"Depression is a prison where you are both the suffering prisoner and the cruel jailer" -- Dorothy Rowe
MY EYES were darted on the white wall. I couldn't speak a word, I don't know what to say either. The air conditioner of this room is off but I am shivering— in pain and anger.
How can he do this to me?How can THEY do this to me?
"For fcking sake, Alexis! Are you in drugs?!" Uncle Raul shouted at his son. I don't know where they are but I think they're outside of this room.
I hugged both of my knees and started thinking about what will happen next. What will my future be and what will my parents think about this.
I started crying. My parents. They wanted to give me a good life and little did they know here I am, thinking of cutting my wrist and ending this life.
I'm now useless.
After a moment, I heard foot steps walking towards my place. I looked up and it's Uncle Raul. He kneeled in front of me and held both of my arms.
"I'm sorry.." He started. Even though I'm just staring at him and don't speak a word, I know he knows that I am feeling this way.
I cannot say a word, yes. But my eyes are doing it for me. It just can't stop producing tears.
"U-uncle.." Was all I can say. He stared at me for a while before breathing deeply.
"I—" He stopped. I want him to help me. I want him to make Alexis suffer on what he did to me. I want him to promise me that he would do anything just to give justice in what happened to me— "I can't afford to lose another child.." — but I guess it will never happen— he will never help me.
He looked away. "I want you to promise me, Rami. That no one except you, Alex, the boys and I will know about what happened last night. Promise me." In pain, confusion and anger, I cried— again.
"You see, your Dad is running for the position of Mayor and your Mom is a well-known businesswoman. They will make a fuss if you tell them what happened. Media will know and that'll ruin their dreams and names."
My parents.. They worked hard to achieve what they have today. This life is what they dreamed to have.
"Are you gonna ruin their names, Rami? Kapag sinabi mo sakanila ang nangyari sayo kagabi, malalaman ito ng publiko at masisira ang mga pangalan nila— sasabihing pabaya silang magulang. Mawawasak lahat ng negosyong naipundar ng mga magulang mo at mas lalong gugulo lang ang sitwasyon. Do you want that to happen?"
Of course.. not.
"Kung ako sayo, I will just keep it a secret. You are still young and you'll eventually forget what happened. Trust me."
Huminga ako ng malalim.
"I- I won't tell.." I said while crying.
"Good girl. Now get dressed, fix yourself and pretend that nothing happened. I'll drive you home."
After Uncle Raul left. I am left dumbfounded and every single thing that happened sinked in.
I was raped..
I was raped by my cousin and his friends and I won't tell it to anyone because it'll ruin my parents reputation.
So even if it's painful, I'll keep it a secret just like what Uncle Raul wants to happen.
CHAPTER 1.RAMI's POV"Happy birthday, Rami!" Ingay ng mga bumati ang bumungad saakin pagpasok ko sa bahay. There, my other cousins and classmates are all present. I exhaustedly heaved a deep sigh.I looked at my mother exhaustedly while she, on the other hand, smiled at me in a timid manner and mouthed "Happy birthday."
CHAPTER 2RAMI's POV"Alam mo kung may problema ka, sabihin mo. Hindi yung ginugupit mo nang ganyan yang buhok mo." Iritang sabi ni Beatrice. Nang lingunin ko siya'y nakakunot ang kanyang noo."Yeah." Tanging sagot ko nalang."Nasa bahay niyo ako kahapon, you're not in your room. Did you celebrate your eighteenth birthday with your boyfriend?" Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Nanunukso ang mga ngiti niya, bagay na hindi ko gusto. "Speechless? Hmm. How was 'it'?" Mas lalong tumaas ang kilay ko. "Ano ka ba! Yung 'yun'. Diba sabi mo dati kapag eighteen ka na, ibibigay mo na 'yan' sa boyfriend mo-""- P
CHAPTER 3 RAMI'S POV After half an hour of driving, we have reached our destination. Dinala ko siya sa lugar na lagi kong pinupuntahan kapag sobrang gulo na ng utak ko. "Infairness, maganda rito." Tumatangong sabi niya. "Anong pangalan ng falls na 'to? Hindi familiar sakin eh." Nag umpisa akong tanggalin ang black shoes at high socks ko. Pagkatapos ay umupo ako sa malaking bato at ini-lublob ang mga paa sa tubig. "I don't know either." Ang tanging naging sagot ko. Totoo, hindi ko alam kung anong pangalan ng falls na 'to- kung meron man. Napadpad lang ako dito two years ago, nung hindi ko alam kung sinong tatakbuhan ko. This place has been my safe haven for the last two years. Kaya lang minsan, ayokong pumunta dito dahil medyo malayo at kaloob looban din ito ng gubat. Nakakatakot. "Paano mo nalaman 'tong lugar na 'to?