Lance
Dianna’s performance was just as sickening as what we’ve all been expecting from her. We don’t get to see a lot of his performance but every time we do, he’s giving it his all. He performed a total of five songs and probably earned a lot of cash than the next drag queen’s following the line-up. We saw a lot of people really cheering and screaming to her lip-sync performance and they kept on throwing cash at him.
I met Daniel, Timothy and Bradey during my freshmen year in college and honestly they were the first group of friends that I’ve met. We just instantly clicked and that was the point where I regret not making a lot of friends back in high school. I was so focused on being the golden boy and being the perfect student that I greatly missed the real thrill that high school life has to offer.
I remember those early college days when Daniel was still very much hidden in the closet. I guess he was afraid of being judged and bullied but the moment I admitted that I was bisexual, he quickly followed up and just came out of the closet knowing that I’m part of the community that he was in. While I was a bit stoic at the time, it was very emotional for Daniel. That was one of the best moments of my life mostly because Bradey and Timothy were very much supportive of us. They never showed disgust or anything that’s very homophobic. They were very accepting of us and even though they had a lot of annoying questions to ask back then, Daniel and I joined forces and just educated them thus making our friendship stronger.
“Wow! I cannot believe you fucking did that. That was a great performance, Dianna! You did amazing!” Bradey bellowed the moment Dianna came back to our table.
“You killed that!” I trailed.
“Thank you so much, guys!” Dianna replied cheerfully. She had already changed back to his casual black maxi dress which meant she doesn’t have anything else to do other than to drink and get fucked up with us.
Dianna and Bradey had a moment where they did chest bumps and fist bumps as if they’re playing basketball and someone just score a three pointer shot. It was fun seeing them have fun and just let loose. The alcohol really got into their system as they were very hyper and they were just bursting in laughter.
We resumed drinking knowing that the night is still quite young. The club was still very much filled with people and most of them are at the front stage where a drag queen was performing.
Three hours later, I stared blankly at the last bottle of beer clasped on my left hand, the rush of alcohol coursing through my body was already making my eyesight a bit blurry and my head dizzy. I felt blank, completely nothing, like it was just a void of emptiness. And I guess that’s the beauty of being drowned in alcohol, it has the ability to erase every thought, whether frivolous or the most serious ones that are running amok around your mind but that’s only because no one’s triggering something. Minute by minute, the room goes even hotter and hotter, the people inside are going crazier and crazier; every drop of alcohol was knocking someone out of their consciousness.
Bradey, now drunk as fuck, went dancing with some random girl who had the nerve to just come to our table and pull someone. Timothy, the weakest of us, was now lying subconsciously on the couch, blabbering random things under his breath and on his left was Dianna retouching his lipstick and looking rather normal than any of us.
Dianna doesn’t seem to be drunk at all. I know she just had a lot of cocktail with extra shots of vodka in her system but she doesn’t seem to be tipsy at all. In the long years of drinking and partying, it was her strategy to drink while in total control of herself, taking just the right sip and letting it pass out of her body before taking another sip, in that way she won't get easily drunk and he would successfully keep his state of soberness.
"I think we need to go home now." Dianna puckered her lips, gathering it into small wrinkles to make the shade look natural and sticky.
I heard what she said but I don’t feel like going home just yet. I’m sure it’s pretty early and even though I’m already drunk, I still want to get wasted. I ended up keeping my mouth shut and didn’t give a response to Dianna.
"Oh, you all knocked out again? Seriously?" Dianna seemed flustered when no one answered her.
She reached for her hand bag then fished her phone. She took several selfies, taking her time to get the right angle of her face that screamed fierce.
"What if I try dating a man instead?" I spoke out of the blue immediately capturing Dianna’s attention. I adjusted myself on the couch to find the right comfort.
Dianna responded with a loud burst of laughter that is immediately drowned by the loud music as I just stared at her with great level of seriousness in my face.
“Exclusively?” Dianna asked the moment she realized that I was being serious.
“Exclusively!” I trailed.
