Chapter 1: The Rewrite in which I’m a Crappy Side Character in my Own Book World

Just one chapter left.

It’s amazing what goes through your mind when you’re dying.

I had taken a break and gone to the nearest convenience store to buy a boatload of chocolate to celebrate writing the last chapter to the last installment of my book series. When I started to write this story of swords, magic, and court intrigue a couple years ago, I could have never dreamt that the books would get published and that they would actually be popular. Of course, that just meant for the last book of the series, the pressure was on to write a good ending. Even though most of the fan mail I got was surprisingly encouraging, I could sense the inpatient desire for the next and final book.

The ending better be worth it. I could read the message clearly in between the lines. But despite multiple setbacks, a couple mini nervous breakdowns and one bad tequila binge that I hoped everyone would quickly forget, I had written the majority of the book. All I had left was to write the last chapter. Thus the purchasing of the celebratory chocolate, so I could party as soon as I was finished writing. 

Who would have thought I would get hit by a car on my way back from the store?

My first thought as darkness overcame me was for my book series. 

I hadn’t finished the ending yet!

My second was for all the wasted chocolate. 

I never got to eat any!

I woke up in a strange body, in a room I didn’t recognize.

I stared down at myself, surprised. I was wearing some sort of dress with an apron draped over it almost seemed like a uniform of some sort. Nothing like my usual jeans and a t-shirt. More shockingly, I seemed to have shrunk in height, but grown in… other dimensions. Confused, I poked my own chest. Huh, seemed real enough. How did I go up 2 cup sizes overnight? If I could patent this method, I’d be rich! I slapped my face lightly. Focus!

Running to a nearby mirror mounted on the wall, I stared at the reflection. A sharper, more refined face stared back at me, with black hair and green eyes that looked nothing like my own. I poked my face too. Ouch. What the heck?! How did I turn into someone else?! 

Weirdly enough, I felt like I should recognize it…

“KATARINA!” A strident voice interrupted my perusal of my new face and body. An older woman in a similar uniform to the one I was wearing walked in, shooting me a look of disgust. 

“I’ve told you before, stop being so slow in the mornings! Miss Autumn should be waking up any moment now! Why are you not in her room ready to serve her?!” 

Ignoring my open mouthed look of astonishment, she pulled me by the hand through the halls towards another room. I glanced around at the stone floors and walls, the intimidating decorations, only slightly surprised to see magical floating balls of light being used instead of lamps. 

This all seemed so familiar. 

We entered a beautiful room, luxuriously decorated in red and pink colors. A girl was tucked into the enormous canopy bed, sleeping. 

“Lady Autumn, it’s time to wake up.” The older woman beside me called gently, seemingly reluctant to disturb her. 

What the heck?! Was this the same woman who gave me the death glare and scolding just a few minutes back? Who was this sweet looking old lady? 

Shocked, I kept my mouth shut and my head down. 

The girl sat up in bed and looked up at us, excited. 

“Hooray, It’s finally my birthday!” She was a cute teenage girl, with bright eyes and a big smile. I couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Yes, Ma’am, today is the day the Prince’s messenger should arrive!” The older woman’s eyes were sparkling, but at her words the girl Autumn’s smile faded and was replaced with a nervous expression. 

“Gertia, am I really being considered as a marriage candidate for the Prince?” 

“Yes! Prince Coron has apparently heard of your beauty and social graces and personally approved you being listed as a candidate.” The woman (who I assumed was called Gertia, given how Autumn addressed her) was beside herself with excitement, but Autumn just sported a strained smile. Poor girl, she was obviously troubled at the idea of being mixed up with royalty and politics…

Wait. 

Autumn…. Gertia…. Prince Coron…. A world where magic lamps lit the hallways and noble girls slept in pink canopy beds…

THIS WAS MY BOOK!

Ugh, this was a little too much. My empty stomach revolted with the shock and I could taste bile in the back of my throat. 

“Katrina, are you okay? You look ill!” Autumn called out to me, concerned. I held my hand against my mouth, trying not to vomit. 

“She’s probably just trying to get out of work.” Gertia looked annoyed. Hey! What did I ever do to you to earn this kind of treatment? If I weren’t so sick I’d treat this old hag a lesson. 

Careful to keep my complaints silent in my head, I waved a hand, muttering “Excuse me.” as I ran out. I ran randomly through the hallways, exiting the large mansion. There were people all around me, busy with different tasks. Over in the courtyard a large group of guards were performing sword drills, the young man in front of them practicing with a sword made of magical flames. I kept running until I came to a pond just on the edge of the property, Swallowing nervously, I looked into my reflection in the water. 

Yep, still not my face.

What was going on? Could it have been a coincidence that these people had the same names as my book characters? But the floating lights, the fire sword… that was real magic right? 

Lost in thought, I stared at my face on the water’s surface. I looked to be about 14 years old. If this was my book then was I a new character? Who was I supposed to be? I though back carefully. What was the name they had called me again?

Katrina.

Oh. 

Oh no. 

I sat down, cradling my head in my hands. 

Was this the Universe’s idea of a big joke? I groaned miserably. Katrina was a character in my story. The third daughter of a Baron, she had grown up a pampered noble girl, albeit a slightly poor one. But her family had decided to send her to serve as a lady’s maid to Autumn, who was the only child of the Duke of Terotta. Her parents had felt that Katrina’s marriage prospects were low, so even being part of the household to the future queen would have more benefits then wasting away at her home. None of that was the problem however. 

The problem was that Katrina was a terrible character. 

I knew it. I had written her to be that way after all. She was my trash character, the scheming girl behind all the minor plots and intrigue. She was lazy, arrogant, and not all too bright. She spent half the book series attempting and failing to seduce the crown prince, and the other half trying to trap and beat Autumn. Because she was more conceited than smart, I had had a lot of fun making her the butt of a lot of jokes, turning most of her plans against her. In the last book that I had been working on before I died, she had helped the villain kidnap Autumn. Of course the prince had saved the main character and the whole evil plot fell to pieces. When everything was resolved she was stripped of her title and executed. 

I groaned again. Why on earth was I, the author, in the role of the crappy side character instead of Autumn the protagonist? 

It was just too infuriating. 

It took a while for me to calm down, but eventually I did. After all, I had no idea why I was here, or how long I would be here. In the meantime though, I refused to play the role of the stupid, noble girl antagonist. 

Take that, younger me who thought this kind of character was good writing!

I thought about what I knew. Katrina had started working at the Duke of Terotta estates at around 14 years old. Given my appearance, I couldn’t be much older than that. I must have just started recently.

Perfect!

The next major plot point, when Autumn was declared the fiancé of Prince Coron and started royalty training, wouldn’t happen until her 16th birthday. She was 14 today, same as me, so that meant I had 2 years to transform this character from a useless arrogant brat into a capable side character! I chuckled to myself, thinking back on the plot points and how I could improve them. 

Look out world, there’s a rewrite in the works!