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Chapter One

Fate has been cruel for me. For the past seventeen years of living my life, I am still not yet at the end of the maze they build for me. I am in the middle of getting lost and don’t know what to do. If I should continue to move forward to find the end, or should I just stay where I am until someone finds me. 

“Madame, It’s your break already. We can go back after one hour,” the instructor told me. 

“Ok. Thanks,” I simply stated and turned my back at her and went out. 

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes. This is so tiring. After so many years of practicing these basic rules, here I am today, facing another stormin my life. 

Sauladong-saulado ko na lahat ng basic rules na dapat gawin ng isang marangyang pamilya. Pero ngayon nandito pa rin ako hinaharap ito dahil lang sa kagustuhan na gusto lahat ay perpekto. 

Sa labing pitong taon kong pamumuhay sa mundong ito ay wala akong ibang ginawa kun’di sundin ang lahat ng utos at lahat ng gusto ng tanging ina ko sa akin. Nang maliit pa ako ay palagi niyang sinasabi sa akin na ito ay para sa aking kinabukasan. Na ginagawa niya ito hindi para sa sarili niya kun’di para sa akin. 

Of course, I was a child. I never understand anything how life works. Kaya simula noon ay palagi ko siyang sinusunod. Palagi akong nakabuntot sa kaniya inoobserbaran ang bawat galaw. 

Not until I woke up one day realizing that I have been chasing the wrong way. The road I am taking was wrong in my eyes, but right in her eyes and the people around me. 

“Hindi ba kayo napapagod kakasunod sa akin?” tanong ko sa dalawang kasambahay at sa tatlong body guard na nakasunod sa akin isang pulgada ang layo sa akin. 

“Kailangan ka po naming bantayan, Madame. Iyon po ang bilin ng Mommy niyo sa amin,” nakayuko at sabay-sabay na saad nila sa akin. 

The bodyguard behind us was standing so firmly. Hindi gumagalaw kung hindi sila tatawagin. Mariin ko silang tinitigan tinatantya kung hanggang saan ang makakaya nila ng napaisip ako na hindi pala basta-basta ang body guard na kinukuha ng aking ina. 

They were all trained. 

“Tsk. Nandito lang naman ako sa bahay at hindi naman ako mawawala. Hindi niyo na ako kailangang bantayan. Bumalik na lang kayo roon sa loob at magpahinga.” 

Hindi pa rin nila inaangat ang kanilang tingin sa akin at nakayuko pa rin hanggang ngayon. “You can lift your head you know. You don’t need to be formal in front of me,” I said to them. 

Napangiti ako ng sinusunod nila ako ngunit hindi rin iyon nagtagal nang sinagot nila ako. “Mahigpit po na bilin sa amin na samahan kayo kahit saan, Madame. Baka masisante po kami kapag nalaman ng Mommy niyo na hindi kami sumunod sa utos niya.” 

“Hindi niya iyon malalaman kasi wala siya dito sa mansion ngayon at hindi ko naman kayo isusumbong. Just let me breathe alone for a while. Bumalik na kayo at hintayin niyo lang ako. Hinding-hindi ko kayo tatakasan,” pagsusumano ko sa kanila. 

Nag alinlangan silang nagtinginan sa isa’t isa hindi malaman kung susundin ako o susundin ang utos ng aking ina. Ngunit sa huli ay nanaig pa rin ang kagustuhan ko. 

“Sige po, Madame pero siguraduhin niyo po na babalik kayo agad,” sabi ng mas nakakatanda sa kanila. 

“I will. Don’t worry,” I assured them. 

Hindi rin nagtagal ay bumalik na nga sila sa loob. Kasama ang dalawang body guard na nakabantay sa akin. 

Kahit sa isang pagkakataon ay gusto kong huminga mag-isa. Na walang taong nakabantay sa bawat galaw ko. 

For once, I wanted to be free from all of these. Living my life wasn’t easy as it seems. 

