Chapter 7

Tagaytay

“So, special friend, huh?” Kapapasok pa lang ni Heather ng bahay nang harangin siya ng kapatid at nanunuyang nagtanong.  

“I don't have time to argue with you, Ate,” pagod niyang wika saka nagtungo sa kuwarto.

Hinagis niya ang bag sa kama saka pabagsak na nahiga roon. Kumuha siya ng isang unan at itinakip sa mukha niya. Doon niya isinigaw ang lahat ng sakit at galit na nararamdaman.

It hurts. It hurts so damn much. Pero magkagayon man, hindi sumagi sa isipan niya ang hiwalayan ang kasintahan. Masyado niya itong mahal to the point na kaya niyang tiisin ang lahat ng sakit.

“Kung makaiyak ka riyan, akala mo naman katapusan na ng mundo. Relax, special friend pa lang naman si Cali eh,” nanunuyang sabi ni Driana na nakapasok ng kwarto ni Heather nang 'di namamalayan ng huli.

“Ate, puwede ba? I told you, wala akong oras para makipag-away sa 'yo,” mariin niyang sabi. Heather was aware of herself. Alam niyang masyado siyang puno ng galit at sakit ngayon at natatakot siyang baka maibunton niya sa kapatid ang lahat ng hinanakit gaya noon.

“Oh, and you have time to cry?” Umirap si Driana. “Huwag ka ngang OA. Oo nga't nag-I love you siya, pero as a friend lang naman daw. Kumalma ka muna.” She smirked. Hindi na napigilan ni Heather at hinagis niya kay Driana ang unan sa gilid niya. Kaagad naman itong nakaiwas. It's the first time she heard her sister chuckle and she should be happy pero sadyang wala talaga sa tamang timing ang pagtawa niya. And she's laughing because of my misery! “Fix yourself, Heather. You look like a freaking zombie,” sabi niya saka lumabas ng kwarto.

Sinunod ni Heather ang sinabi ng ate. Pagkatapos ay nagpasya siyang tawagan si Aidan para magkaalaman na. Hindi naman pupwedeng manatili na lang siya sa kuwarto at magmukmok. She has to hear his explanation.

Malinaw sa isip ni Heather na nagtitiwala siya sa kasintahan. Pinaniniwalaan niya iyon. Ngunit masyado lang talaga siyang selosa pagdating kay Cali. Maliban sa kapatid na babae ni Aidan at sa kaniya, si Cali lang ang babaeng sobrang malapit rito. And any girl in her position would be threatened by her presence. It’s not just their closeness as workmates, it’s also Cali’s traits.

Heather may look like an innocent angel but she knows for herself that she ain’t no angel. She’s having a hard time controlling her emotions. When she was young, she was diagnosed with Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Madalas siyang “sumabog” dahil sa maliit na dahilan o ‘di kaya minsan ay wala pang dahilan. Minsanan niya nang naisip na baka isa ito sa mga dahilan kung bakit pinamigay siya ng ina sa kanyang Daddy. She knew she was a handful before, ‘till now actually.

Hirap na hirap siyang magpigil ng galit. But thanks to her sessions monthly, she’s getting better and better. Pero may mga panahon pa rin na hindi niya makontrol ang sarili kaya naman ay nag-iingat siya.

She’s been trying to call him four times pero ayaw nitong sagutin. Hindi naman cannot be reached ang phone at hindi niya rin binababa ang tawag. Sadyang hinahayaan lang nito na mag-ring nang mag-ring. Heather threw her phone on the bed. He's avoiding my calls. O baka naman busy lang talaga siya?

“Argh!” When it comes to Aidan, she always contradicts herself. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang papaniwalaan o hindi.

May parte ng isip niya na nagsasabing baka totoo ngang mahal ni Aidan si Calista. But there's also a part of her saying that maybe it's just scripted. At hindi niya naman narinig ng buo ang sinabi ni Aidan dahil nag-walk out siya sa sobrang nag-uumapaw na emosyon.

But that doesn't give justice on why he's not answering her calls! Halos mabaliw na siya rito kakaisip kung ano ba 'yong napanood niya kanina. He should know that. Pero anong ginawa niya? Ayaw niyang sagutin ang tawag ko.

