Chapter Seven

“Are you ready to go with us this weekend when we take you back to your in-laws because you are too young to leave the marriage and come and sit at home? No man will marry a woman who is coming from another homestead.”

What the? I would not be rude I promised that inner voice inside but I was boiling. Father set up straight looking at us. I knew when he was looking like that at us that the results would not be pleasant. He was not as impulsive as the rest of his family.

“I do not understand your point, ankazi. Please clarify.”

That was as calm as I could get. My mother just shook her head and looked at her.

“You can’t expect that all those cows which had calves, and some calves had calves also to go back. Besides the humiliation, my brother’s riches will vanish.”

“I am the wife and I am not complaining about the vanishing riches. What will be the use of having riches when one can never enjoy with their children? Those cows were not even part of our herd. We are fine we will not get hungry soon.”

My mother was about to lose her calm. “I thought you came to enjoy a meal with us, as you have stated. You haven’t seen her since last year but the first thing you do is pick a fight with her.”

I wanted to laugh at my mother but that was going to anger my aunt.

“Ankazi, I am not going back to my husband. It will never happen even if you plan on taking me there I will not even entertain it.”

“Usebere makora, wapurika? You must be careful do you hear me?”

She was getting waked up as if she was the one who was going to go to Joseph. She looked at my father for some backup but he had gone back to watching his news. I think he didn’t want to be rude to his sister, as he loved her.

“So you are going to encourage your child to be the talk of the town?”

“People will talk. You do good they will talk, you do bad they will add some spices. You help them they will complain you don’t help they will feel entitled. I will never worry about what people are saying. When I raised Asante, they thought I was a fool you included aunty. Now you are the one at the entourage's forefront, sending me to a useless husband you once said he is. I still love him but I will not stand the fact that I am always the last priority in my life.

For once I am thinking about choosing my happiness. Instead of asking me why I left, you are sending me back to people who almost killed me because the child had an accident. They crucified me for a mistake even a biological mother could have done. I am not a ‘working wife’, as you claim I am. I am just a money-making machine. I have been taking care of that family since I said ‘I do’ but I was not complaining. Those are material things I will not talk about it I will talk about how depressed I have been as I never mentioned it. His mother stayed with us more than she stayed with her family. She found faults in everything I was doing even though I was trying my best.

She loved the baby mama more than me the actual daughter-in-law. I was even told in my face how useless I was for not giving Joseph children. It was worse because the person who was supposed to protect me was so weak to do so and cared less. Is it a crime to care about myself for one? I have been in a relationship with Joseph since college and I missed my youth but I didn’t live my young life in my marriage. So now is it too much to ask for if I want some happiness and peace. I want to go to work like any normal person and go grocery shopping. I want to take a day off just to read or watch television. Is that too much to ask for?”

I didn’t realise that I was crying. I guess the pains of all those years of abuse were coming back to me. I wiped my tears and left them there. I had lost my appetite. My aunt had her eyes popping from their sockets. I was glad I said all those things in front of my parents which meant I was never talking about it again. My brother and sister would never ask me. They worried about making money and I was happy about it. When one is hurting, it helps to talk about something other than depressing stuff.

When I was about to go and bathe, my father knocked and came in. He was looking depressed, and I hated it as it was because of my depressing life.

“Mayamiko, you are my daughter and I love you. I will never send you back to that hellhole. Your aunt is so traditional you know that but we cannot let culture and all those things affect our future. I love you and I will never get bored with taking care of you my children. As long as your decision is final, then you will say the word so that I can send back their cows.”

He was serious, and I knew it was time to send them back. They were going to think things are back to normal as long as the cows were at home.

“I am glad you understand. I spoke to my mother when I got here. I am not going back there. I am starting afresh. If I am an outcast so be it. I was losing myself every passing day.”

“We are here for you to start afresh. Even if it means killing people who are troubling you.”

We both laughed. “Even my aunt, your favourite sister?”

“Yes, even my sister will face me.”

“I am glad I have your support, then. Let me go and bath.”

He nodded and left my room. I was relieved, as I was uncertain of his decision when my aunt was busy with me.

It was the first time I rested since the Asante fiasco. I had switched off my phone as Joseph kept on calling and sending messages. I would not deal with him. When I woke up in the morning, my parents had left to their different commitments. It didn’t matter where you were born but the early rising was a normal thing in our community.

I was stressed because I was not used to Lilongwe at that time but I was going to navigate it. I called Streetwaves Taxi Services when I was done. I didn’t want to use public transportation as I was going to use it for a while.