Lahat ng bawat galaw ko ay minamanmanan at pinupuna kapag may nakikikitang maliliit na mali. Hindi nasusunod ang kung anong kagustuhan ko at mas nananaig ang kagustuhan nila ng dahil sa tingin nila ay ito ang tama. 

My freedom as a human being was taken away from me from the day I was born. Freedom wasn’t in my vocabulary anymore as I am deemed to follow what this family has. 

At kahit kailan ay hinding hindi ko na makakamit ang kalayaan na hinahangad ko dahil sa mabibigat na responsibilidad na nakaantay sa akin pagdating ng panahon. 

Namulat ako sa katotohanang hindi ako nabubuhay para sa sarili ko kun’di ay nabubuhay ako para sa responsibilidad na aakuin ko. 

“I miss you, Lovey!” Agad kong hinagkan ang isang bagay na nagpapasaya sa akin. Isang bagay na naging sandigan ko sa tuwing gustong-gusto ko nang sumuko. 

Hinagkan niya rin ako at dinilaan ang aking mukha. I embrace her thick fur and smells her. She then waged her tail at me, giving me cute puppy eyes. 

Lovey is a dog. My one and only best friend in this world. Kahit na isang hayop lang siya ay siya lahat ang nakakaalam ng lahat ng mga hinaing ko sa buhay. Siya lahat ang nakakaalam ng mga sekreto ko. 

And seeing her always makes me happy. Kahit sa isang aso na lang ako makakaramdam ng kasiyahan. I don’t have any friends that I can consider my most trusted friends outside of this house.

Considering the status of my life, people were afraid of going out nor spending much time with me for the shallow reason that I am no match in their lives. 

Bearing this title as Princess, the only heir of the Costas business, was so tiring that people won’t even dare to speak up to me as they think I am highest among the highest. 

That I should be respected because of my status and not as a human being. 

Walang gustong makipagkaibigan sa akin dahil isa akong mayaman. Parang kinakatakutan nila ako dahil mayaman ang pamilya namin at kunting pagkakamali lang ay alam nilang wala na silang kalaban laban. 

They see us as the higher-ups that need to be treated respectfully. At ang respeto na binibigay nila ay hindi na kusang binibigay kun’di ay isang responsibildad. At ang malapit sa amin ay isa ng kasalanan. 

“You don’t need friends. You’re above all, Mavi. You shouldn’t beg for that. Keep your head up high and be proud. Sa mundong kinagagalawan mo hindi mo kailangan ng kaibigan dahil lahat ng tao ay nirerespeto ka na.”

I tried telling this to my mother one time, but that was all she said. 

It sucks. It sucks to live with this kind of life. It sucks that I need to live my life like this. No one can understand how suffocating my world is. 

I sometimes wonder. What is the feeling of true happiness? What if I get to live a normal life like them? Which I get to enjoy every day of my life without worrying about what will happen next, without being scolded for the mistakes that I made, and of course without the bodyguards that follow me all around. 

How does it feel like to live freely? Without thinking about the burden, and just let the wind be the guide of your life. 

Kung may isang tanging hiling ako na gusto kong matupad ay iyong mamuhay ng simple. Na hindi ako kinokontrol sa lahat ng bagay at hawak ko ang sariling buhay. 

I never wish for it. I never want to live like this. Kung pwede lang makipagpalitan sa iba ay ginawa ko na. 

“You should do this, Mavi. Keep your head chin up and your back straight. Don't slouch because the princess doesn't slouch. You must be proud while walking on the grand entrance for your 18th birthday."

“You should do this, Mavi. Keep your head chin up and your back straight. Don't slouch because the princess doesn't slouch. You must be proud while walking on the grand entrance for your 18th birthday."

My instructor was guiding me. Being careful of what she will teach me. Afraid that one mistake, my mother will fire her ruthlessly. 

