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15

15

I CAN’T CLAIM to be surprised Mary Sue gets a response from Clark Jr. before noon. Considering that Clark Jr. is a basement-dwelling loser, he probably has spent every day since dropping out of high school having wet dreams imagining getting such an e-mail. There’s a reason I didn’t even try to place a bet on who would get first response.

“wow, ur super hawt! im total down for w/e you wanna do so hit me up babe,” I read the response from Clark Jr. over Mary Sue’s shoulder.

“I guess you’re gonna be heading over to his basement to jump him right now, then?” I smirk.

“Geez, Nanetta, I’m not a total whore, you know. I’m still gonna make him work for it. That’s half the fun,” Mary Sue replies—despite the sarcasm, I sense I may have actually hurt her feelings. Worst of all, I feel guilty about it. Porcupines damnit. I hate feeling guilty.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything. I was just teasing.”

“It’s okay, hon, we’re good,” Mary Sue replies, brushing off my apology with a
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