For hours she sat on the floor with a glass of whiskey in hand, but for some reason she could not bring herself to swallow the strong beverage.
She could not believe the last few hours happened, that she had the confrontation she had been dreading for years.
It left her with so much pain, anger, and hatred. The truth did not set her free, it chained her to every exchange that happened last night, and it brought back the past like a wave on the shore, making it harder to breathe without thinking about it.
For hours she hesitated whether or not she should call Blair. She was not sure whether she wanted to be in complete silence or speak to somebody about her encounter with Logan Parker. She felt lost, exposed, neglected, and abandoned. She felt naked.
She felt as though every time she stepped outside, everyone would notice, everyone would see that she was a rape victim. Her hard work would no longer count, her success would not come to her rescue, and her achievements would be tainted.
She realised that she no longer had a name, she was only a part of statistics, she was just a number in the list of unresolved cases in the world, she was a victim of an injustice not only from the man who violated her, but from the law in South Africa as well.
She knew very well the privilege of having money when it came to the justice system, money could buy anything, including freedom, rendering victims of injustices liars and opportunists. She knew how to get away with murder, did that make her any less of a victim? Perhaps less of a woman? Her head was aching from all the thinking, she had to stop feeling sorry for herself, it was no use.
She needed a distraction, and this house was the perfect distraction. She never thought she would come back here, especially after everything that had gone down, the worst being Jorge's shooting.
The house was still a mess, the helper and not been there in a long time.
She got a bucket and a mop from the storage room and started cleaning from upstairs until eventually she reached the front door where Jorge's dried blood still stained the carpet and wall. That was a mess she still needed to deal with, she had to clean up not only the mess on the floor or the wall, but take care of the whole thing and find her brother's killers and save his life. She did not want any more bloodshed, not when it came to the people she cared about.
She disposed of the water she was using to clean upstairs and then got a smaller bucket in which she poured every cleaning detergent she could find in the house. She kneeled down in front of the door and scrubbed the floor until there was no blood stain left. The cleaning detergents managed to get rid of the copper smell of the blood, but the condition in which they left the carpet was unsettling, the floorboard that was once brown was now white in colour, it was haunting like the aftermath of a nightmare, horrifying.
She threw herself on the floor and leaned against the wall where there was once blood stains, her clothes; the white pants and blouse were covered in blood.
A knock came from the door when she least expected it, but she did not bother answering, the door was not locked, the person would either get tired of knocking and leave or decide to let themselves in. She did not care, she did not even worry herself, if her brother's murderers were back then perhaps it would be better if they put an end to her, she did not want to die but it was the better option considerable.
The door creaked open, and she did not bother to look up, an immense amount of light flooded the house when the person opened the door. She saw a shadow of a man and she could recognise that scent anywhere, it made her heart soar but she felt as if the moment she allowed herself to be vulnerable, she would crack. She did not want to crack, not in his presence anyway. The last time she opened up to him, he ran off, leaving her to suffer alone in her demise.
Cameron closed the door and sat down on the floor next to her, but neither of them said a word.
They were sitting so close to each other, their bodies almost touching, and yet, it felt like there was this huge gap between them, they were like strangers, neither of them knew where to begin.
MJ wondered what dragged him out here so late in the night, but she had her guesses. "Did Blair send you out here to check up on me or did you come at your own free will?" She asked.
"She was worried about you," he said.
MJ snickered. "Of course."
"I am worried about you too." She gulped, her chest burning with undefined emotions. "Jackson tells me that you went to see Logan." Her body went rigid, and that only fueled his suspicions. "MJ, I am trying not to think of the worst but my gut tells me that something happened. I'm even scared to ask."
She took in a shaky breath and gulped, shutting her eyes. "I lost control and let my emotions take over," the words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop herself. There it was, the vulnerability she allowed herself to feel when he was around. "I wish I could turn back the hands of time, that the last 24 hours did not happen. I feel so dirty... naked, like I bore my soul to him."
She waited for the pity and blame, but it never came. "How much does he know?" Cameron asked instead.
She shook her head. "Enough." Not enough, she thought.
"Are you scared that he might start looking at you differently?"
MJ frowned and tilted her head so that she was facing him. She had not done this to redeem herself, she wanted them both to hurt, and now she regretted it. "I did not go to Logan with the intention to come clean, it was an impulsive act.. I shouldn't have done it!"
As expected, Cameron was still not aware of the implications of her actions. "What could be so bad about it? I mean, at least it's out of the way now."
"Cameron, you just don't get it, do you?" She got up from the floor, and he followed her actions.
"MJ, what you did takes a lot of courage. You've been harbouring this heavy burden on your shoulders for years."
"Exactly!" She yelled, throwing her hands in the air. "And for a good reason. Cameron, once secrets start piling out, there's no stopping them! What do you think is going to happen the next time Logan sees me? He's going to want to know who did it, what do I say then? Do you know what that means?" Cameron's face paled as his head started working. "Exactly! Just get the hell out of here, Cameron, you can tell Blair that I'm better than ever." She turned around and ran up the stairs.
She got to her room and got out of the bloody clothes, and then ran a shower. She heard Cameron's car veer to life, and her heart sank in disappointment. He was never here to stay, he only came because Blair asked him to, otherwise, he did not care. She had to remind herself that she had no one in this world, she was all alone and she had to fight for her survival.
She stepped into the shower and relaxed as soon as the water hit her body. She reminded herself that she was stronger than this, she would overcome whatever obstacles life set in her way.
