Chapter 4

It's been a few weeks since Sharky's date night, and Rob has finally found a new job. He's very excited about it. This job is perfect for him, he says. Rob is, of course, the absolute best at it, and they can already see this and are talking about moving him up. I keep the eye roll on the inside and agree that this will be perfect for him.

Something else about Rob is that he is always the best at everything, even when he's not. You agree and get on with it. No one else knows what he knows, and they're all a bunch of idiots. Rob starts to rant about the old boss and how stupid he was to let him get away, and I agree that that wasn't a smart move on his part while my eyeball twitches, but I get it under control.

Thankfully there's a game on, and Rob gets sucked into it. 

I take a blanket out to the small balcony and curl up in a chair to watch the small section of the gulf coast off in the distance. I love the smell of the ocean. It smells like home and memories of the coast of Myrtle Beach, of beach days with my friends and family. Days at the oceanfront arcade hanging as a teen and riding on the back of Brodie's motorcycle to the inlet. Boat rides down the waterway to spend the day partying on bird island. Brodie is in so many memories. We were always together, and everyone thought it would always be that way, including me.

I thought Brodie could do anything. He was good at everything he did. Chuck, Brodie's dad, was a jack of all trades, and he passed that knowledge down. Brodie could work on cars, boats, motorcycles, hang a ceiling fan, or install a washing machine. Hell, he could find that occasional bra underwire that came out and caused problems. Brodie was always helping someone with something and loved doing it; he never boasted about it or made it a big deal. We were always at someone's house so he could help them move, or fix an appliance, or work on a car. It would turn into grilling out or pizza and beer and a good time. 

 I remember how he would never drink when he was going to be driving, always responsible. He always looked after me, and that's why Wyatt didn't mind when his best friend ended up dating his twin sister. Brodie kicked the shit out of a drunk tourist one time. The guy had grabbed me and wouldn't let go —scaring me half to death.

Brodie was always a gentleman, never allowing me to carry things, and if we walked somewhere, he swiftly maneuvered so that he was on the side near the road. He said his grandma taught him that that was what a gentleman does. 

It just fit, like it was the most natural thing in the world when we stepped over the line of friendship into coupledom.

My family always loved him, they were friends with Brodie's family, and his family loved me. I thought my life was all laid out before me with hearts and flowers. I thought we would eventually marry and make a family, and Brodie would teach our children all the things he knew how to do, and we would have family beach days, boat days, and many many grill-outs, oyster roasts, pizza, and beer days with friends and neighbors. We would have Sunday dinners with the family, and our dads would embarrass us talking about all the baby-making we were doing. Brodie would have been a mechanic, and I would have been an interior designer or a party planner, or both. We were stupid kids that thought the world would never rock us. 

Life had other plans, first, we had been careless and I had gotten pregnant. Then I miscarried and then a month later Brodie's dad was hit head-on by a drunk driver on his way home from work, Chuck died instantly, and Brodie was so close to him. He was devastated.

He wouldn't let me be there for him and pushed me away; then he told me that he couldn't love me like I needed him to. He said for me to go on with my life, and then Brodie joined the military and split.

He's been home to visit his mom, but I always made sure I didn't run into him.  I made it a mission not to cross paths with him. Then I married Rob and moved away.

I wish I could say that I went on to follow my dreams and finish college, open my own business, plan events, and decorate homes and offices, but I didn't. Brodie left and I felt like all my dreams had died. I simply didn't care anymore. If I could go back and do it over I would. I shouldn't have let it stop me, should have womaned up and handled my business.

Instead, I dropped college and worked in restaurants and bars. When I wasn't working I was hanging in clubs and bars with my friends or taking off to concerts. I went a little, okay a lot crazy. Wyatt had to pull me out of situations a few times.

I guess I wanted to be so busy having fun that I wouldn't miss him. Thinking the gaping hole wouldn't be felt because I was constantly shoving something in it. It didn't work. Not for a long time anyway. I dated a few guys but it was like mozzarella sticks without the marinara. Who want's that? Then Rob came along and he was mozzarella sticks without the marinara but a tiny bit of Ranch. You know when you don't really have enough to double-dip as often as you like so it's still disappointing but a least every other few bites are really good. I didn't know at the time that he stole someone else's ranch and pretended that it was his but I had settled thinking I had still done okay. 

Wyatt and I lost our dad a few years after Chuck died. Dad had an aneurism. Brodie was on deployment at the time. Our moms are still close, my mom Cheryl and Ms.Patty are two peas in a pod, but mom has never mentioned Brodie to me. She tried to talk me out of marrying Rob, and at the time, I thought it was because she was still hoping Brodie would come to his senses. Now I'm not sure that's it; maybe mom and Wyatt saw what I didn't want to see. That Rob is a major douche canoe. Still,  I think it broke mom's heart a little when Brodie took off.   

The last I had heard, and admittedly that's been a few years back, Wyatt said Brodie had left the Navy and worked at some private security and investigations firm in Atlanta. He said Brodie learned some unique skills in the Navy, that he even became a Navy Seal. Wyatt didn't understand why he didn't stay in longer and make a career of it. I hear it's challenging work getting into the Seals, so I wonder about that also. Wyatt sensed that it was hard on me to talk about Brodie because he hasn't mentioned him since. 

I loved Brodie. I still love him and probably always will. He broke my heart and left me shattered, lost, but I'll always love him and wish the best for him. Even if I can't be around him. We grew up together, were close friends before we were a couple; more like family. I had tagged along behind him and Wyatt for as long as I could remember.  

I hear the sliding glass door open and Rob's voice, "Why the hell are you just sitting out here? Damn, you're so fucking strange sometimes. Come on, let's go to bed."

Controlling the urge to sigh forlornly or rattle off some sarcasm, I follow him back inside and prepare for bed. Rob insists that we go to bed together whenever he's not angry about something but recently he hasn't been home much at night. I don't know what he's doing and frankly, I don't care. I love him being gone a lot. 

I don't know why he insists on us going to bed at the same time when he is home like we are some happy couple that needs to go to bed together each night, I would gladly sleep on the couch, but there would be a tantrum and violence if I even suggested it. So the only time I sleep on the sofa is if he's punishing me for something. If the punishment were only the couch, I'd take it in a heartbeat. 

My phone rang at one in the morning. Nothing good ever comes from a phone ringing at one in the morning. 

"Who the hell is calling you this late?" I heard Rob but didn't pay him any attention. My phone display said Wyatt calling, so I answered with dread and my heart in my throat.