There was a continuous sound on O'Connell's window, as if someone was throwing a gravel to hit it. He wondered if it was a dream, or it was just that he was hearing things. But then, the sound was non-stop.
He flicked his eyes opened lazily, and then stared at the clock hung on the wall. It wasn't even evening yet, and he had closed his eyes to nap after contemplating if he had done the wrong thing by writing a love letter to his own gender. When he was only nine. He wondered how his parents would feel if they could by any means, find out that he wrote a letter to a boy. Their neighbor's first son.
Worst, him developing feelings for a the boy.
O'Connell would get scold, he knew. And told that he was too young. And not supposed to like someone from his own gender, but a girl. His mom would caution him, because he was the only child, spank him, and then pray over the situation. Marguerite could be very religious most times.
Age 15O'Connell merged into the crowd of students who were heading to their supposed classes, his backpack slung over his shoulder, as he offered smiles to anyone who was looking at him and began advancing towards his locker. Feeling good to be at school again, after the long vacation of three months. He had a feeling that school was going to be great.It was the first day of his senior year. And his last year of school. O'Connell could feel his smile huge on his face. Because he would move out of Lagos, so he could start his dream tertiary institute. He couldn't wait to get over with senior year already. But Maths was giving him a hard time. He hoped he could get a C in the West African Examination Council, so he could get to go to his dream institution. Despite being taught countless of times, and having his dad get him a private Maths tutor, O'Connell was still so bad at it. It was just like, he was born to suck at Maths. And he
Jeremy was very young at that time. And didn't know what to do. Couldn't make decisions for himself. All he did at that time was to please his parents and friends. He didn't want people to know that he was gay, interested in boys. He didn't know that it wasn't a wrong thing to follow one's heart, and not please people. He thought he was doing himself good, by pleasing everyone at that time. Little did he know he was going to regret his actions someday. Was going to wish he could turn back the hands of time, and undo alot of things. Take back the words he had said.Jeremy could still remember that day, how he had made the boy cry. Though he felt bad over it, but thought it was the right thing he was doing. He felt his friends would be proud, and he laugh when he told them about how he had rejected O'Connell's love, after reading the letter he had wrote him. Because O'Connell was very fat, and put on weird clothings. Plus no one liked him, it was just pity h
O'Connell decided to let these thoughts slide, because he knew the bell for first period would be rang to notify the students to hurry into their classes.He returned his eyes back to Jeremy, just in time to see Jeremy staring at him intensively. Even pleading with his eyes. Jeremy looked so sorry to him that he almost pitied him right at that moment.O'Connell flirted a little with a girl that came to talk to him, by letting her play with his tie. He did this, because he wanted Jeremy to think he was interested in girls. Because the same Jeremy had mocked him for being gay.O'Connell swallowed back laughter, when the girl pressed a kiss to his cheek. Though he had mastered the art of flirting with girls, even knew when to feign emotions, but that didn't mean he was interested in them. He had tried to be close to them, to see if they could attract him, and maybe, just maybe he wasn't gay. But it didn't work.
O'Connell on the other hand was extremely uncomfortable, he acted bold and smart, but with Jeremy behind his back, he couldn't think straight. He still had a crush on Jeremy, despite how Jeremy had hurt him. But he knew there was no way, he was going to have anything to do with him. Jeremy was the boy who had rejected him. And having been he hadn't moved out to change, nothing would have changed. He would have been the fat, ugly, unloved boy who no one wanted. The boy who got rejected by him. O'Connell knew all of these, that was why he chose to leave.Staying with his mom wasn't easy for him. Marguerite was somewhat strict. Unlike his uncle Tosin and grandpa. O'Connell had to watch his weight, by eating less food. Something which was just twice in a day. In the morning, and evening. At first it was hard to stick to this new rule, he had wanted to burst into tears because he was finding it difficult to adapt to this new rule. But the looks he had received at his new sch
O'Connell looked at Jeremy for sometime, then started recalling how he had developed a crush on him on his first day of kindergarten, when Jeremy had offered him his own milk, because his got spilled. Over the years, Jeremy had been quite acquainted with him, saved him from bullying. Something which generated his feelings for him. And at the end, Jeremy had hurt him.He could never forget his screams of hurt. How he had forced himself to vomit, to reduce the fat in him. How he had held his breath and stared at his mirror, hoping he could reduce a little in weight. But he had only looked like a balloon that was inflating at each timid tick of the clock. He had cried so hard, starved himself the first few days, after Jeremy had rejected him. And deprived himself off personal hygiene. He didn't even go to school, until he went to live with his mom."Dude, move the fuck out of my way." O'Connell raised his voice, hoping Jeremy would fina
"Just stop. Stop okay? You pushed me away, six years ago." O'Connell reminded Jeremy, with his heart pounding with full force in his chest. He couldn't believe Jeremy just said he was inlove with him. And he didn't know why he felt excited, relieved and disappointed all together.O'Connell had longed for this six years ago. His nine years old self, had wanted Jeremy to tell him this. He knew he would have been over excited on that day, if Jeremy had told him he loved him. But it had to take six years, with he getting rejected by Jeremy, nights that were spent crying, starving and vomiting, and then gaining confidence, having the perfect body, and then moving back, it had taken all of these for Jeremy to realize that he loved him. And then he had summoned up the courage to tell him.What if he hadn't left? O'Connell wondered. What if he had gone to school on that Monday, after getting rejected by Jeremy on the Saturday evening. He felt things wouldn't have changed. He f
What next Jeremy did surprised O'Connell, because Jeremy stretched forth his hand to O'Connell's hair, and O'Connell shifted backwards before Jeremy could touch his hair. Then he gave Jeremy a questioning look."I uh, was just trying to take dirt off your hair." Jeremy said, then blew out a big breath of frustration. It seemed he was already getting fed up with O'Connell's attitude towards him, but was still staying because maybe, just maybe he meant every word. O'Connell thought."I'm sorry, I don't like someone touching my hair." O'Connell said, and Jeremy knew O'Connell was lying. However, O'Connell asked Jeremy to still take the dirt off his hair. And watched Jeremy cautiously as attempted doing as he had instructed.Jeremy raised his hand up and then touched O'Connell's hair at first. Something which sent shivers down O'Connell's spine, and generated goosebumps on his every single pore.O'Connell took a hard dry gulp to be calm, because i
They became quite acquainted again. From meeting at grocery stores, to Jeremy joining O'Connell in the morning, when he went out for his morning run.It felt like they were getting to know themselves again, because Jeremy had changed alot to O'Connell. And O'Connell, almost everything about him had changed.They spent time talking in class, and then Jeremy would stand in front of O'Connell's locker to wait for him whenever school dismissed. Because he knew O'Connell was going to go get his books, before leaving.Most times, they would skip school, and Jeremy would take O'Connell on his bike to go have a picnic somewhere.Soon, they became the talk on the school, because they were stirring gossips and being called gays. But the duo cared less. People really wanted to know what was ongoing between them.Jeremy gave O'Connell his first kiss, when they were outside one night, looking stars. O'