Chapter 3: His regrets

There's no use even if she says no to the divorce. Asnawi has already said the words she didn't imagine she would ever hear from him.

Walang halaga ang kasal na ito. A loveless marriage? Kailanman ay di nya pinangarap ito. Noon pa man ay sinabi na nyang sabihin lamang ni Asnawi na hindi na sya mahal nito at agad syang bibitaw.

Hangad nya ang kasiyahan ng kanyang asawa, di man ito sa piling nya.

However, in his heart Asnawi was sad. Kung maaari lang maiwasto ang mga pangyayari ay ginawa na nya.

 He still loves her and hates to see her like this. He frowned when he saw her signing the papers. Akala ni Asnawi ay magmamatigas ito, ngunit kay bilis din lamang pala nitong sumuko.

'This is really the end' he said at the back of his mind.

Before handing the papers to him Jerica forced a smile and said "Let's act like we haven't met before. I want to start a new life. If we ever meet in the future please act like you don't know me."

Why was she saying these things?

Napakunot ang noo ni Asnawi. He gritted his teeth upon hearing those words.

“Di ka naman siguro aangal?” she said in a teasing voice.

“Di rin naman ako umangal ngayon eh. Ni hindi mo manlang maexplain sa'kin pa'no napunta sa ganitong sitwasyon to.” She continued, “Thank you for the memories, but I prefer deleting those.”

She pulled the diamond ring on her finger and hand it over to Asnawi. With that cue, she walked with her heads up.

Jerica made up her mind. She'll definitely be starting herself a new path. Maybe the divorce is also good, she taught.

“Lahat naman siguro may dahilan,” she softly said.

“Kaya pala sa labas ng bansa nya ako pinakasalan para madali lang i-divorce!” Gigil na sabi nito. “Hayop talaga!”

Malayo na ang kanyang dating asawa. Tanging nakikita nya na lamang ay ang paglabas nito sa hospital.

Nagawa man nya ang kanyang pakay na pagpapapirma dito, ngunit di sya mapakali.

Asnawi couldn't read what's on her ex-wife's mind.  She was really that Mischievous.

Well at least she signed the papers. He didn't bother to think anymore and went back to the emergency room.

When Jasmine learned that Jerica has already signed the divorce papers she almost jumped out of the hospital bed. Finally, she can have Asnawi all by herself.

Matagal na nyang pinagpapantasyahan ang lalake ngunit di nya magawang makuha ito sapagkat mahal na mahal nito ang kanyang baog na asawa.

‘This baby insid her has done its purpose now.’ She schemed. Napangiti ang dalaga sa naisip nito.

Seeing her weird look, the attending physician could only shrugged her shoulders. Di nya na lamang ito pinansin at nagpatuloy sa kanyang ginagawa.

Jerica heaved a sigh she went back to the villa where she and Asnawi lived.

Pagbukas nya pa lang sa pinto ay nagsimula na namang dumaloy ang luha nya.

Tila ba nakikita nya ang kanilang pagsayaw noong sila pa. Dati rati'y sinasayaw sya ng kanyang asawa habang nakalapat ang kanilang mga noo, nakikinig sa tila mahinhing musika.

Naririnig nya ang kanilang pagtawa at pagkanta, ngunit ang lahat ng ito'y tanging sa ala-ala na lang.

The hardest part of being heartbroken is when memories start to haunt you. You'll be in so much pain that you would ask God to unlove them.

She put her clothes in her luggage. She left everything that Asnawi gave her over the 5 years of living together. The jewelries, fashion bags, expensive clothes; all she have now were clothes that were bought by her own money.

“Kingina, para akong si Alunsina nito ah!” biro nito sa sarili.

She heaved a sigh.

If I want to forget him, I'd definitely start with these. She zipped up her luggage and called their helpers who have been very close to her heart.

Nalaman ng dalawang kasam-bahay ang dahilan ng kanyang pag-alis at di nito napigilan ang kanilang luha.

"Nanny Aya, Nanny Melba! Wag na kayong mag-alala alam nyo namang kayang-kaya ko ang sarili ko e."

She hugged them one by one.

The helpers also shed tears. They have been treated like family by their Madam and they also have treated her like their child.

