"I still can't believe you did that," I said as we both entered the apartment. "If Elise finds out, you'll be wrapped in plastic, sitting in the supermarket with the rest of the pork chop!"
"Azra, I can't believe you're concerned about it. I practically stole my girl back in front of the said girl," she said. "I bet Clarice herself didn't even see it coming. You should be happy for me."
"And you still have the decency to come back," Elise said with her arms crossed over her chest. She looked at us in accusation. I froze in the hallway with wide eyes.
"What do you mean? It's my apartment, too," Karmen said and walked off to open the fridge. Elise stared at the back of her head. If she could use heat vision, she would have roasted Karmen on the spot by now.
Elise was invited to stay and have dinner with the executives and celebrities almost every night. Sometimes, we didn't even see her for a whole week. She would call to tell me she was in Barcelona or Mumbai doing a photoshoot. Sometimes, we didn't hear a word from her.Once, Karmen just lost it and jammed all Elise's clothes into her suitcase, zipped it up and left it out in the hallway. I wasn't there to stop her. I was in the café trying to find any job online. Then at one in the morning, Elise showed up, good-natured as ever, suitcases in hand."Sorry," she said and began to unpack.Karmen blew up. "Sorry?Sorry?We're almost homeless, and you're out there having a damn good time. Now, what are we supposed to do, go down to the street and s
Along the way to our apartment, I walked past a store with a mini popcorn machine on the display. It looked too adorable with all the red vintage color and wheels, and it was on sale. With the lovely popcorn maker, we could enjoy the fresh popcorn in minutes!The next thing I knew, I was carrying the popcorn machine home. In the back of my mind, the little voice told me this was why I was poor, but I tried not to pay too much attention to it.Karmen opened the door for me. She was in a towel, and her body glistened with water as if she'd just finished taking a shower."What's this?" she asked."Hmm...our groceries?" I said, feigning the obvious financial mistake I'd just made.
It was payday for both Karmen and Elise, and money animated apartment 2B like winds in the sails of a three-masted ship. It was mostly Elise's payment plus two weeks pay from Karmen, but it meant the end of $9.50 per person per week, and it seemed like a fortune.Since the cash was enormous, I didn't feel bad about spending two hours filling my basket with exactly the right foods according to theCooking for Dummies,which I bought, too. In fact, by the time I got all that stuff home, I realized I had missed another day of job hunting. Well, that could wait until tomorrow.I wanted to make a nice dinner for my best friends, seeing that they had been doing all the work. I figured I'd make some hamburgers. Then I settled on roast chicken for dinner. The cookbook said,'Nuke the chicken in the m
It was Wednesday, the slowest day of the week, still too far from the weekend. I was sitting in the Deli having lunch with Elise when Karmen burst in, wild-eyed. She stomped up to our booth and sat down so loudly I was fearful for her tailbone. None of us said anything, so she stood up again and bellowed, "Well, if you must know, I got fired!""I'm not surprised," Elise said and went on to sip her lemonade. I tried to be empathic."What happened?" I asked. Celie came and placed some ice in our drink."Good news," she said. "If you're fired, here have some ice for the burn.""Leave her alone!" I exploded. Karmen slumped down again, resting her head on top of her folded arms like grade-school girls do during detention.
Gourmet Week was a resounding success across the street. Suddenly, our seedy little neighborhood was the hottest spot in town, just as we'd envisioned in the summer. Cars, even a few limos, were double-parked on all the side streets, and customers lined up around the block to get into, not Celie's Deli, but Monica's, her business rival across the street.It was driving Celie crazy."I can't stand it! It's more than a person can bear!" Celie grumbled. "The mere mention of Gourmet Week makes me sick. That woman charges ten dollars for a lousy bowl of pumpkin soup. She charges twenty for two chicken wings and five just to walk in the door and listen to stupid music! She's a criminal! She should be put on the electric chair!"We ate all our meals in the deli, serving ourselves since Celie
I was prepared for life in the big city, but nothing can prepare a girl for anything like real life itself. In fantasy books, the warrior princess knows how much food she will take with her. What sort of monsters she will slay. Should she trust the witch or burn her? It seemed every moment of the journey she had to make a life-and-death decision, but at least, her life sounded more exciting than mine.On Friday, I went down to the deli to see if I could borrow some eggs from Celie for my first business launch."'Neither a borrower nor a lender be', Miss. Kononovich. Fifty cents per egg.""What? You charge higher than the supermarket," I said."They're organic," she replied with a shrug. "You don't plan to giv
Because I didn't have a potty mouth like the previous proprietor, the deli was fairly quiet the next day. Celie's apron was replaced by a small petal pink one. Elise bought it for me so that I didn't look like a burrito in Celie's. Fifteen minutes after the opening, destruction had found its way into the grill and was on fire. The Lovebirds and the Pole Dancer helped me put the flames out. It took some squealing and struggling and cursing before the fire stopped.I returned to my eggs, waffles, and pancakes. Some people had to wait a little longer than usual, but I made it through breakfast just fine. I told everyone that Celie was on vacation in the Caribbean, and the Jogging Grandma promised to spread the word around the building to back me up. I'm not usually a lair, but my conscience just couldn't handle telling them that I was the cause of her being hospitalized.
Karmen got fired from the publishing company. The charges were laziness and inappropriate dressing. In her defense, she said that the boss tried to hit on her multiple times and was pissed that she threatened to report him. Karmen was not one to succumb to patriarchal pressure in the workplace and could have won the lawsuit if she wanted. Not many people knew that she held a law degree, but she said she hated the job anyway, so she quit.Instead of throwing herself into the want ads, she put on the apron and came down to the deli with me."It did bring back the old days working for Celie," she said. "But now I work for you.""This is Celie's business we're running, and we're here because we put her in the hospital," I said. "I'm not the boss here, and you're not