CHAPTER 4

Anna's POV

"Who the hell did you have sex with, Anna?" My mother yells at me the moment we enter the house. Pamela dropped us off at home after the silence that ensued immediately after the doctor announced the news. The silence lingered till we got home.

I bite my lower lip in silence. I am filled with regrets. I don't know what to say to my mother. How can I be pregnant for three months won't even knowing? I ask myself. I know my mother is highly disappointed in me.

"Aren't you going to answer me, you loose girl?"

"Mom, I'm not loose." I retort in anger. "Why the hell will you call me a loose girl when you don't even know how I got pregnant?"

"Then talk. Your silence is killing me. How will you cope with this shit and your academics? Is this how I trained you up? Why the hell do you like tormenting me?"

"Mom......"

"Don't call me. Just tell me who the hell pumped his seed into you, you naive girl."

I sigh. I don't even know what to tell her. How can I tell my mom I don't know him by name? How do I tell her I only know the motherfucker by face? I'm fucked up, I thought to myself.

My mother gasp all of a sudden as if she remembered something. We are in the living room which contains two sofas, sofas set, and a center table. It is a little home that has kept us secured for years. It is also a reminder of how poor my mother is compared to my friend, Pamela who owns her car.

"Anna", my mother raise her head up, putting her index finger at me. "Cameron left three months ago, right?"

I know what she is talking about immediately and I shake my head. My mother is thinking the baby is Cameron's.

"It's not what you are thinking, mom. Cameron and I have been drifting apart three months before we broke up."

Mom heaves a sigh of relief as she slumps to the nearest sofa. She hates Cameron with passion and was against the relationship between us. When we broke up, she was happy and relieved.

"Who the hell impregnated you then?" Her voice is down. "You started dating again before you broke up?"

"No, mom", I reply calmly.

"Then what happened?"

"The night after we broke up, remember Pam and I went to a party?"

"And you were raped?" She assumes.

"No, mom. It was a consensus between us. I did it because I felt Cameron will get to know and he will feel bad about it. I did it because I wanted to spite him, I wanted him to know other men find me attractive....."

"And you foolishly had sex with some man?" She interrupts me with a shout.

I remain silent. "And you couldn't even think of taking some pills after the goddamn sex?" Her voice is shaking.

"Mom?"

"Don't call me. Do you know the kind of shit we are in now? How do you want us to take care of this fucking pregnancy of yours? Tell me."

"I'm sorry, mom. I didn't mean for this to happen", I say and begin to sob silently.

My mother exhales deeply and relaxes her back on the sofa. She is thinking of the way out.

"Who is this goddamn man?" She finally asks.

I am speechless right now. This is another problem. I know it will come to this. How do I tell her I don't know the man who impregnated me

"Anna, I asked you a question, didn't I?"

"Mom, I do....do..don't...don't….."

"Will you talk?" She rushed to her side.

"I don't know him." I blurted out.

"What?"

"Yes, mom", I shake her head repeatedly. "I only know how he looks, I don't know his name or where he lives."

"What?" Mom exclaims again.

****

 I rush to my room after mom strikes me hard on the cheeks. The moment I enter my room, tears begin to trickle down my face. I let them fall freely as I lay sprawl on my bed. 

I am doom. How will I cope in school? Will I become a laughing stock among my colleagues? When Cameron gets to know, how will he feel? All these are what are making me cry harder. 

My mom's slap is just a gateway to the tears that have been threatening to fall ever since the doctor broke the news to us.

I try to think of the possible ways to see the man again. I can barely recognize him and I close my eyes to see him so I can let the image stick in my head. 

Mom works as a waitress in a restaurant. I don't know how we can manage with the little she is earning. 

Am I to drop out of school then? I ask myself.

My tears won't stop. I have nothing to console myself with. I feel ashamed of myself right now. After crying non-stop for a while, I fall asleep on the bed, without getting out of my dress.

The knock on my door stirs me up from my deep slumber.

"Anna, I'm sorry. Please open the door." Mom apologizes from outside. 

I am still on the bed, listening to her. I want to go and open the door for her to come in but I am still hurt by her actions. I know I am at fault and I don't expect her to praise me for my foolish behavior. The least I expected of her is to support me. This is a trying time for me.

"Anna, please open the door. I'm sorry. I was just mad at you for....."

"Just go away, mom", I yell. 

"Anna, please hear me out."

"Go!"

I didn't hear her voice again and a few minutes later, I hear the sound of her feet fading away. I am about to go back to sleep when my phone rings. It is Tony. I realize we are supposed to go out tonight.

"Tony, I'm sorry I can't make it tonight." I apologize immediately.

"What? Come on, Anna. My friends are calling already. I told them you are coming with me."

"I know Tony but I can't, something came up. I'm sorry", I mutter.

"Shit! You should have called before now to inform me, Anna. Why do you have to wait till I call?" He shouts. 

The Tony I know is a good and nice guy but the one talking right now is sounding selfish and pissing me off.

"Do you even know what happened? I collapsed right after we departed and I was rushed to the hospital. I never knew you were this selfish." 

I am angry at him. Angry at everyone.

"Anna......"

"Shut the fuck up and get off my phone," I scream and hang up in annoyance.