"Anak, ingatan mo ang sarili mo ha? Wag na wag mong pababayaan sarili mo.” sabi ni Manang Aya, sabay hikbi at punas ng kanyang sipon gamit ang kanyang maluwang na damit.

“Tumigil ka nga Aya at ako'y naluluha rin!” Saway nito sa kanyang kasama. “Jerica, anak kahit anung mangyari ay wag kang mahihiyang tawagan kami. Kami na ang bahala sa ahas na iyon. Talagang papainitin namin ulo nun.” Mahabang litanya ni Manang Melba.

Napangiti na lamang si Jeica sa kanyang narinig.

"Hahaha I will really miss you Nanny!" she said, wiping her tears and trying to keep her smile.

The two nanny's send her off to the gate. They hugged for the last time. Jerica was already riding a cab. She have nowhere else to go. She have been an orphan back then. She was only raised by nuns on an orphanage.

Wala syang mapuntahan. May isang kaibigan sya ngunit nakatira ito ngayon sa ibang bansa.

‘I can do this!’ Encouraging her own self.

She went to a place away from the crowded city. She rented a small apartment and there she rests her heart and soul for a while.

"..."

Asnawi was not in the mood these past few days. After that day when he got home, the house felt empty. Their room was half-empty also. What was left was her scent, the jewelries and the memories they shared back then. He couldn't blame her, after all he was the one who personally asked her to sign the divorce papers.

Ang katahimikan na bumabalot sa kwarto ang tila umantig sa emosyon ng lalake.

“Sh*t, kahit kailan ay napaka-gago ko.” wika nito.

 Kahit di nya man lubos sabihin ay halatang masakit din sa kanya ang pag-layo ni Jerica. Huli na para mag-sisi pa.

Wala na ang babaeng gagawin ang lahat mapangiti lamang sya.

Sa bawat sulok ng kwarto ay nakikita nya si Jerica. Nang binuksan nya ang drawer ng kanyang asawa ng napatigil sya.

Umagos ang luha nya sa nakita.

Ang laman nito’y mga gamot na iniinom ng asawa, napakaraming syringe at ubos na bote ng gamot para sa kanyang kondisyon.

Nasuntok nya ang pader sa sobrang galit sa sarili.

Hanggang sa panahong ito, sa loob ng mahigit limang taon ay hindi sumuko ang kanyang asawa na mabigay ang anak na pinangarap nya.

Hindi ito tumigil sa pagturok ng gamot, sinarili nito lahat ng sakit ng bawat karayom habang sya ay nagawa pang lokohin ito.

Hindi nya lubos mapatawad ang sarili at sinipa ang drawer na kinalalagyan ng mga gamot.

Weeks passed Asnawi was just carefully looking at every corner of their room, ni hindi sya kumakain at tanging nakahiga lang sa kanilang kwarto ng dating asawa. He was restless and tired when his new secretary called.

"Mr. Asnawi, I have brought the papers that needs to be signed right now." His secretary said.

"Put them in my desk." His cold voice enveloped the line that his secretary almost shivered while holding his phone.

Wala pa sa tamang huwisyo si Asnawi ngunit tinatawag na sya ng kanyang mga responsibilidad.

He hung up the phone and was about to call Jerica but then he remembered what she said. Napalunok ito at napahigpit ang hawak sa telepono.

He then calls Jasmine.

"How are you?" A hint of coldness could be felt in his hoarse voice.

"I'm fine Awi!" Jasmine replied happily, a hint of excitement can be heard as soon as she spoke. Her voice was very sharp to the ears that he had to keep his ears distant to the phone.

"That's good." he said shortly, not wanting their conversation to stay longer.

"Awi! I want to go there. I mean I want to live with you!" Asnawi was not surprised by her straightforwardness. Noon pa man ay ganito na ang kanyang sekretarya.

He thought this was better so that he can keep an eye on her pregnancy.

Although Asnawi's mind was preoccupied with Jerica, he thought of the child inside Jasmine's womb and could only let out a sigh.

If only she could also bear a child would their situation went this downhill?

The call has just been hung up by Asnawi. Jasmine then received a call from someone on the phone.

"...."

As soon as she saw the caller's name on her phone, she immediately ignored it and blacklisted the number.