Another day, another dawn to deal with. Kahit na pabalik-balik ang lahat ng ginagawa ko ay wala akong choice kun’di ang sundin ito. 

I was trained by this since I was a kid. I live my whole life following demands and orders from them. Kaya naman ay alam ko na ang ginagawa ko. Hindi na dapat ako tinuturuan ng ganito because it's one of the basic rules of being born as an elite.

But my perfectionist mother doesn't want to see any mistake during my debut grand celebration. Kaya kahit na alam ko naman kung ano ang mga dapat kong gawin ay mas pinili niya pa ring ipagawa sa akin.

 “Can we call it a day? I am tired from today’s session. I just wanna rest,” I said to my instructor. 

Walang pagdadalawang isip akong umalis sa loob ng silid na iyon at tumungo sa isa sa mga paboritong kong lugar sa mansion na ito. Ang tanging lugar na nagbibigay ng kulay sa madilim kong mundo. 

The garden in this mansion is so refreshing in the eyes. Iba’t ibang klase na makukulay na mga bulaklak ang nakahilera at maayos ang pagkaka landscape dito. At bago pa man ako tuluyang makapasok sa loob ay may madadaanan ko pa ang isang malaking fountain sa gitna na kahit kailan man ay hindi ko nakitaan na nawalan ng tubig. 

It sparks during the night time giving the house glam and lights. 

Mabuti pa ang bahay umiilaw ang buhay ko kahit kailan ay hindi nagkaroon ng ilaw.

It’s always dark and dull. No matter how I seek the sun to come and save me from the darkness, it won’t come to me. 

Pagdating ko sa garden ay agad akong nagtungo sa nagkukumpulang mga puting daisy na bulalak. I slid my fingers on them and feel them as if they can see my heart inside.

 I love daisy flowers because of their beautiful meaning— innocence and purity. It also symbolizes a new beginning. A new beginning brings hope. I love how innocent it is inside and out. That watching these flowers bloom in its season brings hope to me. 

Pumitas ako ng isa at nilagay ito sa tainga ko. I love how these flowers ignite something inside me whenever I see them. 

Napatalon ako sa gulat ng may bigla akong narinig na tumikhim. Agad kong hinanap ang pinanggalingan ng tikhim na iyon. At nang mahagip ko na siya ay bigla na siyang nakatayo sa harapan ko na may halong ngiti sa labi na abot sa kaniyang mga mata.  

“I can see you that you love daisy flowers,” his hoarse voice escaped from my ears. 

“Who are you?” I asked, creasing my forehead. 

I gawked my eyes at him from head to toe. He’s wearing an army green plain t-shirt that fits his not-so-bulky body, a brown apron, and simple khaki underneath. He has a big scissor which was made for cutting flowers or any other stuff that can be seen in the garden. 

His sweats were dripping from his forehead down to his body which makes his upper chest part wet. He has long hair, which I guessed because he tied his hair like a girl— a ponty tail type, but no the extent that it is so long. It’s enough for his long hair to be tied. 

His face is new to me. Hindi man ako palaging lumalabas ng bahay ay alam ko pa rin ang mukha ng mga tauhan namin. 

Pagkatapos ko siyang obserbaran ay agad na dumako ang mata ko sa kaniyang mga mata and for a moment. I find his eyes comforting, like telling me that if you stare at him, you’ll be home. 

He has a deep-set of brown eyes that perfectly match his facial features. His eyes were smiling while looking at me, the reason why I stared at him for so long. 

I just couldn’t tear my eyes off of him, because for some reason, I find solace throu

His eyes were igniting me to come home. Home in which I don’t know nor feel anymore. 

But through his eyes, I feel like I’ve been home. Hindi ko pa sana iaalis ang tingin ko sa kaniya kung hindi lang siya tumikhim marahil ay nahuli akong matagal na nakatingin sa kaniyang mga mata. 

“I’m the new gardener in your mansion, Princess Maville.”

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