How could a person be so heartless? How could someone who was once so sweet be so cruel? Logan wondered, but the warning bells went off in his head; he knew why, it was the same reason he was walking around like a zombie.He did not know what was worse; that she was raped, that she hated him, or the fact that she had no sympathy. Logan knew her too well to know that she would never lower down to his level and comfort him for his loss; MJ Billings was proud, heartless, and unsympathetic – she was cruel, and that was the first thing one saw in her the first time.Logan had known MJ since she was little, after all, he was four when she was born. His father and Jorge's father were the best of friends, and that was how he met Jorge who was seven at the time and they became the best of friends.Most of the time when he visited, Jorge was either spending time with his baby sister, or he was reading since he was home-schooled. Logan did not understand why until a
He watched her run up the stairs and a second later, he heard the bedroom door slam shut.She was right, she did not invite him, he came because Blair asked him to, but he also did it out of free will. However, it did not mean that he was going to leave just because she did not want him there.He walked out of the house and told the driver to go back home because he needed enough people to keep an eye on Montana, but that was only an excuse to get rid of the guard and stay behind.He puffed out and rolled his head back around, suddenly feeling tired and drained like he had been lifting heavy machines, while in reality, he had not been doing anything, at least nothing useful, he was just lazing around in his brother's house.He sighed and walked back into the house. The house was spotless, MJ had done a really great job at cleaning it, nobody would be able to tell that it was a crime scene. The only thing that was a reminder that a crime had taken place wa
"She was admitted at the same hospital as Mr Billings."She sat there for a second, waiting for someone to tell her something else, something that did not need for her to solve.But the prolonged silence killed her hopes. Her mouth suddenly filled with too much saliva, and she felt her stomach twisting and turning strangely, and then she retched. She pushed her chair back and ran past Cameron and Jackson, and barged into the nearest bathroom, immediately falling to her knees and bending over the toilet. Her throat burned as all the contents she just had spewed out through her mouth.She choked and gagged until nothing was left. Her body shivered as if she had not had anything to eat, she felt weak to her bone as she leaned over the basin and rinsed her mouth.She stayed in the room for a minute, thinking about what Jackson just said to her.She could not believe that Samantha Grayson was in the same hospital as Jorge, whoever put her there thought
Logan thought that the days to come would be miserable following the confrontation with MJ Billings, but not even a day later, he was in the greatest mood of his life.He woke up that morning and cooked up a storm of breakfast, taking Antonina by surprise."Is there a problem?" Logan asked when Antonina threw him a suspicious glance at the breakfast table."You were not home when I went to bed last night, and I did not hear you come back," she said.Logan felt his heart beat slowly for a second, but he refused to let it get to him. She did not remember anything from last night, and he did not want to worry her by trying to get her to remember things, it would only make matters worse."I was working till late last night. I missed quite a lot of work when we went London."Her eyes perked up. "Hmm, me too! We should finish up here and leave, there's a lot of paperwork to catch up on." She gulped down her juice and got up. "We can pack some of t
Logan was not particularly happy to see her, but she did not expect anything less from him. He had every right to be mad at her.She was not planning on being in the same room as him after their confrontation, but after everything she heard from Samantha, she wanted to look him in the face and ask him why he did what he did.He put her brother's life in danger and put all their lives at risk.She went to look for him in his office and found out from Natalia that he was at La Café, she did not expect to find his bodyguard with him, but from the look of things, the news of his latest adventure had travelled fast."What are you doing here?" Thuso asked, but MJ ignored him.Her attention was focused on Logan, she had no idea how to feel about him or the situation he put them in, all she felt was a burning feeling in her chest, and it felt as if she was going to explode."Just give me a reason why, one good reason," she said quietly. "I kn
Home was not the same, not without Logan.She wondered what it would take to get him to move back into the house.She did not understand why he was staying with that old lady.To top it off, Cameron was still not home when she woke up. What was the use of being here if she was going to be all alone?She and Cameron never really had a good relationship, they were like an odd pair of shoes, water and oil, they just could not get along.With Logan on the other hand, they did not have a perfect relationship, but they got along just fine.She had to figure a way to get him home. An idea popped in her head, she was tired of being cooped up in this house."Honey," she said to her son who was having cereal in the kitchen. "Don't have a lot for breakfast, we will have something on the way.""Mom..." He heart swelled in joy when he addressed her. "Are we going somewhere?" He asked excitedly.She messed with his hair and smiled. "Y
He shut his eyes and listened as her steps faded into the crowd outside the cafe, and then stood up abruptly, pushing Lorraine off his lap.He walked around his desk and slammed the door shut, and turned to the woman in anger. "Don't ever barge into my office like that, do you understand?" He seethed.He had no idea what possessed him in the first place, one minute he wished they could stay together in silence without dwelling on the past or arguing about their mistakes, but the moment Lorraine arrived, that thought was broken.He was hoping that it would affect her, that she would be jealous, but she just remained impassive and left."But, Logan..." Lorraine looked confused. "You just..." She pointed at the chair and shook her head in question. "You were the one who... wait, was all that just for show?" She asked. Dammit! Logan thought. "Did you use me to make that lady jealous?" He gulped and looked way. Lorraine snickered, "Who the hell is that woman?
There was no telling when all the chaos would come to an end.It was one issue after the other. Just when she thought all was well, she took ten steps back.It was ironic though. She was addicted to conflict, she craved for it, it made life more interesting.It was what made her look forward to waking up in the morning, and yet it haunted her. It was true when they said that too much of a good thing was bad.She felt like there was a lot going on behind her back that she was not aware of.Every single day, she woke up to more questions than answers, and the one person who could answer them was connected to every possible machine in the hospital.Jorge was the only person who could help her make sense of everything. What was really going on?MJ wondered if perhaps her brother lived a secret life. It bothered her to think that there was a possibility that she did not know him as much as she thought she did. What if he was involved in il