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Chapter Fifty
Theo
I'm still at the table, picking up our containers and setting them on the stove when he is back in the room, with his shoes on and his work ID hanging around his neck. He walks around me and hugs me from behind. I feel his face buried in the back of my neck.
"I'm sorry, I truly am. I'll be back later tonight. It's only six. I'll be back before midnight, promise."
I roll my eyes because I know he can't see me. I understand his motives, and I feel sorry for the goat that's there in Swindon, but I hate him at the same time.
"So much for a whole weekend together," I say bitterly, but lean back into him.
"I understand. You have every right to be upset. I'm an idiot. I accounted for everything at the clinic except for the fact that Gracie isn't trained on livestock at all. I'm sorry, love," he says as he places his cheek against my back.
I twist in his arms so he can see me, and then I step back, freeing myself from his arms.
"I
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a drink we call loneliness Chapter Fifty One
SamWhen I wake up on Friday morning, the sun is out completely. I can tell it's much later than I've woken up in ages. I'm borderline too hot, buried underneath unfamiliar covers, and at first, I'm disoriented.I open one eye, and yesterday comes crashing back at me. Theo. The fight. The sheep. Heaps and heaps of mood. Midnight sex. It feels like it was a whole week packed into a day. I pat around his bed, but I quickly realise I'm alone. I don't think he would wait this long, but I still feel a little disappointed to find that out.When I finally check my phone, it's right on my nightstand, already plugged in. These are the sort of details he has with me that help me believe he's in love with me. His love language consists of helping me do small chores, get things ready for me, it's all about acts of service. As a child who had to be responsible for himself from day one, it's the best feeling in the world. I bounced around from foster family to faster family a
a drink we call loneliness Chapter Fifty Two
Theo After our serious talk earlier, I'm not sure where we stand. I'm not sure how much harder we're willing to try, or how much we can actually give each other. It seems as if the things that we used to have in common have faded slowly over the past year. Both our schedules and priorities have shifted. Our feelings remain the same, I think. Here's the thing about relationships, no matter how much you cling to them, if the timing is off, it might be a matter of time before it all crumbles. I don't have it in me to break things off, but I'm not sure how much longer we'll be able to keep holding on. "Do you want to go out?" I ask him, hoping he says no. I feel like staying in with him all afternoon, maybe cooking some dinner together even. Like back in the good old days. He shakes his head and flushes, "No, I. Well, I thought we could use our time together to be a little selfish, you know? Lock ourselves up." I grin at him and kiss his cheek. I love his soft cheeks, they're my favo
a drink we call loneliness Chapter Fifty-Three
Sam Goodbye day is somehow less dramatic than last time. It's just as heartbreaking for me, though. Mostly, we were rushing to get him to the airport on time. He packed while I took the trash out and made sure his flat was nice and tidy for when he comes back next. I don't think getting back to an empty, filthy flat would feel great after months away, so I dodidmy best with the little time we have. He thanked me by snogging me against the door and offering me the keys if I wanted to stay here while he was away, and I batted them away laughing. "Just trying, you know?" He said with his palms up as he landed another big kiss on my mouth. I raised an eyebrow before pecking his cheek, "Like you don't know me." We spent Sunday morning walking around the park, and then when the sun started showing, we went home for a slow fuck and then he was en route to the airport. There's something about him that's odd, I can't tell what it is. He talks the same amount as before, he looks at me and
a drink we call loneliness Chapter One
Saturday, December 1st Theo It’s what must be the bleakest night of the year. The wind howls outside the building, dragging along the heavy rain, and only contributing to the completely foggy windows. To match the city’s mood, I feel bored and bleak all over, as I usually do on Saturday nights. As I glance at the tall windows, I catch blurry yellow and red lights glowing from the outside. London is moving on tonight, and so should I. By the state of the rain, I can tell leaving the Club before 2 a.m. will be impossible. I take a deep breath to steady my hands and focus on my timing. It’s absurdly cold, and my suit jacket is barely doing anything to keep me warm. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m playing, I’d be freezing completely. When the piece ends, I clasp my hands together, trying to get some semblance of warmth as the clinking of glasses and chatter keep on filling the atmosphere while I prepare for another piece. The regulars are scattered around, som
a drink we call loneliness Chapter Two
Theo An hour or so later, I’m done with my set and the rain is still coming down hard, so I've settled for sitting at the bar for a while until it’s safer to leave. William, the bartender smiles as he opens another beer for me. He places it on the marble counter, “Are you staying until close tonight?” I sneer, “I don’t think it’s possible to drive right now,” and then as an afterthought, I add, “I’d be in bed right now on a normal day.” He scrunches up his nose, “Yeah, you’re telling me,” He grins, “although with how much George is paying me, I think I’d need to work five more hours to make ends meet.” William is your typical blonde, overeager green-eyed Uni student. He’s paying his way through school by working a bunch of odd jobs. In times like this, he’s good company. He’s overall polite, quick with a joke and tends to mind his own business, which is why I like him. It’s also pretty obvious that this is just a pit stop for him. I hope he gets to wh
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a drink we call loneliness Chapter Five
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