Benchwarmer

Monday morning practice brought relief to Jacob's nerves. He always felt better on the court. This was his place, his purpose. The familiar feel of the bumpy rubber texture in his hands before a free-throw was comforting. He extended his arm and released the ball from his fingertips. It flew through the air and he felt at peace. The ball swished through the net of the basket, not even close to the rim. That was bliss.

Practice ended and brought Jacob back to the present. For the first time since he joined, Jacob ended with the rest of the team. He didn't even notice their presence. They were just other guys; it's not like they were Seth. They were different now. The world was segregated into Seth and Not-Seth. 

Bret noticed Jacob was with them. "Look at you! Not doing overtime today? Finally giving the rest of us a chance to catch up?" It was no secret that Jacob was the best on the team. He had been offered the position of captain at the end of last year, but he turned it down. 

Jacob just scoffed at Bret's comment. He didn't owe them any explanation. 

The real captain, James Dooley, rounded up the team as they were changing. 

"Since you’re all here, we’ve got some business. We've agreed to a skirmish with the Columbia Wildcats before the official season starts this weekend. Half the Columbia team are going to show up to our evening practice after school tomorrow. This will be a good opportunity to test our new plays."

Everyone seemed excited. Columbia was second in their division district. If they could get a heads-up on Columbia’s current abilities, they'd have a good chance at making it to the playoffs. If they could at least beat Columbia, they would be guaranteed the number two spot from their district at the division state championship.  

Jacob hung his head. Everyone looked at him. 

"Is there a problem, Jake?" asked James. 

"My parents have schedule a kind of important dinner. I can't be at practice tomorrow night."

Disappointed groans echoed through the locker room.  

"Well, that's it then," James sighed. "We'll have to do it without Jake." 

Shouts of consternation and disagreement followed.

"What? You don't think we can win without Jacob Foster? What kind of lousy team are you? Besides, this isn’t a conference game. It’s just practice." 

Jacob clapped Bret on the shoulder. “Think of it this way, now’s your chance to catch up,” he teased. 

“Colin, it looks like you’ll be Shooting guard tomorrow. Are you ready?” asked James. 

Colin nodded his head. Jacob could always count on Colin. He was a strong player and often was sent in to give Jacob a breather before the game’s final few minutes. He was a junior, and would probably be taking over shooting guard after Jacob graduated next spring. 

With that settled, the team was released to finish changing. 

“Fancy dinner, huh?” Colin opened his locker beside Jacob.

“Yeah. My family’s all highkey hyped for me dating Sarah and got a whole thing planned with her family. I’m not into it, but whatever.” Jacob shoved his gym clothes in his locker. 

“Sucks for you!” Colin chided cheerfully. “You get Sarah alone, yet?”

“Nah,” Jacob said as he laced his shoes. “We haven’t hung out much outside school yet.”

“You are one lucky mofo, dude,” Colin shook his head and smiled. “She is hot, man.” 

“Yeah, she’s also a really good person.” Jacob swung his backpack over his shoulder. 

“Whatever, man,” said Colin. He turned and hurried after Bret out the door. Colin stuck to Bret like a shadow. They were a year apart, but as soon as Colin joined the school, he and Bret became inseparable. Bret loved feeling like a cool mentor, and Colin got to ride on Bret’s popularity. 

Jacob had known Bret since middle school, but it didn’t bother him that Colin was closer to Bret than he had ever been. They were his teammates, but they were more friends of circumstance than anything. 

School passed uneventfully, and Jacob found himself back on the court that afternoon. The whole team didn’t always practice both morning and afternoon - morning practice wasn’t even an official practice - but he did. At least, he had until the recent upheavals in his life. He didn’t like when his routine was interrupted; it made him uncomfortable. Everything about the last two weeks had made him uncomfortable. It was nice to get back into the routine of practice, especially with the first games coming up. 

The gym was filled with the echoing sounds of sneakers on the polished court and the repetitive hollow smack of the ball against the floor. Jacob breathed out the stress from the day before hitting the court and signaling for James to pass him the ball. 

He caught it, dribbled up to the three-point line, and let the ball loose from his fingers. It swished through the net with no sound and was rebounded by Charlie, who passed it to Bret. They had fallen into a small game of two-on-two, without a word spoken; James and Jacob against Charlie and Bret, while they waited for Colin and Derek to get changed.

