Dell threw her pen across Sebestian office, almost yanking her hair out as another wave of self-hatred reached her through her bestfriend bond with Sebestian. It had been the same for the last two days, a constant flow of anger, desperation, pain and self-loathing, over and over again, interspersed with short periods of numbness, a void of nothing where he clammed up and retreated into himself, trying to hide from it all.

She couldn't take any more of it. She was just about holding the station together. She had begged, cajoled, shouted and tried to bribe him into leaving his room, to come back to work and try and put it behind him, he wouldn't listen though. She jumped to her feet and stormed through the station, glaring at anyone who dared look at her, maybe it was time to order him to pull himself together, it was for his own good!

Sebestian stared up at the crystal chandelier hanging above the foot of his bed, counting, constantly counting. 972. The chandelier had 972 crystal drops. There were 8 different shapes to the crystals that hung from it, which was funny, he thought because the remaining matching table lamp on his nightstand only had 100 crystal drops and there were only 4 different shapes. Circle, square, rectangle, pear, then it repeated. Circle, square, rectangle, pear. The chandelier matched but it was different. The geometric pattern on his curtains was made up 1800 gold intersecting lines, or was it 1600? He couldn't remember. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.....

"It stinks in here," Dell said as she barged into Sebestian room. The sight of him buried in in the blankets and pillows in the middle of his bed, staring at the curtains and quietly muttering to himself almost broke her resolve, but she had to do something to snap him out of it, she needed him. He hadn't eaten anything since they had returned from Allen store he'd just holed himself up in his room and roared at anyone who had tried to approach, including her.

She stared at him, muttering away to himself through the void of nothingness that had consumed him. Was he counting? "When was the last time you had a wash Sebestian?" she asked, picking her way through his destroyed room and flinging his curtains open to let the fading afternoon sun in.

Dell flinched when she heard the low growl coming from the direction of his bed, she turned to see him squinting up at the chandelier, his eyes darting back and forth as he started muttering furiously again. She looked around at the destruction he had wrought, the broken lamps and furniture, the destroyed artwork and shredded pillows, the place was a wreck! It was almost as much of a wreck as her bestfriend.

"Sebestian, it's been two days. The entire station is going to shit" Dell said as she stared at her bestfriend, who completely ignored her. She turned on her heal and stormed into his bathroom, turning the shower on before pulling her wings out  on her right hip. She marched back into his bedroom and flung the covers back. Gripping the neck of his t-shirt she dragged him from the bed ignoring the snarl that ripped from him. She smirked when his feet couldn't find purchase on the slippery tiles as she dragged him into the bathroom, bodily shoving him into the shower.

"Dell!" Sebestian roared as the icy water cascaded over his head. He tried to scramble out of the shower, slipping on the tiled floor before she slammed her foot into his stomach, pinning him under the water. "LET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!" he roared when she wouldn't let up. He shuddered under the freezing cold water, clawing at her leg. All he could do was pull her under the water, glaring up at her when she grabbed hold of his chin.

"You are a leader, an ALPHA, not a sixteen-year-old human pining after her first crush" Dell roared at him as she gripped his face. It took everything she had not to back away at the snarl, that ripped from his mouth. She refused to shiver as the icy water poured over the both of them, locking her body down tight. Oh my God the water was cold!

"ALLEN IS NOT A CRUSH, HE'S MY MAT......." Sebestian snarled before reigning himself in when he saw the shocked look on her face before she shut it down.

"Get a wash and get dressed" she commanded him, pushing every ounce of Alpha she possessed into her tone before jumping out of the shower and slamming the door closed behind her. She stalked out of the bathroom, shuddering when she slammed the bathroom door behind her. She needed a drink or two, he was still thinking of Allen as his mate! she sighed as another shudder ran through her, she would have to settle for some dry clothes.

Sebestian shivered as he lunged for the temperature control on the shower, turning the hot water on before ripping the sodden t-shirt and boxers from his body. He sagged into the wall, slamming his eyes shut as everything crashed through him at once, everything that had happened, everything he had done. He despised himself for what he had done to his mat.... To the fairy. He shuddered again, unable to stop the tears as he sank to the floor and dropped his head into his hands. What kind of Alpha rejects his mate?

God above he missed him! The thought had his head snapping up. How could you miss someone you didn't even know? A bitter laugh burst from him at the thought. He had been missing Allen for the last ten years, he'd just never had a name or face to go with the ache in his stomach that was his absent mate.

He stood up, resigning himself to the fact that that gaping hole would never be filled. He clung to the pain that ripped through him with every other beat of his heart, savagely forcing himself to feel every ounce of it, it was what he deserved. He grabbed the soap and started to clean himself up, Dell had been right, he was a mess.


