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Chapter 21 - Cassidy
****CONTENT WARNING****
THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DISCUSSIONS OF SEXUAL TRAUMA. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
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*****I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I’m getting soft in my old age. Ha, cause seventeen is old. I don’t know. But I made up my mind, and I can’t just change it now.
So I let Collin into my house. Leaving him alone in the living room while I went upstairs to change. As I shut my bedroom door, I consider taking a shower. Wrinkling my nose as I smelled the fried fish on me.
I almost consider jumping into a quick shower but then rethink that. I’m not leaving Collin unsupervised too long in my house. So instead, I quickly change out of my work clothes, using my Bath & Body Works Strawberry Pound Cake body spray to best mask the smell till I can take a proper shower… or two.
Taking my hair out of the bun I spray my brush with the same body spray and quickly brush out my ha
BryantI know this chapter is a bit longer than most. I couldn't break this one up. Cassidy's truth had to be told and be told all at once. If you or someone you know has ever experienced sexual assault, know that help is out there.
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I’ve had this sinking feeling about what Brant did, how he could have traumatized Cassidy to the point of the panic attacks I’ve witnessed. I’ve been dreading hearing the truth. I knew whatever it was, it would make me angry. But I was not prepared for how angry I got. Brant raped Cassidy. He tied her up, hit her, and took so much from her. And fuck, she’s so damn strong to keep fighting. To continue to stand against him and people like him. I want to find Brant and bash his brains in. That no justice was given for what he did. He got away with it because of his fucking daddy. The fact he’s still walking the streets, and fuck that he’s walking in general, astounds and angers me. And of all this, what I can’t understand is James. He’s Cassidy’s brother, yet he hangs out with Brant and is his friend. Unless it’s an act and he’s just getting close enough to off the fucker without anyone thinking it was him, there’s no reason to be Brant’s friend.
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I can’t believe I just told Collin Cole the truth. I told someone who’s not my family, therapist, or cop what Brant did to me. And he believed me! He held my hair when I threw up. And got pissed at Brant and even James. He was seriously going to blacklist my little brother. And I don’t want to inflate his ego, but while Collin doesn’t have the name-brand pull of the Frost triplets or the sleaze Brant Jones, he is still one of the most popular guys in our school. If he told people to ignore James, they would without question. And as much as James probably deserves it for not believing me, for not standing up for me and with me. I can’t let that happen. I know my brother better than anyone. His need to be popular, to have friends, and feel like he belongs stems from unresolved issues with knowing we will never find out who the sperm donor was and his feelings of incompletion and abandonment. I sighed, pushing off the door after shutting it.
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I seriously do not understand that woman. I know he’s her brother and whatever. But seriously, she needs to draw the line. She can’t keep letting him get away with treating her shitty and defending him from someone calling him on it. “What’s up with you and Summers?” Forrest questioned as we got changed for gym. I wasn’t ready for this question. I’m not even sure how to answer it. “Me and James? The kid just annoys me.” I shrugged. I rather doubt she would want me to say anything to him about us. I figured I was safer to answer based on the younger Summers than assuming Forrest meant Cassidy. Fuck are we even an us? Crap, I feel like a girl. Questioning if two kisses means we’re an item or not. I groaned, leaning my head into my locker. How has this girl wholly blown up my game? I’m the one that lives girls guessing, not the other way around. I don’t like this yo-yo shit. I also do not like that whatever is going on b
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I don’t know what the hell is going on with me today. I didn’t need to make that dig at Collin during gym class. I chose to dance with Forrest to keep away the vipers that wanted to prey on him. He’s claimed. And as Riko’s friend, I’m obligated to defend her territory. But it wasn’t fair or pleasant of me to say what I did, at least with the level of snark I did. Collin is single, but I didn’t need to point it out so cruelly. I also didn’t need to be such a bitch about Jessica. I had to put a fake smile on my face as she told me she would ask him to the movies. I have nothing against Jessica. She’s a nice person. But I wanted to punch her when she said she would ask him out. I’m usually all for girl power and encourage people to make the first move if they are comfortable. Her making a move on Collin was pushing my buttons. I love art. I at least had all of art class to just chill. And with Riko in class, it’s more fun.
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I have to be out of my mind. I’ve let a few kisses turn my brain to utter mush. It’s not that I’m saying I’m crazy for saying I want to be with Cassidy. I just know that there’s a lot involved with being involved with her. I don’t know if I am up to it. If I can really be the guy she needs, let alone deserves. But fuck it, I’ll try. Because even if I screw up and get hurt, hopefully, I won’t hurt her, and it ends. It’s worth the risk to be close to her. I want to get to Saturday more than ever. A date with Cassidy Summers. And not just any date. I want to show her I’m more than she thinks I am. That there’s more to me. That’s why I want to take her to the game my kids will be playing. Technically I’m working, but I still think it would be a multi-tasking date. Low stress for her. She can’t feel uncomfortable and be worried I’ll pull a stunt if we’re around a group of kids. I mean, I gotta do something that tops making her s
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