They traded control of the ball up and down the court. Jacob was in his element. He didn’t have to think. Everything made sense. 

James passed him the ball when he was at the foul line; easy shot. 

No problem.

Jacob raised the ball to shoot and saw Sarah and Seth sitting next to each other on the bleachers, cheering for him. 

Jacob could feel something was wrong before the ball left his fingers. “Fuck!” It flew through the air, hit the edge of the backboard, and bounced off, out of bounds. 

“What was that, Jake?” James said as he approached Jacob. Bret climbed into the bleachers to recover the ball.

“Fuck. Sorry. I was distracted.” Jacob shook his hands to release excess tension. He kicked himself internally for the mistake. “Can you give me a minute?”

“Yeah, sure.” James let him go. 

Jacob jogged over to the bleachers where Sarah and Seth were sitting. They climbed down the bleachers to meet him. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

“I ran into Seth on my way out and he told me about you tutoring him after school,” Sarah explained. 

Seth smiled sheepishly at Jacob from beside Sarah. 

Sarah continued. “So, since he had to wait for you anyway, I suggested we come watch you practice. I hadn’t seen you play yet. You’re really good!”    

“Except for that last throw,” Seth joked, eyes glinting mischievously. Jacob glared at him. Who’s fault did he think that was, anyway?

“Is it okay if we watch the rest of practice?” Sarah implored. 

The earnest hopefulness in Sarah’s request and the playful eagerness in Seth’s face forced Jacob to agree. He would have to play in front of them at some point anyway, he was sure. It might as well be now. Did they have to be here together, though? He remembered Sarah saying she and Seth were friends, but actually seeing them together put him on edge. He cracked his fingers to ease the tingling in his hands. “Yeah, I don’t mind.”

“Thanks! We won’t be a distraction, I promise!” Sarah turned to bounce back up into the bleachers, pulling Seth along behind her. Seth’s eyes met his, and Jacob almost tripped over his own feet as he returned to the court. 

He tried to focus on his teammates for the rest of the practice, but he was definitely off his game. He missed two more of the five throws he tried before the end and lost the ball to Ray Cipriani of all people, a sophomore. He was slick with sweat when the Coach finally called it for the day. 

“Christ, Jacob. After that performance, I think I’m glad you won’t be with us tomorrow night,” said Bret as he shouldered past Jacob into the locker room. 

“What was with you out there?” asked Charlie.

“He’s got it fucking bad,” Derek observed. He almost never spoke. 

Jacob sat down on the bench next to his locker and slumped over, his elbows resting on his knees. 

“I mean, it’s Sarah Fucking Williams, so I get it, but fuck, man.” Bret peeled his jersey off. 

“I know,” Jacob rasped. 

James approached Jacob and rested his hands on Jacob’s shoulders, forcing him to look up. His short curls were shiny with sweat, but his green eyes were calm and earnest. He was a good captain. Jacob was again grateful that he had turned down the position. James was a better captain than he ever would have been. 

“It’s okay, man. It happens. Get her to come to more practices. You’ll get used to her being there, and you’ll get over it. She’s going to come to games right?” 

“Probably,” Jacob smiled. He’d love to have Seth cheering him on during a game. The rest of the team groaned. 

“Well, then she’s gotta come to practice!” James announced. “We practice with the same conditions we play, right? No surprises. Take your weakness and make it your strength, Jake. Okay?”  

Jacob sat up with relief. “Okay,” he said and nodded to James. 

The whole room seemed to relax around him as the rest of the team went through their end-of-practice routine. 

Jacob cooled himself off with a shower before changing and leaving. 

Sarah and Seth were waiting for him outside of the locker room.

“Yaaay! Good job out there!” Sarah put her arms around Jacob’s neck and kissed him sweetly. Jacob glanced at Seth and pulled away from the kiss, putting one arm around Sarah to compensate for his coldness. 

“Thanks,” he said.

“Okay, well, I’m going to head home. I know you guys have work to do.” Sarah released her hold on Jacob and headed for the main door. “It was really fun hanging out today, Seth. Bye guys!”

Jacob was suddenly left alone with Seth in the gym lobby. 

“Well… should we walk to my house?” Seth asked.