A few weeks have gone by since Matteo and I have started working on our relationship. It’s harder than I thought it would be, for me at least. Matteo is all about trying and is doing his best to communicate with me. He’s also trying to help our newly formed family get on the right track. This is not how I pictured anything. I love Lana and I know in time once I get past my resentment for Matteo I will love him too, but right now my resentment is making it hard to want to try. I can’t help feeling doomed as a second chance mate.
Matteo is used to a mateship, none of this is new to him, but for me it’s all new. I was a virgin and while I enjoy Matteo’s sexual taste, I secretctly panic every time he finishes inside of my vigina and not my ass. I’m still getting used to anal. It’s not bad, I actually enjoy it, but I get sore quickly. Matteo is freaking huge and the fact that he fits in any of my holes i
I’m not big on being in the city, but the other alphas wanted to meet at some hotel to go over our alliance. It seems war is a very possibility. The rogue packs seem to be up to something. Our guess is they either want to be established as their own packs with rights which is something we might consider if it avoids war. My pack is the biggest of the alliance and the one with the most warriors. My pack will shoulder a lot of the fighting so I’m for avoiding a war if we can work something out with them. Maybe give them some land they can claim their own and they run things their way, but in exchange they wouldn't be allowed in our alliance. It’s political cluster fuck and this are the moments where I hate being in postion of leadership and power. I’ve worked hard to make my pack a great pack, a pack with power and money, but it comes at a price. As Alpha of the pack I often pay the price. It’s a heav
The drive to the city is quiet so far. It’s an hour drive from our pack territory to the main city. Werewolves don’t really like being in the city, we like the freedom the woods offer us. I never minded the city though. The tall buildings, the hustle and bustle, the nice shops and restaurants, museums, and so many other activities. The city is a playground of it’s own and I also enjoy visiting it. I don’t think I’d ever want to live in the city as my wolf yearns for the forest and the fresh mountain air. Jasper has entered the city. “How much longer?” I ask, unsure if I’m ready to have such an intimate evening with Matteo. This is a very real date we are about to go on and I’m not sure I’m ready for it. “About twenty minutes by the time we navigate this traffic.” Jasper grumbles. He clearly hates the city.
After a lovely dinner followed by yummy desert and slow dancing Matteo and I head up to our room. Our hotel suit is the stuff dreams are made of. There is a king size bed, a dresser with a huge TV on it, nightstands on either side of the bed, there is a small kitchenette area and a couch near the window. The bathroom is big and just as impressive. There is a huge soaking tub for two people, a decent sized shower stall, a counter with a sink and large mirror over it, and of course a toilet. Matteo really is going all out and I appreciate it. It was sweet of him to buy a baby book for me to make for our pup. I’m also thrilled to have my dad’s baby book back! Tonight was nice. It’s nice to see Matteo trying. I was touched by his gestures and words. Tonight I’m going to let it go of my anger and hurt towards him. Tonight is about feeling pleasure and enjoying sexual fun with my mate. I'm definitely look
Lana is finally going back to school today. I’m very grateful to Amara for her helping Lana through this difficult time. Lana’s tantrums are under control and she seems to be doing well with her grief. I’m not sure she has totally worked past the grief of losing her mother and she might not fully understand or accept the loss till she is older. For now Lana is in a much better spot than she was four months ago. Hard to believe it’s been over a month since Amara and I have been mates. Last week our little date in the city was nice. Letting Amara mark me was a big move and I know how much she appreciated the meaning of the gesture. I’m going to need to make big and important moves with Alana if I’m ever going to fully earn her forgiveness. I know I fucked up so bad in the begining. I’m pretty pissed at myself for how shitty I was to Amara. She must be a damn angel or something to put up with my asshol
Shadowing Matteo is turning out to be a little more fun than I anticipated. Things have been better between us, but we are still figuring out the right way to communicate with each other. We tend to say stupid stuff to the other one that ends up causing a little tiff between us. Luckly, the tiffs don’t last long. It’s a balance and we are still finding ours. It’s hard for us because it’s not just us we have to think about. Lana is our daughter now.Lana asked if I would adopt her and both Matteo and I agreed to it. The paperwork has been started and the pack lawyer is helping us with everything. I was shocked that Lana asked for me to adopt her. I know her and I have a mother daughter relationship for awhile now, I guess I just never realized how much Lana saw me that way.Ironically, I’m shocked by not only Lana’
Entering the restaurant with Amara following behind me. Frustration eats at me as the hostess shows us to our table. Of course they give me the best table on the outside patio overlooking the river. Amara sits down and offers an awkward smile as the hostess calls her Luna. She isn’t used to being called Luna, but she will get used to it. I was always used to being called Alpha. Even before I was officially Alpha and took over for my father, I was addressed as Alpha since I was the next one. Being Alpha was always so important to me. I saw it as a chance to prove myself to my parents and pack. While my parents are wonderful and they never forced me to be Alpha, I still felt this need to prove to them I could be just as good at leading the pack as they are. So I focused on bettering the pack. Making better trades and treaties. Formed alliances with other packs which is now coming in handy and soon the
Thankfully, lunch took a positive turn. I feel horrible for how I made Matteo feel. I hate that I hurt him. Of course, there is the part of me that is slightly satisfied that I hurt him after all the shit he’s done to me. I know I can’t think like that anymore. Matteo is truly trying to make our mate bond stronger. He’s changed his attitude vastly towards me. He has his moments, but then again we all do because I just had one that’s for sure. We spent most of lunch talking about our camping trip with Lana. I’m so excited. I haven’t been camping in ages. Actually, I don’t think I’ve been camping since my family left the pack. We used to go all the time. It was the one time that I didn’t feel totally left out. Camping was the one time I could feel like I really belonged with my family. Most of the time I felt like I was a burden. The extremely young
I’m in my new office. I have an official office as Luna in the pack house. It’s next to Matteo’s office. I was able to set up the way I wanted and even redecorate it. A little over a week has gone by since I started my official Luna duties. It’s going better than I thought and I’m doing things that match what I originally wanted to do with my life. When we had our meeting with Lana’s teachers they expressed concerns with the education system currently in place. Apparently, they had asked Cheryl many times in the past to help them revamp the education system. Cheryl kept declining them claiming she didn’t have time. This angered Matteo as he is now wondering what else Cheryl neglected as Luna. He hasn’t been thrilled with what he’s finding out. As I take over more and more Luna duties we are discovering that Cheryl wasn’t doing much to help the pack when they asked. No wonder they are thrilled she is