Memories Of My Past

BELLE’s P.O.V

“What are you doing here?” I was panicking until I heard his voice.

“Are you calmed down now?” He asks again.

I nodded.

He slowly loosen his grip around me as well as his hand covering my mouth.

“Why are you out here at this hour?” 

Woah, he’s talking a lot huh? What happens to the man with a few words? 

But should I tell him that I thought he was an assassin that my parents sent to kill me? 

It’ll be more awkward to say that, so I decided not to tell him. 

When I didn’t answer, he looked at me with his intense eyes.

I looked away. “I-I thought you’re a bad guy…” I said, half telling the truth and half telling a lie,  embarrassed by my actions.

I didn’t know it was him! If I knew from the start I wouldn’t come this far and why the hell would I come here and approach him first?

I glanced at him again, he’s wearing a different clothes he used, different from when they first got here. He’s also holding a glass with a red liquor inside. Is that a wine? Where did he get that?

“You can’t drink this.” He said.

What?

“Oh…” Hit by embarrassment, he saw me looking at his wine. He must have thought that I wanted to drink it. I’m tempted though, I didn’t reach adulthood in my past life so I didn’t get the chance to drink alcohol, even a sip. 

“Why are you here?” I ask him, trying to ignore his presence' impact on me as well as the embarrassment. 

He just shrugged and looked at the fountain. What’s with his attitude now?

He reminded me of May! They’ll surely pass as sister and brother!

A couple of minutes have passed, he doesn’t talk to me, he just stares at the fountain the whole time.

It’s a little awkward for me because we’re not really close and he doesn't say anything either. 

I don’t know what to say or what to do. Should I go now? But wouldn't it be rude for me to leave so sudden?

I looked at him again, he's still looking at the fountain while his hand's slowly move into a circle to mix his wine. 

He didn't even look at me! Let's just leave, he seems to not care anyway. 

“I’ll go now…” I didn’t look at him after I said that. I just walked without looking back at him.

While walking through the hallway, I can still feel his gaze. This hallway kind of looks like something you see in horror movies, it’s giving me an eerie feeling.

Is it really about the hallway or about his stare? 

"What am I thinking?" I shake my head.

 I started to walk faster.

When I got to my room, I let out a heavy sigh.

“Goodness…” I’m not sure as to why my heart is pounding so fast.

Is it because I thought he’s a bad guy or because we had an encounter and converse?

I don’t know if I am just hallucinating but I think I saw Mr. Hendrick somewhere. I just can't shrugged off that familiar feeling. 

Well, whatever the reason is, I should just move on. I should sleep!

I end my day by sleeping with a fast pounding heartbeat.

“WHAT happened to your face my lady?”

I wasn’t able to sleep last night . I keep thinking about Mr.Hendrick, even though I didn’t want to admit it, I sure thought of him last night.

“Argh!” I shouted.

May look at me with disbelief.

“Are you  in love my lady?”

I gasped.

I look at her with wide eyes, how does she…!

“I think I know who-“ I didn’t let her finish. I cover her mouth with my two hands. Her eyes remain the same.

“Shut up May!”

“mmhp.”

“You’re not going to tell anyone right!?” I need to make sure that she won’t open her mouth.

We had an eye to eye battle before I slowly uncovered her mouth.

“Don’t tell anyone…!”

She just stayed silently while waiting for my hands.

I hope she doesn’t open her mouth! When I removed my hands from her mouth, I stared at her. This girl stared back!

We stayed like that until she said something.

“Oh, it’s Mr.Hendrick!”

Oh Gosh!

MAY prepare our lunch, we’ll eat it here at the garden. It’s just the both of us because the tree man already departed, telling us that they have to arrive at the capital before night.

We are thankful to them because they helped us hunt cockroaches and rats before they go. They also help us to move the other furniture.

I am still embarrassed because of what May did a while ago,  Mr Hendrick looked at us.  Every time me and Mr Hendrick pass by each other I always see me looking at us with a straight face,  I know she’s just showing a straight face but I can see in her eyes that she is teasing me  and she wants to say something.

Should I just punch her one time?  Or let her sleep outside since I am the lady of this house. I’m thinking of punishing her but I can’t do that, she’s the only one I have and she helps me every time I need her. She’s also like my sister and my mother sometimes. She doesn’t nag at me but I can see it in her eyes! She can’t fool me!

This is my first time eating outside after I came here and even before I came here. I never experienced eating outside because I didn't have any friends back then.

I also tried to avoid anything that will anger my parents because they don’t want to see me with someone else even though they are just my friends, they want me to just focus on my studies and to be on top of my class.

I don’t even experience going on a vacation with my classmates or going on a field trip with them, how ironic that I do my best for my parents to be proud of me but they still didn't see me as a person, they just see me as someone who will give them accomplishments and medals. Someone who will make their family name well known for having achievements.

Right now that I am experiencing this kind of thing, I’m really happy.

I just hope that these feelings will last forever but I know that it’s impossible. First of all, this is not my body and I am just someone who trespassed into this world. I Still don’t know where this body’s owner is.

Looking back I was just someone who would just sit at the corner of the room,  scribble on my notes and read the comics that I bought. Back then I could spend my weekends just by reading a comic in my room because my adopted family we’ll go outside and eat outside but they'd never let me join them. I also have a sibling but we didn’t get along well.

