Chapter 4

I couldn't stop pacing up and down. All my thoughts were consumed by the woman on the other side of the door, the woman who was in the room with the man who would have been successful in killing her had I not stopped him.

I had never felt anger like I did in that moment. The only thing on my mind was murdering Jayson. Murdering the man who was my best friend and had been there for me through all the shit my father had put me through; I was prepared to murder my Alpha because he dared to touch my mate.

At twenty-five, I never thought I would find my mate. I had pretty much accepted that I was going to spend the rest of my life alone while everyone else around me found their happiness. Jayson had found his mate the moment he turned nineteen and, at twenty, Jackson still has time to find his without too much worry.

Unlike my father, who seemed to think having a mate was pointless, I actually wanted to find me. I knew she was the only one who could really bring me some form of peace in my life and she would be the first source of happiness I had ever experienced in my life. I knew she was the one who could bring stability and actually give me a reason to keep on living.

The moment I saw her, I knew that she was different. She wasn't going to be one of those who jumped into my arms and told me that she loved me, much like happened with Jayson and Mollie who mated on their first night together. I guess I liked that though.

I didn't ever want someone boring who took me as I was. I wanted someone exciting, someone who could actually give me a run for my money, and she was that woman. Despite her stubborness and instance that she would rather be tortured than accept I was her mate, I still wanted to make sure she was safe.

"Why are you rogue?" I heard Jayson change the topic quickly.

"My pack was slaughtered when I was eighteen. I was happy, just living my life with my family, but that was all taken away from me in one night..." she paused and I could hear the pain in her words as she explained herself to Jayson without too much hesitation. "The life of a rogue was the only option I wanted. I didn't want to start another life so I went at it alone and, for the last ten years, I have done what I needed to do to get by."

Damn. She's older than me. That was a shock in itself. It was highly unusual for the female to be older than her mate, in fact it was such a rare occurrence, that I wasn't sure when the last time was I actually heard of it happening.

"How many different Alphas have you encountered?"

"Enough," her answer was so simple but it was effective. There were well over thirty different Alphas in this area so, with an attitude like hers, it wouldn't surprise me if she had managed to pissed a couple of them off in her own way.

"Blake wants to see you. He wants to know that I haven't hurt you." Jayson didn't bother answering her previous statement.

He knew that I could hear everything going on in the room because, despite him demanding that I leave the dungeons, I told him that I wasn't going anywhere. He even used his Alpha commands but I somehow managed to defy those too.

I wasn't going to leave him down here with my mate, knowing that he would happily kill her and not even take two seconds to think about what he was doing. He knew what it was like to find your mate but he didn't seem to give a shit, he was only intent on murdering her because she was a rogue.

"I don't want see him. Just tell him you didn't touch me and he has nothing to worry about," she muttered.

Ouch. That hurts. I didn't need my wolf to tell me that. It hurt me just as much as it hurt him that she didn't want to see me. I knew she didn't want to see me but I just wanted to make sure she wasn't in any pain.

"I doubt he will believe me. He did this," Jayson paused. I assumed he must have been showing her what I did to him just to make him let go of her neck, "when I refused to stop strangling you."

Technically it was me who did that. No one hurts her, rogue or not. It was difficult not to laugh at my wolf. He had always been proud and had been waiting for the moment he could finally meet the girl who was going to make our world a thousand times better than it already was.

"Look, Alpha, I am your prisoner and I don't want to be treated any other way. That means no visitors, regardless of whether they are my mate," she said. Now I knew for sure that she had been a prisoner in more than one Alpha camp before, otherwise she wouldn't know what sort of treatment to expect.

The sound of the door above slamming closed told me that Jackson was on his way down here and not a minute later he was standing beside me with a smile on his face. I was surprised when Jayson announced that Jackson was going to be his third in command, especially when he was only thirteen at the time.

Jayson wanted a change though and change was what he implemented. Starting with the fact he murdered both my father and his uncle to get to the position of Alpha but, the funny thing is, I don't hate him for murdering my father.

He had it coming and I was surprised that no one did it sooner. But, the moment my father was dead, there was a sudden sense of overwhelming joy in the pack and Jayson did everything to eradicate all traces of the previous rulers.

Laws were changed. We only waged war with those who instigated war. We were one of the few packs who didn't actually murder rogues, we tortured them and trusted them not to say anything, though I guess this one was different because she had murdered so many of our men. We even accepted new members into the pack if they could prove their worth.

Overall, the death of my father and Jayson's uncle was the best thing which could have happened to this pack. We have all become better people and the morale of the pack is generally so much higher, but that doesn't mean we don't have any enemies.

Jayson has accumulated many enemies because of his power and the way in which he wages war. He fights until the other surrenders and, if the other refuses to surrender, there is a lot of blood shed.

"At least tell me your name. Don't you think he has the right to know that?" Jayson asked her and I could tell that he was done with her for the day. He had obviously grown tired of listening to what she had to say and wanted to get the hell out of here.

"It's for the best he knows nothing since I don't plan on accepting him anytime soon."

I didn't register anything other than those words. I don't plan on accepting him. I couldn't believe she was going to reject me, she was going to leave me and I was going to be doomed to a life of misery.

I could feel my anger and pain all merging into one. I didn't have the time to stop myself before I shifted and, where I was stood before, my wolf was now standing and he was growling at the two guards who were outside the room to prevent me from just walking in.

They had their guns trained on me but I was quicker. I launched my entire body at the both of them, knocking them to the ground and smashing something in the process. I don't know what it was and I didn't care either, I was so angry and upset right now.

