Sam
“Hey, you got lost for a bit,” I say near his face, “Everything okay?”
He nods weakly, “Tiptop. Let’s dance, baby.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to reply as he drags me to the dance floor, right where Bryce is handing out shots. My friends are with him, screaming and dancing. They’re all pissed. They’re dancing like the world is going to end tomorrow. So, we join them.
Theo is doing his best to follow along, but I can tell his heart is not in it. I can tell something is wrong by the frown that is marrying his beautiful face, but he refuses to call it a night, so I try to make the best of it, participating in group photos and whatnot. Still, it’s hard to get him to crack a real smile.
I guess he’s saving whatever is bothering him for a more private setting, but I wish I knew what's wrong right now.
Theo
It’s the end of the party, and everyone has either go
SamAfter Bryce’s wedding, everything has gone quite fast. Days have become a blur in my head of desperate kisses, whispered promises, planning and making love.Theo has practically moved in with me and spends every minute possible trying to fit in everything we would do in a year. The moment I’m off work I’m rushing to get home to him. He’s usually got a nice dinner and something planned for us to do.We either go to the theatre or watch a film at home (which inevitably leads to sex) or go try a new coffee shop or take Muppet to a park while we talk. It only confirms he is my favourite to person to hang out with. It doesn't take much to have a memorable night with him. Now that he’s started therapy and I can tell it’s doing him good. Slowly, he’s opening up to me about his early life.He’s told me more about himself in two weeks than in the last few months. He’s also terribly excit
SAMIt's immensely pleasing to watch him get excited as the days go on. We have been sitting at my kitchen table for a few hours, a piece of paper between us, and a couple of pens scattered around. Theo is biting his lip, trying to make sense of the itinerary we've drawn up.It's not like I know a lot about travelling overseas, but I've taken to the task of doing all the research possible so we can plan the best trip possible for him. Once we finished with breakfast, we went took Muppet out for a long walk and then just set up our little planning station. It's been so long that I'm getting hungry again now.I lean forward and draw a circle around Chicago."So, this would be around the halfway point. Near the Holidays. I've read it gets mad cold there by the end of the year,"He nods and a slow, careless grin appears on his face, "Well, it's not like London's a tropical wonderland by Christmas. I should be able to adapt accordingly.""I mean,
Sam"You know those things never work out, right?", Andrea tells me with a sad look on her face, "Like, statistically, the chances you're still together by next year are very slim."I nod and take a sip of my tea. This is just another one of our morning coffee dates, and all I can talk about is Theo's trip. That's exactly the thing about it. We have so much against us and generally speaking, I do know long-distance relationships very rarely are worth it, but I can't get the thought out of my head that we will work out."Yeah. But, might as well, yeah? It's not like I want to be particularly single or anything. If it ends, it ends."She shakes her head, "No, but mentally, you will be with him all the time. You're going to keep wondering where he is, why he isn't texting, or who he is with. That's a fact. I love you, and I really like Theo, but I don't want you to go through all of that alone."A lump forms at the back of my throat and
Theo The waitress places a tall cappuccino on my table next to the window. I dump two packets of sugar in it, smiling at the thought of Sam's appalled facial expression every time I did this in front of him. It’s only been a few weeks since I’ve been away and my feelings are all over the place, as usual. Part of me misses him every second of the day. In hindsight, being glued to him right before I left wasn’t a smart thing to do. I wouldn’t have done things any differently if I was given the chance. The other part of me has been completely immersed in the culture, going to every museum I can, checking out local universities, and reading as many novels as I can. I even played an old piano at a bar I was in just last night. I don’t know why I did it. I guess it had been a while, and it made me happy seeing the crowd get into the music and request their favourite songs. Mostly, they were classics, so it was like being back at George's Club minus
TheoMy phone pings, bringing me back to the present. I glance down at it. A couple of texts start rolling in one after another, covering my screensaver. (It’s Sam and I snogging before Bryce's wedding.) I lift it a little so I can unlock it with the Face ID feature.17:31 p.m. Bryce: hey um17:31 p.m. Bryce: everything okay at home?17:32 p.m. Bryce: PhotoI tap on the photo and I can’t help but gasp. It’s Sam back, taken from afar. I’d recognise his broad shoulders anywhere, the line of his neck and then his strong back...it's all too familiar. He’s leaning against the counter at the Starbucks near my flat. I know those chairs, and although most Starbucks shops are similar, there's something special to each one, and I've memorized this one perfectly. Before Sam, I used to go there a lot on Sunday mornings. That's when it's the most empty, before the city awakens, while families are still asleep. Now, sometimes we hav
SamMissing Theo is terrible. I don't know how I lived before him when it was only me on this empty flat and he wasn't here to make me laugh or ask curious questions about my job. His absence becomes more and more painful as the weeks have drifted by. I try to keep myself busy during the day at work, I even stay longer or take up the weekend shifts to avoid coming home to an empty flat. My boss thinks I've become obsessed with work, but I'm just trying to pass the time.I wonder when I became so dependent on him because I remember feeling perfectly fine on my own before I met him. It's not healthy, but it is what it is, and now I feel like i might need to see my therapist again because it scares me to feel this way like I might stop breathing If I don't know where he is for a full day.Right now, I’m getting ready for yet another overnight shift when there’s a knock at the door. It’s the landlord, I can tell by the familiar knock. He always kno
SamA night shift at the clinic is always peculiar, but now that I've got a student under my wing, things have at least gotten interesting. She's young and fresh, so it's fun to teach her all sorts of things. Tonight, Grace is going to be on her first full night shift, and I'm here to supervise, not go all hands-on unless something terrible happens.Sometimes, there are insane nights where patients come in one after another one, or one very complicated case is here all night. Those nights are hard because they're mostly freak accidents, and even when I have to call for backup and we're using all our resources, there is not always something we can do but ease the poor pet's pain.One never thinks about it when you first go into vet school, the grief.Even if you see these animals once in your life, you get close enough to them to understand their pain. You feel how hard they struggle those last few hours to stay here. In their eyes, I see how they don't wa
Theo Argentina is cold this time of the year, and It somehow makes the town feel comforting and familiar. In the past few days, I've learned so much about their culture and food, that for a while it gets hard to believe England is all I have ever known. I love my country, and I can't deny its traditions are some of my favourite bits, but it's fun to see the way other people live. I wish I could see the world through Sam's eyes. I bet it would be even more fun, seeing him discover the world while I hold his hand. I hope someday I get to do just that, explore a coastal town hanging off his arm. For now, I have to settle for walking alone and thinking of him until I video call him once he's home, defeated from the day. He's always eager to see me, even if he's had a long shift. When I was staying at his place, he was always so easy to rile up when he was getting in bed after a night shift. I don't know what's that about, or why they made him