I remembered that the day before I died on the earth I was reading a comic that has a tragic ending for the antagonist and a happy ending for the protagonist.

Suddenly, I had this feeling that I should remember something.

What is it?

I tilt my head to remember clearly what my mind wants me to remember, the first who comes to my mind is Mr Hendrick. What’s with him? How is he related to that memory of mine?

I definitely saw him somewhere, I have a good memory but because of this world it always makes me confused. I also forgot some things that I do or know before on Earth.

I looked at the flowers that May planted, they look beautiful and the sun helps them to shine more.

I tap my fingers through the table because I know that I am getting closer to that memory,  somehow I remember something…

I remembered the last comic that I have read that was entitled the villain should rest forever,  I was shocked by the fact that there was Mr.Hendrick in that comic.

As if I was struck by lightning, my body wasn’t able to move.

I now remember where I saw Mr.Hendrick! He is in that comic!

“Oh my gosh…”

He is that male lead! The one that I love the most in the comic! Oh my gosh!

He’s the one that has many fangirls and is even famous on social media! 

I remembered seeing his poster on one of the train stations near our school and I always heard my classmates talking about him. I even wanted to butt in and join them but since we’re not close, I can’t do that. 

I gasped at the thought. I can’t believe it! Why am I transmigrated in that comic despite Earth having billions of comics around the world!? I close my eyes intently. 

May appear holding the tray that contains our lunch.

“My lady?” She asks. 

I shook my head in disbelief while May prepared our table and sat down on the chair across from mine.

What should I do? I didn’t expect to be transmigrated to a world inside a comic!

I’m the antagonist! My gosh! Does this mean I’m going to die in this world as well? 

I can't accept that! Why would I be transmigrated to another world just to die?  Where’s the justice in that? 

I can’t remove the thought that I was about to die the second time, although my life is already in danger ever since I got here, but that’s because of my parents’ scheme and I can avoid that, but the death by the hands of the male lead is something different!

My mind is somewhere else while we're having lunch,  I feel like may want to ask me something but kept her mouth shut.  That’s the one thing I like about her, everywhere she can clearly read the mood all the time.

After we had our lunch I went straight to my room and found a pen and paper that listed the things that I still remembered in that comic.

“Alright let’s get started.”

I first listed the names of the protagonist and antagonist. Unfortunately, I am one of the antagonists and Mr Hendrick is the male lead. The female lead will be Jamaica Flowers.

Jamaica is someone who sells flowers, that’s also the reason why people call her Jamaica Flowers. Her mother was a slave who died because of being beaten to death by it’s master. But thankfully someone helped Jamaica. That's why she didn't meet the end like her mother. That man was a soldier of the empire who’s doing a raid to that slave house and he pity Jamaica that’s why he helped her. 

She wasn’t orphaned at the age of six, then she was kept by her uncle but her uncle treated her badly and wanted to sell her off so she decided to run away from home, that’s where she met a lady who sells flowers.

Thankfully that lady is so kind that she took care of Jamaica, she taught Jamaica how to read and how to write as well as how to count.  She treated Jamaica as her own child but she fell ill and died due to a serious illness.

She sold flowers for almost two years until she met Mr.Hendrick. They fall in love with each other at first sight but then this antagonist can't accept that fact because she is deeply in love with Mr Hendrick.

She did all to make the two separate and hate each other. She even poisoned Jamaica and did violent things to her,  everything and every one that Jamaica has suffered because of the antagonist.  She tried everything but she didn't succeed, Mr. Hendrick found out her plans in the past, and the things that she did to Jamaica,  he punished the antagonist until she couldn't bear it anymore. He made her live in the prison, no one wants to talk to her. They didn’t even feed her. Her family didn’t even visit her or help her during that time. She was always alone, that's why she didn’t last long. She took her own life.

That is how the antagonist meets her end.  I don’t want that! I will do everything just to stay alive!  Even living as invisible!

I spent the night listing everything from the time where they will meet and the time that things will start to happen.  Right now I don’t have anyone on my back, I haven’t even met my family but for sure they will never help me with anything. I am not also close with the male lead so I’m not sure if he will not punish me in the future.

May entered my room before midnight. 

“Why are you still up, My Lady?” 

“I was just reading some books, I can’t fall asleep at the moment.” I made an excuse. 

“Do you want milk or something?” 

“No, it’s okay.” I refused. 

Later on, she left while I went back to planning. 

I have to plan wisely. Maybe I wouldn’t meet my end if I didn’t meet the female lead or the male lead, right?  Maybe I would not be killed if I didn’t get in their way. Of course I wouldn’t try everything to make the male lead suffer because I don’t care about her!

I have to list all the places that I can build a house. I have to find a place that is quiet to make sure that I will never meet the female lead. I don’t  care about them though! They can live happily ever after or whatever. I just want to live a happy life and a quiet one to relax and have a piece of mind. I can just sell my assets and find a place to live.

Oh my gosh!

What am I saying? I feel like I’ve been saying the same thing all this time! Okay I need to calm down but this is making me nervous! I can’t even remember the whole story so I’m not sure if I can avoid all the things that’ll make me meet the female lead!

I want to shout, why should I experience this kind of thing and why am I destined to die?! I just want to live!