CALUMSomeone is tapping me. I blink sleepily until my blurred vision clears. Cathy grins. I like that she’s smiling. Without thinking, I reach for her cheeks but she ducks in time.“Did you just get here?” she asks.“Get here? I never left, Cathy.” Except to clear my head downstairs. My reply brings another smile to her lips. “Are you done?” “Yeah.” Jumping to my feet, I offer her my hand. “Ready to go?” She laces our fingers. “Yeah.” “You did good,” I remind her.“You don’t know that for sure,” she says. But her steps are more relaxed as we begin the descent down the stairs. I catch her stares a few times and bump my hip into hers. “I love you,” I whisper.Cathy hears me but doesn’t reply. What if she wasn’t lying about moving on, that she’s not in love with me anymore, and I’m a means to an end. A venting machine. Sex was an outlet for her in the past. I don’t mind being that outlet but I want everything. The sex. The cuddles. The kisses. The love. The light bulb moments.“Ar
Ebun thinks I should sort out my emotions, heal right before getting into any romantic entanglement. She didn’t mention Calum, she doesn’t know him but she knows I have a baby daddy who wants to be involved in my life. It was a suggestion, an opinion, not a fact. That’s one of her favourite lines. I think she says that so she can’t get in trouble with her clients. I like her until she starts with the deep, thought-provoking questions.I place a gown on the bed and step back to picture myself in it. I have another session with her later in the day. Calum volunteered to drive me. He lives here now. Jason stops by more often for Calum to practise with his guitar. That vision of the two men bonding over music is one Amelia would have loved to see. But it’s okay. She’s in her world, she is watching all of us. And it’s not my fault. It’s not her fault she’s not here. It’s just life. A tear rolls down the corner of my eyes and I wipe it off. Ebun thinks crying is good. I think sex is better
CALUMThe boys are on their way to London. I stare at the phone, trying to process the phone call that just happened. The door to Mace’s room opens. Cathy’s head pokes in. I’m not sure how to tell her. The boys will be staying over at Caleb’s place. I’ll have to move or go there often to practise. They have done their part, I’ll need to step up.“Hey.” She steps in and shuts the door with her feet. Laughing, she waves. “Hey again.”“Hey,” I reply. “Mace?”“Asleep.”We glance outside the window. It’s dark. I rub a hand over my eyes. A short check in trip has turned into a near-permanent stay. I don’t regret it.Cathy covers the distance but keeps a foot of space between us. “Um, are you okay?” “I am. You?”She nods. “Bored.”“Do you w
CALUMA ringtone jerks me awake. I blink slowly, the weight crushing my body stopping me from rolling over to the other side freely. Peering down at the figure curled against my body, everything rolls into my mind. Cathy is here. I kiss her cheek but she only stirs, tilting her head in the process as if to give more of herself to me for a proper kiss. My hand slides under her boob and I trace a circle around her taut, pink nipple. Her body has changed. If I thought she was sexy two years ago, then I was ignorant. She’s sexier now. More feminine. I detangle myself from Cathy before my dick takes over. Speaking of dicks, the fine man stands at attention, the tip leaking with precum. My eyes drop to Cathy’s pert butt, and blood flows to my cock. She never has to make an effort to seduce me, her existence is a drug. I put on the first item of clothing I find, which thankfully, is my shorts.Cathy’s phone’s screen lights up but before it rings, I hit the volume button. Pete is calling. S
I don’t know what I’m doing with Calum, not anymore. Declaring my love for him was not in the plan. But acting like he doesn’t own my heart has grown impossible. I love him.A knock on the door alerts me of Calum’s presence. I drop my phone inside the drawer and pretend to be asleep. There was enough time to put on clothes but I stayed in bed. The mattress sinks under Calum’s weight. His lips touch my forehead and my eyes fly open. Speechless, I smile at him.“Hey,” he whispers. I have been awake for a while, watching him and Mace through my phone. “I was checking in with Mace. I fed and bathed him,” he says like a happy child.“Yeah? I haven’t been checking in on him as much,” I admit.Calum has taken over since his arrival. The way he pays attention to Mace always makes my heart sing. It feels like I had so much weight on my shoulders and as soon as we had an agreement,
Calum’s friends are unbelievable. They are too much, but in a good way. I wince as Sam tosses Mace up. Unlike Calum, he doesn’t toss him so high but my hand goes over my chest, and my heart beats normally when he drops Mace to the floor. Calum returns to my side and throws his arm around my shoulders. I lean into him and smile. It has grown so easy to settle into this undefined role. I know he wants more but is being patient with me.“How are you?” he whispers into my ear. His lips meet my temple, and I cock my head to the side. Calum catches himself from kissing me. My nose wrinkles, and he laughs. “What’s that face for, superstar?”“Nothing.”“Are you having fun?”“Kind of.” He frowns. I fix it by saying, “Yes. They are nice. I’m glad you have such friends.”Calum nods. “Me too. Want to check out the home studio? Caleb has
CALUMMy smile is permanent. I’ve been smiling since we boarded the plane to Manchester. But the thought of seeing Mum dampens the mood. I look towards Cathy to seek comfort from her but she’s fast asleep. Mace is also asleep in my arms. The boys have the seats behind us and are probably asleep. I can’t seem to sleep. I’m scared of Cathy’s and my reaction to seeing Mum. I’m nervous about her opening act for us. She’s singing one song, an original titled: Pretty angel. I curl a piece of her hair around my finger. Her hair is at shoulder length now. Cathy’s head drops to her shoulder as her snores increase. I stretch my body towards her and tilt her head so the weight is on my shoulder instead of hers. She moans but doesn’t move. Moments later, she mutters something under her breath. She jerks, twisting in her space beside the window. I shake her gently and her eyes flutter open.Fear shadows her features for the first few seconds. I use my free hand to cup her face.“Hey, I’m here,”
The bed is empty when I wake up. Mace is still in his crib but Calum’s side of the bed is warm. My son is awake but quiet. He tilts his head as he inspects the ceiling. I pout, pressing my thumbs to my temples as my other fingers wiggle. He waves a little and his hand drops. Mace hasn’t gotten around to making coherent sentences Calum can decipher but I know he will come around soon.Mace’s arms circle his ankles, he blinks up at me and gurgles. “Ma,” he sneezes out. I pause. Did... did he... He burrows his head into his bed, and his chin juts out. “Ma-ma.”A scream dies in my throat, and I clap a hand over my mouth. They did inform me that my baby’s speech might be delayed because he was a preemie but nothing, not even the mumble-jumble I had grown used to hearing, prepares me for this moment.Excitement seeps into my veins. I grab both sides of his crib. “Mace,” I whisper. He smiles