"Hahahaha! What did you just say?" Gagging helplessly, Dianna returned her cellphone inside her bag and then reverted her gaze to focus on me.
"I said I might try dating a guy, exclusively." I beamed at her expressing my desire to date men exclusively. I don’t even know if that disqualifies me for being a bisexual.
"You are kidding right?" Dianna spat and gave me a "don't-fuck-with-me" look that translated perfectly.
“Does that disqualifies me for identifying as a bisexual?” I asked out of pure curiosity.
"All those girls that I’ve dated just kept on dumping me if I don’t dump them first. No one even really tried to linger a bit longer." I began to talk in a very serious manner even focusing my body language towards Dianna and that brought her inner consciousness to a ten. She emptied the last glass of cocktail then gently placed the empty glass on the table.
"Yeah, that's your curse, I guess." She replied and even though I know it was just a joke, I felt like she’s not being serious with me.
"You know we are already approaching our thirty’s and soon, the more we get older the harder we get the chance to finding true love." I continued basically rounding up our age.
"Just get to it already." Dianna urged seemingly eager to hear my point.
"And I've been thinking, what if the real reason behind why I can't stay in a serious relationship a lot longer is because I'm not really into girls?" The point just crossed my mind a while ago. I don’t even know why I said that but it was worth telling Dianna what was going through my mind.
I’m sure I still like girls but it seemed like every time I date girls nothing’s really sticking longer. Sometimes, they are problem and other times, I am the problem and I always end up dating guys right after too.
"What if I try dating guys and guys only? What if I stay away from girls from this point on?” I hashed out once again. The thought was just boggling my mind and I don’t know if this was because of the alcohol inside my system or perhaps this was one of the things that’s been keeping me down.
"That is very unlikely of you." Dianna pushed the thought out.
"I'm serious, Dianna. Maybe I’m not really bisexual at all and that’s the reason why I always end up heartbroken." I snapped.
Jayler“How’s your studies going, Jayler?” My mom asked when I got to the breakfast table this morning.It was just a normal conversation that me and sister go through once every week so it was basically expected. My mom’s always asking and checking on us every chance she gets.“Good. Everything’s doing great.” I replied which was certainly the case. Everything’s doing great at school and there’s absolutely nothing to hide. Well, except for the stuff that I’ve been doing, the partying and all of that shit.“Are you sure about that?” My mom uttered expressing her uncertainty.“Maaaa, you know I have been doing good at school. You’ve seen proof time and time again.” I replied slightly annoyed that she was unsure of me when she clearly knows that I haven’t sucked at school. She had see
JaylerFor the rest of the period, I couldn't focus on anything that Mrs. Wanson was saying. Everything that’s coming out of her mouth sounded gibberish like she just came somewhere from planet Mars and decided to do teaching. My mind was helplessly conquered by the thought of being expelled. I know the letter doesn’t literally say that this was my last day at school but the thought of me being potentially expelled out of this school was killing me from the inside out.I have seen this scenario playing out in my head and honestly, I was pretty much certain that it won’t happen at all. But I didn’t realize it was actually going to happen even having the smallest chances of actually happening. I don’t really have to know the reason for the letter of expulsion coming in because I’m a hundred percent that it was all because of the photos that were posted online. That’s got to be it. I can’t think of anything else other than that.I’m very much aware that a lot of people saw the photos and
JaylerI stared blankly at the vintage looking crucifix hanging idly at the door of Sister Salvador’s office. The crucifix appeared as if it’s been hanging there for over a century or even more than that. It’s definitely looking not that dusty, perhaps it’s been receiving far better care than most of the other crucifix hanging at every classroom.I wondered how many head nuns have been here before the time of Sister Salvador.Was she the first and only cold-hearted nun to ever become the head of this Catholic school?My heart began to race the moment I raised my hand to knock on the door. It became apparent to me that I’m not ready to face this moment quite yet. Still, I don’t have any other choice but to face this rather than delay it.I paused for a moment and closed my eyes. I tried to search for a bit of courage and I may have found an iota of it. For once, I was hoping that the head of this school will cut me some slack and hopefully doesn’t end up pushing the expulsion. I took a