Dell barged back into the room, silently praying that her bestfriend was dressed, she really didn't need that visual. She smiled when she saw him sitting on the end of the bed pulling his boots on. "You still look like shit but at least you smell better" Dell said as she handed him a large mug of coffee and a grilled cheese sandwich.

"Sebestian you had better eat that, I cooked it myself and you know how much I hate cooking," she said, glaring down at him when he had tried to put the plate aside. "Have you even slept in the last two days?" she asked him, taking in the bags under his red-rimmed eyes, the slump of his shoulders and curvature of his spine. He looked like he had the weight of the world pressing down on him.

"I'm fine Dell," Sebestian said, taking a deep breath before he started shovelling down her heinous cooking, barely chewing it as he tried to get it down quickly before he had actually tasted any of it. His bestfriend was lethal in combat, she had the funniest jokes and best stories and she made a wicked cocktail that could put an alcoholic on his ass after three sips. Cooking, however, was NOT one of her many talents! He knew she would pin him down and force feed him if he didn't eat though so he inhaled it as fast as he could.

"We have a lot to discuss," Dell said as she opened the windows to air the room out before grabbing his empty plate with a smile, he never could resist her cooking! Maybe he would want seconds? She wondered. "Come on, we can get some more before I lay all the shit that has happened over the last few days on you," she said.

"NO..... no, I'm quite full Dell, thank you," Sebestian said quickly, jumping to his feet and swigging his coffee down as he avoided her eyes. "Come on, we can discuss it in my office," he said, leading her from the room. Sebestian ignored the curious looks he received on their way through the station, too busy thinking about Allen as they headed for his office. His shoulders sagged a little as Dell closed the door behind her.

"I've had to suspend eight Wolfs altogether," Dell said, dumping his empty plate on a shelf and slumping down into the chair in front of Sebestian desk. "We found some B-Grade Vampire fangs, werewolf fangs and claws, some weird vine/tentacle that looks as if it may have come from a fairy and a horrendous framed patch of green skin which the pathologist believes came from a fairy children," Dell said with a shiver. "We also found a large quantity of drug," she said, staring at the floor.

Sebestian head snapped up at the last statement she had made. He had barely been listening, too busy wondering what Allen was doing. The last sentence broke through the haze of misery clouding his head and had his gaze zeroing in on her though. "Dell..... Are you okay?" he asked her. He reached over the desk and gave her hand a quick squeeze when he saw the shake there.

"I'm fine," Dell said, avoiding his gaze "its fin..."

"Dell, remember who you're speaking to," Sebestian said, tugging on her hand until she looked up at him, he wasn't the only one that clammed up when it came to personal issues. "I was there Dell, both times, I remember what it was like," he said gently. He thought back to the day they had discovered her father's body, dead from a drug overdose, back at the station in Jakarta where they had grown up. They had both been twelve. Three weeks later they had found her mother's body, she had killed herself, devastated by the grief of losing her mate. Not even her child could keep her from taking her own life.

"I don't know which one of them I hate more" Dell said around the lump in her throat "him for being a bully and an addict or her for staying with him and choosing him after he was gone. All those years of beatings and drinking and the drug and she was still too weak to leave him, after everything he did to her, she still chose him over me" she whispered, angrily brushing the tears from her eyes.

"She loved him dot, he was her mate. Despite everything he did, she still loved him" Sebestian said as he took her hand again. "It wasn't weakness that killed her it was grief," he said. He wasn't even mated to Allen but the thought of something happening to him had his chest tightening and brought a sick feeling to his stomach.

"She was his Alpha!" Dell said, slamming her clenched fist down on the desk "she should have taken control of him, so what if he was an Omega, that didn't make him weak, his own insecurities did that. She never once gave him a command, not even to save herself from the beatings. Why? Why was she so weak?" Dell asked as she stared at Sebestian, the tears flowing down her cheeks unabated "having a mate makes you weak, you'll be better off on your ow...." she stopped short when she saw him recoil. "Sebestian I'm sorry," she said, hating herself for seeing that look on his face.

"The other day, when I commanded.... Allen to stop using his magic" Sebestian said, staring at an old ink stain on his desk "every time an Alpha growl burst from me, it was.... I felt.... Commanding your....mate to do something, its abhorrent Dell I hated myself for doing it. It's the worst thing an Alpha can do to their mate" Sebestian said with a shudder, it had felt wrong to use his Alpha tone on Allen. He had never understood why her mother had put up with her father all those years, never once stopping him, she had been an ALPHA yet she had let him get away with so much. He had not understood what it was like to do that to your Omega until he had done it himself.

"Maybe, when you find your own mate you will understand why she couldn't do it to him," Sebestian said "she couldn't take his free will from him," he said.

