It's been three years since the death of my husband, Anthony Rhone. I found out that married me without my knowledge, to enjoy that I was ok, and probably if he was alive today I— I would have... Kissed him more, hug him longer, what if he did live? Why did he have to die? I miss him, I miss him every single day, it's been so long but to me, it's like yesterday, the wound was still fresh, no matter how many times I peel the band aid back just to check because I will never accept it, my husband lives forever, I carried him around in my heart.

Jace on the other survived, lucky bastard, I thought, he did get away without a serious injury but at least he is alive, I can tell every day that he is grateful.

I sat in my backyard while lily and her grandparents played, yes grandparents. After Anthony's funeral I discovered, I was pregnant. And even though everyone looked at me with scorn for keeping the baby, I'm glad I did.

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