"Blake. You need to calm down," I heard Jackson saying behind me but my wolf jumped in his direction, a claw catching his cheek and leaving a gash there which was probably going to take a good couple of days to heal.

I then turned to face the two guards who thought they could sneak up on me and I didn't take the time to pause as I jumped on one of them and began digging my teeth into any body part I could get my mouth around. I could taste nothing but blood and that's when the other guard thought he would be brave.

My claws embedded themselves in his throat and the moved down towards his chest, not stopping until he was only just managing to get a breath out.

"Blake. Shift," Jayson had now walked out of the room and was glaring at me. My wolf willingly obeyed him command and I was now a naked heap on the floor, blood pooling around my body as I willed myself not to start crying.

Jayson handed me a pair of jogging bottoms and I hastily pulled them on as Jackson disappeared into the interrogation room, presumably to take the girl to her cell for the evening.

"My office. Now," Jayson demanded and I silently followed behind him, not even sparing a look at the two guards I had just murdered for no reason other than I was angry with a girl I know nothing about.

Jayson had told me that finding my mate would be the best day of my life an I would finally realize what love really was, but that a whole load of shit. I had ended up with a nameless rogue who didn't have anything but a sassy attitude which was going to get her killed and a determination to piss Jayson off.

She is still you mate. And, until she officially rejects you, that's how it's going to stay. Perhaps I should just reject her first, not even give her the chance to say it to me. It would be a whole lot less painful than going through this shit for someone who didn't even want to give up her name.

"What was that Blake? I've seen you lose your temper before, but never enough to actually kill someone," Jayson spoke but I knew he was speaking to me like a friend right now and now as my superior. I walked into the office and sat on the sofa which sat beneath the winder which looked out into the forest and I just allowed my head to fall into my hand, still holding back the tears which wanted to fall.

"You said this was the best day of your life. That you would feel the connection and neither would want to leave the other. What a load of bullshit that turned out to be," I muttered.

"Everyone is different. You need to remember that she is a rogue, she hasn't been a pack for ten years now and is used to living by her own rules. She probably never even thought about finding her mate," Jayson sighed. He sat down on the sofa beside me, though I am sure he would rather be with Mollie than acting as my counsellor.

"I wish we could pick our mates. I would have picked Rochelle and I could be happy by now. Not worrying about the fact I am going to spend the rest of my life mateless while I have to watch you, and probably Jackson, live their perfect life," I stated harshly. I didn't even care that I sounded like a jealous teenager, I was jealous and I hated i

I hated that Jayson had gotten it so easy with his mate and Jackson was probably going to have it just as easy. I was the one who got the impossible girl who was never going to crack, who was going to hide from rather than let me help her.

Hell, I need her to help me. I needed her to be one who could put me back together, to be the one who showed me what it was like to be whole again and actually have something worth waking up for each morning.

"You don't mean that Blake. You're just hurting and that's understandable, but I know you feel the connection and she does too. If you didn't feel anything then you wouldn't have ripped a chunk out of my neck and killed two guards," Jayson chuckled lightly.

"She said her entire pack was murdered. That means my father is the reason she's rogue and when she realizes who I am, she is definitely going to reject me," I sighed in defeat, my hands subconsciously running through my hair before the came to a top behind my neck. "Even from the grave he can still fuck my life up."

"Then we need to show her things have changed since that asshole," Jayson said and I was surprised that he was actually interested all of a sudden. He had been so against doing anything nice for her before and was insistent that she needed to be put to death once she had given up all her information.

I didn't even realize I was staring at Jayson until he began laughing and then I came back to reality. "I'm not going to release her, for obvious reasons, but I'll go easy on her and we both know Jackson won't lay a finger on her. Even if I told him to do so, he would tell me to kill him before he injured her."

"Why? I thought you wanted her dead?" I had known Jayson since we were both four and we had grown up together. He was the only person who knew just how far the damage my father had done to me actually went, he was like a brother to me, but he still maged to confuse the hell out of me.

"She's your mate, Blake. I couldn't kill her because, if I did that, I would be killing you too."

I was about to open my mouth when Jackson walked into the room with a huge grin on his face and I wanted nothing more than to punch it off his face, he spent far too much time smiling and I didn't like it. No one should ever be as happy as he was, even less so when he was happy at five in the morning when were standing in meetings, discussing pack business.

"What's got you so happy?" I finally asked.

"Her name is Ellie. But she said you can call her El," Jackson replied and, despite all the emotional turmoil I was experiencing, I couldn't help but smile to myself. The face finally had a name and it was a beautiful name.

"El. Hm I like it," I muttered to myself and I am sure the other two were grinning at me like total idiots but the floor was more interesting than allowing my friends to see the smile which was now covering my face.

"She also said that didn't reject you. She simply can't accept you at the moment," Jackson said and I guess that brought me some kind of peace, but it wasn't enough to fully calm the battle which was still waging within me. "I think you just need to give her some time. She just needs to get herself together."

"As much as it pains me to say this, Jackson is right. Just trust in that connection, trust that you will end up together, but it will be when she's ready and not before," Jayson reassured me and I could hear Jackson laughing from the doorway which only made me smile some more.

"I have told her that I will speak with her tomorrow. If she says anything else I will be sure to tell you," Jackson grinned and I had a feeling he was probably going to be the one to get Ellie to open up. He would be nothing more than a messenger but that would do me for now, at least I knew she was thinking of me, even if it wasn't in the way I had hoped she would be.