When I got to Lilongwe police station I was helped with no time. I went to Bwandilo Market. I knew they sold a variety of vegetables. I loved cooking with vegetables as I loved healthy eating. At first, it was to conceive, but I ended up enjoying eating healthy food. I was not a cook but cooking was instilled in most African women as they were expected to take care of their families. I would not make that mistake again. Once I was done mopping around, I was going to look for a hunk that was going to treasure me and help me cook some meals for my family.

I laughed at the thought and shook my head. As usual, the place was full and some women working with their children on their backs. Women were born to suffer, I thought to myself. It felt so good to do things by myself without worrying about a call from my husband.

When my parents got home, I was almost done cooking.

“It smells divine in here. Did you go to the market?”

“Yes, I did. I passed there from the police station.

“Police station!” they both exclaimed.

“Yes, I opened a case for Joseph, as he doesn’t want with my car. I also do not want him to trouble me when I go and pick up my things from the house.”

“You did a good job. At least there is a brain in that head after all. I was worrying if I paid fees for nothing.”

I laughed, hiding my face. My mom was worried but dad showed her how important and necessary. My brother joined us for dinner but he was extremely quiet. I thought one of his girlfriends was giving him trouble.

“Family, I wanted to inform you I will be travelling to Mzimba tomorrow.”

“When are you coming back?” My mother was surprised.

“I am going to come back when I am feeling emotionally better to integrate.”

My brother laughed. “You sound like an addict who is going to rehab in some rehabilitation centre in the wild. You watch too many movies, my little sister.”

Instead of being angry at him, I laughed along with the family.

“So you know, I was addicted to misery so I need to remove that from my system. I told the police to contact you regarding the car and my furniture. It is not much but I need it. When I come back, I will look for a rental place. I want to start on a new leaf so that I see where I went wrong,”

There is quiet for some time when my brother asked.

“Are you going to rent when there is too much space here?”

“I am not doing it for fun. If you want to know, I will be here daily like you are doing now.”

“I give you my blessing. Safe travels and we will talk about your move when you are coming back.” my father said.

“Do not forget to go with your uncle’s goods. I hope there will be a car waiting for you there in Chatheroma. I hate when one had to wait for a car that is going inside.”

“I wish I thought about calling him earlier. I know his phone is off. Before you offer to take me, I would love to travel by bus.”

“I hope I am not on the list of people who were going to take you there.” my brother protested.

We laughed and enjoyed our food. It was as if the past years never happened. I was going to change my sim card as Joseph was troubling me.

The following morning, my boss called me. I was surprised, and I was scared he was going to fire me.

“Miss Nyirenda, how are you doing? I cannot ask you how you are holding up.”

I smiled and replied. “I am trying as for holding up I am not sure as I am yet to process all this.”

“If you need time to process, I do not mind at all. Take all the time you need, I will push the deadlines to the next month or two.”

“Are you serious? So you are not firing me?”

He laughed at me. “You want my wife to divorce me for firing her star employee? I will never fire you. I was only calling to ask if you can move to the main branch in Lilongwe. I know it will be a big ask to leave your family and …..”

I cut him before he could finish. “I would love to do so, sir. My family is in Lilongwe and I have moved back home. I am travelling to the village though for some air.”

“Some are travelling to the beautiful places to relax and your holiday destination is the rural areas where you will wake up at the crack of dawn and come back darker than the colour black.”

I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. That man had a dry sense of humour. I was dark already so what was he implying.

“I am okay sir, I just need to regroup. It is not a holiday. I have one request, though.”

There was a smile in her voice. “I am listening and please do not ask for a promotion because I already have a trustworthy manager on this site.”

I laughed again as his tone had mockery glanced at it. “I will never ask for a promotion. I was asking if I can stop working from home and do the normal hours like any other person around.”

“Music to my ears, young lady.” That ‘young lady’ with an ‘r’ sound made me laugh.

“Thank you, sir I was not sure if you will agree.”

“So you were testing the waters. Well, I am glad to have you full-time at the office. Maybe you will show these youngsters at the office how it is done.”

I laughed and hung up after we completed my date for coming back to work. I was smiling from ear to ear as my journey was starting on the right foot. My brother took me to the station. I hated that part of each area in the country. Those places show how unfair our world is.

I always left a bitter taste in my mouth. What could I have done only to accept and move on? The five-hour bus trip was not as tiring but from the road to Kambaju village was tiring as I had to wait for a car.

The air and atmosphere were inviting, and I was happy to be home for the first time without my family.