JaylerThe day ended horribly, and I’m pretty sure my face was a moving visual of pure devastation, with the sad and frustrated aura overpowering me. I was trying my best to shake the anxiety but no matter how I distract myself, there are other thoughts that are quick to take over and I always end up circling back to square one. When I went to meet up with Jasper and Kenneth at the usual spot where we always wait for each other and hang out before going home, I noticed the pitiful look in their faces.“You guys, you need to stop looking at me like that.” I expressed my utter disapproval of them looking as if I just experienced that worst shit that could ever happen to me. To be perfectly honest, this was the worst experience, however, I might have to end that sentence with the word ‘yet’ because I’m pretty sure this isn’t the worst that could happen to me.“We just feel bad for you, man.” Jasper replied.“I know, but it is what it is.” I mumbled as I took a seat on the slab of cement
LanceI went home last night feeling a bit relieved about this lingering thought and feeling that somehow something heavy has been lifted from my heart. I may have shed some tears, I don’t quite recall what happened but the bottom line of things was I felt a rush of relief. I know it’s just a temporary thing but I wouldn’t be that one greedy person to ask for more. Having that conversation with Daniel was just the break and kind of a pep talk that I needed just to get through this week.I was highly expecting to have a really horrible hangover after having a blast with my friends and I was exactly right. I woke up on the left side of the bed, almost at the very edge and on the verge of falling over. My head was banging and the dehydration was unbearable that I had to crawl my way to the kitchen to get something to drink.By the time I got to the fridge, I grabbed the whole pitcher of ice cold water that I just stored when I got home drunk. I was really wasted but I still thought of pu
LanceThe afternoon sunlight provided such bright filament strips into the crevices of the blinds and for a long moment, I have no clear apprehension of moving out of the bed and actually doing something. It’s still my day off at the café and I still have plenty of time to just slack off and be the lazy person that I want to be. I feel like I have no energy and that I just want to lay in bed all afternoon before going to my singing gigs. I just stared blankly at the strips of light that’s been trying to bring its brightness into this darker room that I am currently in.At first I was just lying motionless; my eyes were fully transfixed at the cheap chandelier that hung lazily on the ceiling and then back to the blinds. There’s really nothing going on inside my head for a while until a memory suddenly popped up out of nowhere. The tangy memories of my old life back when I still in high school just flashed before my eyes and it was like glass shards stabbing me in the chest. I didn’t wa
LanceCoffee shops are one of the best places to hang out and have a good conversation with someone but if there's one thing that I hated about coffee shops, that is it's where all of the long and poisonous tentacles of several networking companies thrive. It's where they spread their self-structured pathological lies in order to convince their victim into joining their company. A total scam. It became clear to me that I wasn’t set up for a blind date but I was set up for this bullshit of a scam.Networking companies are not bad totally and that’s only if you're at the upper line of the pyramid but if you're one down under, most likely the bottom of it, there's nothing bad like the spawning discrepancies and failures and lies at that. People are just investing their money for little to nothing in return.This was aggravating to me. Hitting the streets, my feet walked faster and faster asthough I was a galloping horse in a horse-racing. I didn’t want to look back even though I know th
Jayler"Here are your drinks.” I heard someone from behind and when I turn my head around, it was Lance holding a tray with our drinks in it. He gently transferred the drinks onto the table."Thank you." I muttered trying my best to have the best smile."Now that I've noticed it, why do you look so down all of a sudden?" Lance inquired his voice was clear but I didn’t even know he was talking to me.“That’s because he’s about to be expelled, something like that.” Kenneth spat and that’s the moment I realized Lance was actually talking to me. I kicked Kenneth’s feet under the table but he seemed unbothered by it. He just grabbed his Matcha and stabbed it with the straw.“What? Why?” Lance sounded shocked and I couldn’t even look at him in the eye because I know he’s a good guy and I’m just this messed up high school kid. I don’t personally know the guy and I’m ashamed that he has to know about my current situation.“It’s nothing really.” I tried brushing it off. Kenneth and his loose l