Heather messed her own hair and stared at nothing. She suddenly feel suffocated. 'Di siya makahinga ng maayos sa sobrang sama ng loob. Her room is wide and spacious but it felt small all of a sudden. Bumangon siya at lumabas ng kwarto.

Palihim na nagpasalamat si Heather nang malamang wala ang kaniyang Mommy. Sila lang ni Driana ang nasa bahay, maliban sa mga katulong. Surely, kung ano-ano na naman ang sasabihin ni Driana pero mas okay na 'yon kaysa dalawa sila ng Mommy nila.

After dinner, sinubukan niya ulit na tawagan si Aidan. Hindi makakatulog si Heather hangga't 'di niya malalaman at maririnig ang eksplanasyon ng kasintahan. Kasi kapag 'di niya maririnig 'yon, baka mabaliw na siya sa kakaisip kung mahal nga ba talaga ni Aidan si Calista o hindi.

The number you have dialed is out of coverage area. Please try again later.

Kung kanina ayaw niyang sagutin, ngayon naman cannot be reached ang phone niya. Ano ba'ng nangyayari?

Nahiga siya sa kama at tumitig sa kisame. Come to think of it, these past few months, medyo nanlalamig na si Aidan sa kaniya. Nabawasan ang pagiging sweet niya. He became more mindful of his image to the point na mas pinipili niyang huwag na lang muna makipagkita sa kaniya. Madalas ding cannot be reached and phone niya. Heather can't remember the last time they went on a date. They also never had a long serious talk these past few months.

It's like he's slowly loosening his grip on me.

Naputol ang malalim na pag-iisip ni Heather nang tumunog ang cellphone niya. She immediately answered the call when she saw Aidan's name on the screen.

Huminga siya ng malalim bago seryosong nagsalita. “Aidan.”

“Heather, sino ‘yung lalaking kasama mo kanina?” Diretsahang tanong nito nang masagot ni Heather ang tawag. Nagsalubong ang kilay ni Heather nang mapansing parang galit siya.

“Wait. Galit ka ba?” tanong niya kay Aidan.

She heard him sigh. “I'm not angry. Gusto ko lang malaman kung sino iyong lalaking kasama mo kanina.”

“That's my friend, Primo,” sagot niya. He let out a frustrated laugh.

“Nananadya ka ba?”

“Ano?” medyo tumaas ang boses ni Heather.

“Sa dinami-rami ng puwede mong kaibiganin, lalaki pa talaga?” Mas lalong uminit ang ulo ni Heather sa sinabi niya.

“Sorry. Kailangan ba babae? Or maybe you have a certain pick? Sino? Si Calista? You want us to be friends para 'di ka mahirapan? So that we'll be in good terms at hindi ka namin pag-agawan? Para 'di namin mamalayan na magka-hati kami sa pagmamahal mo?”

“Wha-What are you talking about? Papa’no napasok si Cali sa usapan?”

“’Wag ka ng magmaang-maangan pa, Aidan! Nandoon ako! I heard ever single word you said. You said you always tell her that you love her—“

“As a friend!” giit nito. “I always tell her that I love her as a friend.”

“No one says I love you to a friend, Aidan.”

Aidan was so pissed because he’s thinking that Heather was being unreasonable. Again. “Bakit? What do you know about friendship?” he said without thinking. Nalaglag ang panga ni Heather sa kaniyang sinabi.

Did he really just said that to me?

Aidan on the other hand was so shocked at what came out from his mouth. He suddenly regretted saying those words to Heather. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—“

“Tama ka. Ano nga ba ang alam ko sa pagkakaibigan, eh wala naman ako masyadong kaibigan?” Pagak siyang tumawa. Heather felt a heavy weight her stomach. She was embarrassed, pained, and baffled at the same time. “But even though I only have a few friends, alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ko sila sasabihan ng I love you lagi't lagi. I will, sometimes. Pero hindi araw-araw gaya mo. Sa ginagawa mong iyan, you might give someone false hopes.”

“Heather. . .”

