Nova
I sat on the bench outside my room with my collection of drinks to stick in the little refrigerator inside my room lying beside me and lit another cigarette. I was a complete mess. I wanted to call and make sure Brodie was looking out for my family, but I didn't want to listen to my family try to talk me into coming back home. This was Brodie, though, so I knew he would make sure they were safe.
I was pretty sure no one had followed me, or they would have caught me at a gas station when I stopped for gas, and I had been looking. Nothing suspicious jumped out at me. I was still scared, though. I didn't think I would be getting much, if any, sleep for a while. It was much easier to sleep when Brodie was right outside my bedroom door, taking up the entire couch. That had to have been uncomfortable. Now, thinking back on it, I knew why he did it. He knew about Rob. I sighed and put out my cigarette. I had thought I would give them up, but now isn't the time wi
Nova I woke up with a throbbing head, but the rest of my body was supremely comfortable. I opened my eyes slowly and focused on a massive muscular chest. I took stock and realized I was all over Brodie. He was sleeping on his back, and I was almost entirely draped over him. My arm stretched over his abdomen, holding him to me and my leg draped over his upper thighs. My head was partly in his armpit and partly on his chest. He had the arm under my head curled around me and his hand on my shoulder. That hand moved then and sifted through my hair. "Good morning sunshine," his voice was raspy with sleep. I groaned and tried to move off of him, but his arm tightened, and he brought the other one around to grab my thigh, halting me. "Stay, this is nice," he rasped low in my ear. My head hurt so bad that I didn't feel like tugging free, so I relaxed back into him. "Morning," I whispered and pushed my forehead int
“You’re my little supernova, Nova Jane. Never forget how bright you shine, and never let a boneheaded boy get under your skin and dim that light.” My daddy must have had the sight. He must have known that someday I’d make a choice, that led to choices, that led to my nova fading out to black. I wish I had taken his words to heart the first time. The first time I felt my light flicker, but I kept talking myself out of it. So now I don’t have a clue how to get out. So now here I sit, on the steps of our condo, while the boneheaded boy or man-boy sleeps peacefully as if nothing just happened and all is right in his world, which I suppose it is. I light another one of his cigarettes and count how many are left in the pack. There are only five now, and there were nine when I brought them out here. This has become a ritual for me. I secretly took up smoking after he falls asleep, and I know if he finds out, if he notices his cigarettes are missing, then he’ll
There are times in your life that you never forget. Times when you learn an important lesson but one you never wanted to learn. I could have gladly gone my whole life without some lessons I've learned. They aren't the type to make you grow and blossom in life. No, they are there to make you understand that some mistakes you never come back from. You'll never be innocent of. I've learned what it feels like to realize I cannot protect myself. I know how fragile I am and how fast someone can make me feel that. I've learned that someone can take away all control I have over my own life. But, I've also learned that I can be stuck there with no way out. The night I realized there was no way out was when Rob had thrown a glass vase at me, and it exploded off my wrist when I threw my arm up to deflect it. He was on a rant about something, and I can't even remember what it was anymore. There's always something, but I managed to get my phone and run out of the condo calling the
Sharky's with Doug and Melissa started ok. We ordered and had had some drinks and appetizers when the beer started working on my bladder, and there was no ignoring it anymore. I had to visit the ladies' room. Rob stood up to let me slide out of the booth, but I tripped over his foot when I stood up. It scuffed my shoe, and I said, "Shoot! I love these shoes."Rob looked down at my shoe and then looked at me with a mean look on his face, "Don't think that you're going to run out and buy a new pair tomorrow! You spend all of our money on clothes and shit while I work my ass off to keep a roof over our head. I can't even get your ass to go to work!"I stood there in shock. I don't know why I was shocked. I should know that nothing is across the line for Rob, but somehow I still get shocked. I could feel my face turning a bright red, and sweat broke out on my neck. I had not bought myself anything new in a little over a year, but this was Rob's way. Make everyone thi
It's been a few weeks since Sharky's date night, and Rob has finally found a new job. He's very excited about it. This job is perfect for him, he says. Rob is, of course, the absolute best at it, and they can already see this and are talking about moving him up. I keep the eye roll on the inside and agree that this will be perfect for him. Something else about Rob is that he is always the best at everything, even when he's not. You agree and get on with it. No one else knows what he knows, and they're all a bunch of idiots. Rob starts to rant about the old boss and how stupid he was to let him get away, and I agree that that wasn't a smart move on his part while my eyeball twitches, but I get it under control. Thankfully there's a game on, and Rob gets sucked into it. I take a blanket out to the small balcony and curl up in a chair to watch the small section of the gulf coast off in the distance. I love the smell of the ocean. It smells like home and me
Wyatt's voice telling me Grams had passed, still ringing in my ears, and all I could think about was getting to my mom. We were a tight-knit family, and mom and gram had been very close. I couldn't imagine losing my mom and what my mother must be going through right now. It's now three o'clock in the morning, and Rob is agitated and yelling because he says we don't have the money for me to take off of work and run to my family. So much for a bit of sympathy that I had just lost my Grams. My Grams was the shit. I loved the mess out of that lady, and knowing I'd never have another chat with her on the porch with a glass of her delicious sweet tea was tearing me up. Grams, conversations, and tea were life-changing. The woman had lived and learned, and she always had a wise piece of advice to impart. After arguing that I needed to be with my family and him getting angrier and angrier then lapsing into his condescending voice like I'm a child and I just don't
Brodie Seeing her after so many years was a shock to my system even though Wyatt had told me she was coming, and I knew she wouldn't be able to run and hide from me this time. I wasn't prepared for the enormity of the feelings it would stir up. We've got to have a talk and put it behind us, and that's going to happen before she leaves. We're family, and now that I'm living in the town, we need to hash it out, move on from the past. I'd fucked up. I knew it, but she's married now, and I can't turn back the wheels of time. Damn, she's still beautiful. She looks even better with age. She's twenty- eight now, and I'm thirty. It doesn't seem even seem possible. I walk out to her car with Wyatt to bring her bags in and see her purse and phone lying in the front passenger seat, so I open the driver's side and sit down to gather them up. I notice a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, and the car stinks of cigarettes. "Hey Wyatt, when d
I had climbed into bed with momma, and we talked in whispers about Grams; then I had made her a plate, and she ate a little bit. She perked up a little seeing me again after two years, and that made me feel guilty that I had not done this sooner. I should have just left like I did today and came to see my family. I put on a set of joggers and a shirt and blow-dried my hair. Spending so much time thinking and fantasizing about Brodie is vastly different than having him here and all up in my space. Also, sleeping under the same roof. Nothing for it but to barrel through it. So left my room to meet Mr. Bossy on the porch. Brodie was on the porch swing again and patted the space beside him when I walked out on the porch. I ignored it and sat in one of the chairs instead. He smiled and shook his head, then twisted the top off a beer and handed it to me. "How have you been?" he asked conversationally. "Great, and you?" Lies, I'd probably be tell