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49-Goodbyes

LUCY

Having my mother in my pack was weird. My memories of her are so different from the women before me. We are sitting in the gardening drinking coffee and talking about our lives. I can feel her trauma in her emotions. The things she hides and pretends didn't happen. I searched her mind when we first found her to see what she had experienced. They tried to recreate Astrid. She had so many children taken from her, experimented on and killed when they were not blessed wolves. How she hides all that pain, ill never know. She keeps the wall up high. Hidden from Lanie, for being an older sister is very oblivious to real life. The struggles we have faced and the hardships ahead. All she sees is Axel and her family. That's all she has ever wanted. I, on the other hand, have never felt more alone. Killian is great. I do love him, but he can't fill the void I feel. The never-ending emptiness. He does complete me in some ways, but in other ways, I don't know if I will ever be able

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