"I will never take a mate," Dell said, reaffirming the vow she had made to herself the day she had found her mother impaled on her own seraph blade. "Anyway, i have arranged for the transfer of the eight station members to the Gard. Jia has gotten a fairy from head city to work with her full time creating jails, there is even talk of him moving to other palce. It's a step in the right direction" she said, locking the bitterness down and shoving it away.

"There hasn't been a B-Grade living in the head city for two, three hundred years?" Sebestian said his eyebrows almost in his hairline "not since the ending of the last rules. A step in the right direction indeed" he said with a nod of approval. "It seems Jia being made leader was the right decision, she has improved our organization relations vastly since she took over. Who knows, there might even come a day when a new agreement is forged between us and the B-Grade" Sebestian said. He wondered what Allen would have to say about a B-Grade living in head city before banishing the thought as the hole in his stomach became just that bit more jagged.

"Yes, no thanks to you," Dell said with a proud smile. " You're the one who has forged agreement after agreement between station and b-Grade worldwide, don't be giving Jia all the credit. I have Sofia  under investigation, she was the one with the drug" she said when she saw his questioning look.

"When you say she was found with a large quantity, how large are we talking?" Sebestian asked, not really sure he wanted to know the answer.

"Enough to make me think that maybe she has a vampire or two stashed away somewhere," Dell said with a shudder "it won't bode well for us if she is keeping vampires hostage" she said, wondering if she should point out that they had never actually discussed anything with Allen  the other day. "I've also put together a list of people that I think are trustworthy or at least don't hate B-Grade as much as the rest of them" Dell said.

"Thank you, Dell," Sebestian said with a small smile "you've been such a massi...." he cut off when he heard a knock at the door. "Come in" he shouted. He stared expectantly at the man who entered, Swanson, he remembered.

"Sir, there is a B-Grade fairy at the front doors, she wants a meeting with you," Swanson said "they tried to turn her away but she insisted you would see her. She seems pretty..... angry" he said, looking for all the world as if that were an understatement.

"Send her in please Swanson, and in future, if any other B-Grade member request a meeting with me, please let it be known that they shouldn't be turned away. Thank you" Sebestian said. He didn't know if he was more surprised that he had been addressed as sir, the polite tone the man had spoken to him in or the fact that there was a fairy that wanted to meet with him. He couldn't help thinking of Allen when the man had said a B-Grade fairy was here to see him. He squashed down the hopeful feeling that was building in his chest, not allowing it to surface, he couldn't think like that! He jumped up when the door was almost kicked off its hinges.

"Where is he?" Rose demanded, with fire in her eyes, the second the Alpha had shown her to Sebestian office. "You had better tell me where he is right now or so help me I won't be responsible for my actions!" she snarled, staring as Sebestian jumped to his feet.

"Rose I don't know what you're talk..." Sebestian choked off when he felt himself picked up off his feet and slammed into the wall. He couldn't move a muscle as she pinned him there, the fury etched on her face was something to behold.

Rose didn't even flinch when a dagger shot past her face, missing her cheek by inches. She smirked when her gaze landed on Dell. "Missed," she said when she heard it thunk into the wood of the door behind her as she kept Sebestian pinned to the wall.

"Oh, believe me i never miss" Dell said with a smirk from her chair as she yanked another dagger from her thigh holster " I suggest you release my friend before the next one lands in the middle of your pretty forehead" she said before throwing her feet up on Sebestian desk and spinning the dagger in her hand, her eyes never leaving the furious warlock. She almost rose to her feet when the women gestured with her hand, lifting Sebestian further up the wall.

"Dell, put that away, Rose Is it Allen? " Sebestian asked breathlessly as he stared at the angry, worried expression on her face. "Has something happened to him? Is he okay?" Sebestian asked, alarmed as different scenarios started running through his head. There could only be one reason why she was here. The panic started to rise quickly in his chest as he fought against the magic pinning him to the wall.

"Are you saying you don't know where he is?" Rose asked, her gaze darting between her brothers' mate and his friend. She let him down when she saw the look on his face "what? you're worried about him all of a sudden?" she asked derisively as he shot to his feet.

"What happened Rose?" Sebestian asked as he darted around the desk and grabbed her arms. He couldn't stop the growl that was starting to build in his chest. He yanked his hands back when he felt a spark of magic pulse out of her.

"Don't act like you care about him, have you seen him or not?" Rose asked as she stared at the Alpha Wolf. She watched him as he started pacing, his eyes darting around the room. He actually looked worried.

"Don't speak to him like that, you don't know what he's been going through," Dell said, rising to her feet when Sebestian did not defend himself. "Don't just barge in here and assume he doesn't care, you haven't seen what he's been like," she said, glaring at Rose.

