Schizophrenia (B)

"How's that possible? He's so little." 

"Well, that's what the doctor said." Claire snapped at Abigail. I could see that it was a hard topic for her, hell; it was hard for me too.

"It just started one day; he had a fever so I went down to the pharmacy to get him some drugs, when I got back, Frank and Mom were fighting, right in front of him. When I took him away to his room, I noticed that he wasn't moving at all, it was as if he paused in time." She stopped and looked at me. "That was two years ago. The doctor said it's really rare for kids, yet here we are."

Damn! Why does everything have to be so wrong? Schizophrenia? Isn't that just too much?

"He's coming back." Claire muttered under her breath so that only we heard her. James blinked twice, then stretched.

"Claire!" He sounded cheerful. "There are so many pictures of you here and none of me."

"Sorry, Buddy. It's just that Dad doesn't have any of your pictures."

"What about the ones you took?"

"I didn't bring them with me. Tell you what, I'll go get them for you tomorrow and we can hang them around your room just like before, how's that?"

"Really?" 

"Claire, you..."

"Yes. Come on, go tell your Nanny the good news." James was up instantly as he ran up the stairs. He totally ignored the rest of us. I really hoped Mom's attitude wasn't the cause of his coldness. More importantly, Claire was planning on going back to that house?

"What were you thinking? You can't go back there, I'll send someone..."

"I'm going and that's final. What I really want to know is what you all were talking about inside there to trigger James' condition. Did you by any chance mention my Mom?" Luciana, Abigail and I exchanged glances. Of course we did, and we didn't even use the best words. Was James eavesdropping the whole time?

"I can't lose my brother, okay? This is becoming more frequent and I'm scared for him. Please, no one should say anything about my Mom, please." With that, she left us staring after her.

Great! Just great!

Claire was mad at me for the rest of the day. I knew that because she pointedly refused to acknowledge my presence. I tried to get her to explain more about James's condition but she avoided me like the plague, focusing on Mrs Hart and Jacey who helped her pick out outfits. I only stood aside and watched as Claire tried to include Antonio; he kept mute and rudely looked away. It didn't bother me, I knew that he'd talk to her when he was ready. I stayed a few minutes more observing them before I left for my study-room, bored to death of their chatter about clothes. 

Things were a huge mess, I couldn't believe James, as tiny as he was, could be suffering from schizophrenia! And it started when he was two?! Damn that Frank! He ruined my family; killed my wife, hurt my daughter and messed up my son's brain. He'd better hope the cops find him before Nick does, 'cause I'm gonna kill him myself.

"It's huge, isn't it?" I wasn't startled to hear Abigail's voice close behind me; no matter how deep in thought I was, hearing her voice rather soothes me.

I turned to her.

"I bet you're planning on how you're going to murder Frank." She arched a tired brow at me, then leaned on my desk, moving aside a document.

"You know me."

"Yes, I do." She paused, looked away for a moment, then looked back at me.

"You have to have a long talk with Claire. She needs to know everything... And I mean everything." She narrowed her eyes to slits, looking deep into my eyes. I felt hot.

"Claire doesn't... I don't think she's ready. Did you see how she nearly choked about schizophrenia? How do you think she'll react on the whole truth about Doris and I?"

"I know it'll be hard but it'll be better she knows now. If you hold out for like, say a couple of months, when she's finally relaxed and have fully accepted you, then the truth comes out; trust me, her anger now will be paradise compared to then."

I looked away. It always sucked when Abigail's right.

"After the funeral."

"What?"

"Promise me you'll tell her after the funeral." I exhaled.

"Alright, I'll tell her after the funeral. I promise."

"Good. Now, tell Nick to quit looking for Frank. Shhh, you don't have to lie; I know Nick's been missing because he's on Frank's tail." I swallowed my protest and looked away again.

"Hey, look at me." She coaxed softly. I turned back to her. "I spoke to Jacey, it'll all be fine. You have to let go and focus on your kids. I mean, they won't let go if you can't. Let the cops handle this, please?" 

It was hard for me but she made sense; we're all hurting and it's not helping if I'm so distracted by Frank.

"You're right, Abby. I thought finding my kids was the hard part, but this... it's so damn complicated! I so badly want to tell Claire everything so we'd finally be on the same page, but she keeps blowing me off. It's not any easier for me, I mean..." I trailed off and looked her squarely in her eyes. Her eyes were sad, they didn't have their usual glitter which was alarming.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, hoping she'd smile and pour it all on me. But I knew that wouldn't happen. Abigail wasn't someone who'd burden you with her problems, rather she would want you to tell her all of yours, she would want you to vent and curse as much as you'd like, pour it all out, then she would think of a solution and give you relief.

I didn't like it, I've always wanted to know what was going on in her head, what matters to her most, but she never gave in. Abigail could take everyone's problems on her shoulders, yet you need not know what hers was.

Even when Doris brought the news of her pregnancy, Abigail was the one who encouraged me to do the honorable thing of marrying Doris and being a father to my child.

It was almost as if it didn't bother her that I was going to be married to someone else! I knew we weren't dating but we were sort of together. I loved her totally; I mean, I still do but I couldn't tell her that, not when I wasn't not sure how I fit in her life. Besides that, things were totally confusing to even bring up the past. Basically, what I'm saying is, I'd pay whatever it cost to know what she was thinking.

"No. I'm sorry, I have to go." She stepped away from me and headed for the door.

"Abby?!" She stopped. For a moment, she slouched, then she regained her posture.

"I'll be here early tomorrow so we can go to work together." With that, she left.