“And don't tell me to stay away from Primo. You asked me to look for a friend and now, I finally have one. Siya ang karamay ko kanina nang 'di ko na nakayanan ang sakit na dulot ng mga pinagsasasabi mo sa TV Show. He let me cry on his shoulder without asking anything and he's a good friend because of that. Hindi naman kita pinipilit na layuan si Calista kaya huwag mo akong piliting layuan si Primo,” she said in a cold tone before hanging up.

Galit niyang pinatay ang ilaw ng kwarto bago nahiga sa kama. Akmang papatayin na ni Heather ang lampshade nang tumunog ulit ang phone niya. This time, it's a message.

From: Boyfie💖

I know what I said was below the belt. I'm so sorry, baby. Nadala lang ako ng emosyon ko. Forgive me?

Heather rolled her eyes and tuck herself into bed. Tumunog ulit ang cellphone.

From: Boyfie💖

Eto 'yung buong video nang sinagot ko ang tanong ni Laura. Watch it and maybe, you'd understand? Not that I'm blaming you, Heather. Naiintindihan ko kung saan ka nanggagaling even though sometimes my mind believes you’re unreasonable. Gusto kitang intindihin ng buong-buo. It wouldn’t be so hard to do the same, right? I just want you to understand my perspective.

Together with it is a link to a video. Heather doesn't want to watch it pero kusa na lang gumalaw ang daliri niya para pindutin iyon. It suddenly brought her back at that moment where I was watching them, in person.

“Aidan, who is Cali in your life. Anong posisyon niya sa buhay mo. Is she a friend? Or more than that?”

He licked his lips before answering. "Cali, she's. . .a very special friend." He glanced at Cali.

“Paanong special?”

“Special to the point that all I care about is her happiness. Ayaw kong nalulungkot siya. Gusto ko palagi siyang nakangiti kasi kapag malungkot siya, malulungkot din ako. I want her to be happy all the time and I want to protect her happiness. I could do anything just to make her happy. That's how important she is to me. Her happiness is my happiness as well.”

“Are you saying that you love her?”

“I always tell her that I love her—" This was the part where she walked out. “—as a friend.” Naririnig ang pagkadismaya ng mga audience sa background.

Aidan smiled softly. “In our world full of hate, there's only a small room left for love. Maraming taong kinakain ng galit at frustration. Especially in our kind of work. Maraming napapabalitang mga artista na nagsa-suffer sa depression at anxiety. And one of the reason kung bakit sila nagkakaganoon ay dahil pakiramdam nila, walang nagmamahal sa kanila. Pakiramdam nila, lahat ng ginagawa nila ay hindi na dahil sa kagustuhan nila kundi dahil isa na itong obligasyon. And I don't want Cali, or any of my showbiz friends to feel that. Importante sa panahon ngayon ang pagmamahal. Kahit kaibigan mo lang siya, deserve niya pa ring makaramdam at makarinig ng pagmamahal mula sa 'yo in order to fight this toxic world that keeps on swallowing us whole.” The video ended.

Heather closed the phone and put it on the bedside table.

Okay, she gets his point and she understands. That's very sweet of him, yes. But her mind is clouded with jealousy right now kaya hindi siya makapag-isip ng tama.

And besides, she has a lot of things to do in the morning. Iba na ngayon, may trabaho na siya. At iyon na dapat ang pinagtutuunan niya ng pansin.

Morning came and Heather needed to get ready. She’s got her semi-formal clothes with her and some shoes. Mabilis siyang nagbihis at bumaba para kumain.

Kumunot ang noo niya nang mapansing wala ni isang tao sa hapag.

“Yaya, nasaan sina Ate?” tanong ni Heather sa maid na pinaghahandaan siya ng pagkain.

“Kaaalis lang po ni Ma'am Driana kasama ang Mommy niyo. Sumunod po yata kay Sir,” sagot nito.

Nagtatakang nagsalubong ang kilay ni Heather. “Sumunod? Bakit, nasaan ba si Daddy?”

“’Di ko po sigurado Ma'am eh. Pero sa pagkakarinig ko po kanina kila Madam, pupunta raw po sila ni Ma'am Driana sa Tagaytay.”

Her brows shot up. Tagaytay? It's nine in the morning and they're going to Tagaytay? Nagkibit-balikat na lang siya at nagpatuloy sa pagkain, thinking that what they’re gonna do there is nothing very important.