"Please Rose, what's happened to him?" Sebestian asked desperately clutching at her sleeve as the gut-clenching panic in him built to a crescendo. He forgot about the problems with the A-Grade, the problems with the b-Grade, he forgot about the fact that he wasn't supposed to be thinking of Allen as his mate. His heart was racing as he imagined Allen being kidnapped and tortured, or lying face down in a ditch somewhere dea... he tried to cut the thoughts off but they were racing through his head.

"When you walked out on him he was devastated," Rose said as she watched the Alpha Wolf pace frantically up and down again, almost yanking his hair from his head "he has spent the last two days drinking himself into a stupor. He vanished into a air a couple of hours ago muttering your name. I've been going around trying to find him. He really hasn't been here?" she asked, slumping into the chair next to Dell when Sebestian shook his head.

"Where would he usually go when he's upset?" Sebestian asked as he threw himself down next to Rose chair "is there somewhere you haven't looked? Anywhere that is special to him? Think Rose, please" he begged when she shook her head, staring down at him as if he were talking in a foreign language. He slumped down, almost screaming his frustration out, the metal band around his chest getting tighter by the second.

Rose stared down at Sebestian, sitting at her feet. He looked broken. She didn't understand, the last time she had seen him he had turned his back on her brother, now he looked like his world was crashing down on him. She looked up at Dell, seeing the tension in her eyes as she stared back.

"I've looked everywhere I can think o... where are you going?" she asked, jumping to her feet when he jumped up and ran out of the room. She looked at Dell, seeing the same question in her eyes before they both dashed out of the room after him.

"It's been bad," Dell said to Rose as they ran after her best friend "he hasn't eaten or slept, I had to force him to eat this afternoon. You should not assume he doesn't care" she said as they rounded the corner.

"Why? I don't understand, if he cares about Allen why did he just leave?" Rose asked breathlessly.

"He had no choice he cant mate a B-Grade fairy" Dell huffed as she tried to catch up with Sebestian "it is eating him up. I don't understand it, this need people feel for a mate, I probably never will. I've never seen him like this" she said as they finally caught up to Sebestian.

Sebestian growled when he felt the hand on his shoulder. He spun on the spot to find Dell and Rose staring at him. "I need to find him," Sebestian said, trying to turn away from them "let go of me Dell, I need to go and find him, he might be hurt" he growled, the thought had his stomach clenching. He just needed to know Allen was safe, that he wasn't hurt, the need was like a physical urge, punching him in the stomach.

"Where were you planning on lookin....?" Dell cut off when Swanson approached them.

"Sir, there has...."

"not now Swanson" Sebestian growled, trying to think through the screaming in his head telling him to get to his mate "whatever it is it will have to wait," he said, raking his hands through his hair.

"But sir, we need your authorisation for a mission," Swanson said, cringing when his boss let out a frustrated snarl. "Sir, since the investigation started miss Rollins has made it clear that either you or she are to sign off on all missions," he said, almost flinching back when Sebestian started to pace, muttering angrily to himself.

"What is the mission and how many do you need to take with you?" Dell asked when Sebestian started muttering.

"We'll need six, there has been a report of a disturbance at a B-Grade fairy bar, a drunken fairy has..." Swanson shrank back when Sebestian, Dell and the fairy rounded on him.

"What bar? What disturbance?" Sebestian asked desperately almost grabbing the man when he took a step back from them. Only Dell, grabbing his arm stopped him. He took a deep breath before speaking "what is the mission Swanson?" he asked as calmly as he could.

"Sir, the report said that a drunken fairy is holding a bar full of B-Grade Wolfs hostage," Swanson said.

"Hostage?" Rose said, staring at the man "that couldn't be Allen, he would never do that" she said, her hopes sinking.

"The wolf who reported it said that the fairy was ranting about a bust-up with his Alpha," Swanson said, his eyes darting from face to face when they all stared at him. He wasn't sure why the fairy was there but she seemed to be involved somehow. "when they tried to take his drink off him he lost it and is now holding the entire bar hostage. The wolf has been hiding in the bathroom for the last half an hour apparently" he said.

"I'll take care of this personally Swanson," Sebestian said, spinning on the spot and dashing up the corridor before he realised he didn't know where he was going. He whipped around to find Rose and Dell racing after him.

"Come on, I'll create a magic circle it will be quicker," Rose said, taking off with the two Alpha wolfs on her heels. She burst out of the Istation doors "i don't know why I didn't think of this place earlier, have either of you ever been to here?" she asked as she created the magic circle she sighed when they both shook their heads. "Hold onto me and don't let go until we're through," she said, taking their hands and dragging them through the portal. Only the worry and deep love she had for her brother had her two Alpha A-Grade Wolf around.

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