause triggers and contain mature domestic violence themes, flashbacks of sexual, physical and emotional abuse, and medical trauma. This story may not be for you. ******************** Perseverance is more prevailing than violence; and many things
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 1
Four years earlier, the escape Lately, I’ve been looking at myself in the mirror and I wonder who is that young woman looking back at me. What happened to her? There’s a glazed look in her eyes and tiredness and yet she is alert all at the same time. She appears to be sad and depressed when he isn’t here. With a sigh, I plaster on a smile. Dean loves you; it’s going to a good day. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that”, the woman in the mirror smirks at me, “It may be a different day, but it’ll end the same as every other day, and it’s your fault” she points her finger at me, blaming me. I look away from the mirror. I can’t stand the bitch telling me how stupid I am; I know it’s my fault. I don’t need her to point it out. I should have cooked something different. Maybe that would have made a difference. Last night was a bad one. I’m surprised I can even walk straight with what he did to me last night. I feel so damn
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 2
The memories of last night overwhelm me. Things should have been perfect and yet. I turn the oven on low to keep our dinner warm. I look around for anything else I might have missed. I have put the laundry away and dressed nice, neat, and clean to Dean’s liking, but still, I feel like I’ve missed something. I fidget on the spot; this red piece of lingerie he wanted me to wear is entirely impractical—the slightest movement and the tiny string bites into the crest of my arse. But if I want to have a good night, a peaceful night, I must follow Dean’s every command. I don’t think my body can take another night of abuse like last night; I’m still very sore. I start to fidget again, I want to make him happy I do, but sex with Dean isn’t like it used to be. Ha! Used to be, I don’t think he has ever been gentle. I bite my lip nervously, “Everything is going to be okay”, I whisper to myself.
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 3
Present Day “I will hunt you down”, he breathes in my ear. “I will hunt you, like the fucking pig that you are.” He snarls, “I will kill you and your family if you ever leave me.” “I-I promise, I won’t leave. I don’t want to leave Dean. Please!” I beg him. I wholeheartedly believe he will kill my family and me. “Not good enough. Come,” Dean orders. He tugs my arm hard and drags me to the car, tossing me into the passenger side, slamming the door behind him. When he climbs into the driver's side, he smiles at me sinisterly and starts the car. We drive down a very dark long dirt road with no streetlights. Dean stops, puts the car in park, and turns to me with an icy stare and evil smirk. He turns the headlights off; for a moment; we’re in complete darkness. Just as quickly as he turned them off, he turns the lights back on to high beam. We’re in the bush, the kind of plac
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 4
I have four ladies in my final session. Rebecca, who typically runs this group, filled me in about these ladies have not quite come out of their shell individually or with each other. So today, I will tell them a little of my story in the hopes that it will be small comfort to them and help them open up or, at the very least, not feel so alone even if they’re in a group with similar issues. “Good Morning ladies, my name is Lilly, and I have survived domestic violence.” We go around the group with introductions and some small talk. I can see how anxious everyone is. “Rebecca asked me to be here today, to tell you a little bit of what I’ve been through since I left my abuser.” “Bec said it’s your last day”, Kelly states “It is.” “Can I ask why?” Annie asks in a small voice “I feel like it’s time.” Kelly gives me a quizzical look, “I’m not a trained professional. I do these sessions because I know it helped me in the beginni
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