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21 || She broke my heart
CALUM
London is the same as I remember. Loud, bubbly, with its citizens rushing off like they all have an emergency. We arrived a few hours ago. The boys crashed once they were shown their room, but me, I haven’t been able to sleep a wink. Not even on the flight here.I fluff some pillows, plant my head between two of them and force myself to sleep. My brain is a mess, my mind is a sea of images and memories. Scott hasn’t found the PI yet but he’s working on it. I make an X sign on my chest with my arms. If Cathy was here, what would she say? You need to rest, Cal.
Her sweet, soft, seductive voice is a lamp in the darkness inside my head. My eyes shut. The next time they open, grey clouds hover outside my window. I stagger to the window and pull the curtains close. My brain is muddled, and my body feels like jelly. I stub my toe against the box I left on the floor and hop on one foot to the bed. Pain skyrockets through my feet as I settle d
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To Tempt My Stepbrother 22 || No breakdowns
CALUMI wake up with a pounding headache. I peel one eye open and shut it immediately. Who is breaking things inside my head? Blindly reaching for a pillow, I place it over my head and scream into the bed.What the hell?Someone nudges my foot. “Cal? Calum?”I steal a peek at the person. It’s not just one person. There are two of them. Green and hazel eyes peering down at me. They look concerned. Did something bad happen?Hazel eyes stretches a glass of water to me and green eyes hands over the pills. I gulp down the water first, then take the pills.They settle down at the foot of my bed. Sam is the quiet one, nothing surprising but Lucas is a different story. Only now...“Why are you guys acting weird?” I ask.I sneak under the covers and pull it over my chest. The animals in my head hammer away at my skull. It might take a while for the drugs to work. This is why I shou
To Tempt My Stepbrother 23 || Grown men cry
CALUMA ghost of a smile flies across my lips as soon as those words leaves Lucas. I must have terrified him if he’s this riled up.“I’ll try,” I murmur.They both give my shoulders a squeeze and part for me to exit. I backtrack to my room, grab my wallet and sunglasses. There’s no time for a disguise. I’ll just have to deal with being popular, that’s if anyone will notice me. We are bigger in New York.Mum calls on my way out of Caleb’s house and my finger automatically hits the decline button. How could she? What was the reason? What excuse or explanation can she give that would make this better?My phone rings again. I put it on silent mode and slide it into my pocket. Mum has done her best, it’s time for me to do mine.It takes only seventeen minutes to get a cab that will take me to Cathy’s address. It might have been my accent, but a lot of them have to ask me
To Tempt My Stepbrother 24 || Deleted account
Amelia didn’t return on Monday like she planned. I kind of expected it, so when she called a month ago to inform me, I was not surprised. The only issue is having to wait for her return, which might not happen soon. Ashley is home, and they have family trips and outings to plan before she leaves.On the bright side, it means I don’t have to mention Mr Dissick. She doesn’t have to know he was here, that he hugged me and my body recognised him before it dawned on me how much I loathed his existence.Jason and I agreed not to mention it to her. By now, he has figured out who Mace’s dad is, but it’s still my choice to tell Amelia about the encounter. How dare him walk in there like it’s a regular date at a pub and hug me? What does he think I am? A doormat who waited for her stepbrother?I click my tongue and turn on my laptop. I don’t care what his story is, I don’t forgive him. My heart pounds when an image of him fl
To Tempt My Stepbrother 25 || Just hair
He deleted his BC account, deactivated his email and his number is still unreachable. I don’t know if to laugh at myself or curl into a ball and cry. I don’t know how to feel. I tug the cover over my head, curling into a foetal position. Everything seems to be in shambles. Amelia doesn’t pick my calls. Ashley doesn’t want me at their house. I’m still pitifully clueless.Jason.Jason might know. I yank the cover off me and dial his number. I haven’t seen him since that night. I didn’t get to see him perform. Mace sneezes. I push a hand into his crib and he accepts it. He has no idea what I’ve done. That I saw his father.Will he forgive me? If we are to apportion blame, Dad will take the highest share, then me. Pushing myself closer to the edge of the bed, I peer into my son’s crib.“Uncle Jason isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. He pushes himself to his knees, and his hand locks around the
To Tempt My Stepbrother 26 || Bestest friend
I pace in front of Amelia’s parents house. I lied. Ten days is too long to wait. Did she really expect me to stay away for that long?The sound of a hiccup draws my attention to my son sleeping in the baby carrier slung to my chest. Even his hiccups sound cute. Still asleep, he suckles the air. I brush the tip of his nose with my pinky finger, and he pouts. I might have brought him as a peace offering. Amelia can’t be mad if she sees her godson.That thought lends me courage to knock for the first time. I’ve been here for ten minutes. But when the door opens, I plaster a fake smile and act like I just got here.“Hey, Cathy.” Ashley steps out. Her face is tired, and she has aged since the last time I saw her. She sizes me up. “You look weird.”“It’s the makeup,” I exclaim. It’s not only the makeup. It’s my entire appearance. I’m also not used to it. She hums in
To Tempt My Stepbrother 27 || Heartbreak sucks
CALUMThe thick smell of smoke clogs the air. I pull out the joint between my teeth and puffs of smoke escape my lips and nose. My eyes water as the choking smell of weed invades the studio. It will take a while for me to get used to smoking this much. Not like it helps, it only dulls the pain for a few hours.Heartbreak sucks.A door opens somewhere behind me. It has to be one of my nosy bandmates, and I’m proved right when someone snatches the blunt from my hand and stomps it on the floor. I glare at their foot, my gaze trailing up to the face of a very unimpressed Sam.“You can’t smoke in here,” Sam says.“Who says?”“I do. It’s my fucking house,” he mutters.I almost roll my eyes. He shouldn’t invite me over then if he will police my behaviour.Stopping behind me, he places a hand on my shoulder. The door opens, but I don’t bother to check the
To Tempt My Stepbrother 28 || Will you sing?
I arrived at Wells a day earlier. Excitement and nervousness lance through me. My steps falter as I rush up the front of Amelia’s house with my bundle of joy. Mace’s pacifier keeps him from making a sound. So far, he has been compliant, but I know he will go on his knees the first chance he gets. Now that he can crawl, no one or nothing can stop him from exploring.The door opens, and Ashley smiles. The rat nest on her head is a testament of the toll this journey has taken on all of us involved. Lucky me never have to worry about hair. All it takes is a brush through it and I’m good.“At this point, you deserve a key,” she says.I laugh it off. Pushing my way in without an invitation, my eyes scan the dim place. The living room is empty. Jason must be in Amelia’s room. Ashley pads in after me. She makes a funny face at Mace, and my son giggles around his pacifier. I turn around to face her.“Do you want to c
To Tempt My Stepbrother 29 || Music
CALUMMusic explodes in my ears. My foot bounces on the same spot and my knuckles drum against my knee. I cross my forearms on my forehead, immersed in the sound of my voice. The sound I share with the world. My music. Music. It’s the only thing that matters right now, and maybe weed. The boys would love for me to try and mingle, but I haven’t been able to get far. Kissing or trying to be intimate with another woman feels like cheating on Cathy, which doesn’t make sense since she moved on. I should do the same. Maybe after this tour. A nudge on my knee causes my forearms to separate. Sam. Lucas. Scott. I straighten up.The boys wave. Their frowns rub me off the wrong way, and my annoyance is a tad evident in the way I say, “What’s up?”This had better not be another intervention to stop staying indoors or quit the weed. I have reduced my intake. Now, I only smoke when I’m mostly nervous or bored or trying to stay alive. Lucas throws himself on a couch. His lips move but I don’t he
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