As the hours passed, I didn't realize that it was time to get ready until I heard a knock at the door. I see Mrs. Davis as she walks in. Alright dear, it's time to start getting ready for the ball. I have selected some dresses for you to choose from.
As I look through the dresses, they are beautiful. I have never seen clothing that was so pretty. I try to picture my body in those dresses without showing the scars from my past. The punishments that my grandparents pursued on me have left scars that I've hidden from everyone. My body is full of imperfections and I don't want the world to see it.
“Mrs. Davis, do you have anything that covers more? I would like to show as little as possible.”
Mrs. Davis glances at me oddly. “Why Stella? You have a beautiful body, you have nothing to be ashamed of.”
I become nervous, I have never undressed in front of someone. I have always hidden all that has been done to me. As Mrs. Davis comes over with a dress, she glances at me, “come Stella, take off your pajamas, so you can try this dress on.”
I slowly start to remove my pj's. I watch as Mrs. Davis's smiling face fades as she turns around and sees my body. My grandparents really enjoyed hurting me over the years. So, I have many scars. They made sure when they would punish me it would leave a scar, so I would have a reminder why I must obey them.
As she handed me the first dress, I go to put it on, but I can tell that it's not going to hide all my scars. It is spaghetti strapped, and it reveals the scar on my shoulder. I didn't iron my grandfather's shirt good enough, so he made sure I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. I was only 8 at that time.
As she zips the purple dress, I look at myself and I hate it. I was never one to dress up. Mrs. Davis then sees how revealing the mark on my shoulder is. She smiles and says," there is another dress that could be a possibility.”
I watch as she walks out the door. I wait for her to come back. When she walks back into the bedroom, she then hands me the red dress. I see it has long sleeves. I step into the dress and pull it up over my body and put the arms through the sleeves. As I look into the mirror, I actually like this dress, maybe because it covers everything. All my scars are covered. I don't have to worry or explain anything to anybody.
“Mrs. Davis, I think this is the dress I would like to wear. It's not as revealing as the other dresses. It's more elegant.”
She looks at me and smiles. “Well, since that is all finished, I will go get the makeup artist, so she will be able to do your makeup and your hair. Hopefully she will be able to fix your neck and your cheek as well.”
I'm so stupid. I was so busy looking at the dress that I didn't even look at my face. As I look at my cheek, it is black and blue and swollen, my lip has a trace of blood and puffy. I hate how I still see his hand prints around my throat. Not understanding why I need to go to this ball when everything is already decided for me.
I watch as the hairdresser comes in. She's so beautiful. She looks as if she would have a wonderful life. She is so perky. She hasn't stopped talking since she entered my room. I don't talk back to her. What is the point, she will not be my friend. Everyone that I have ever met has always looked down on me. I'm just a half-breed.
As she turns my chair around she says, "All right I'm all done now. What do you think, do you like it.”
“Yes, thank you, it's beautiful.”
It's so much easier to just tell people what they want to hear, than the actual truth. Sometimes the truth can make them angry and do things to you that will hurt. Compared to just agreeing with them even if you don't. I wish I were stronger, I wish that I would be able to make my own choices. What it would feel like to stand up for something I actually believe in.
Mrs Davis walks over to me and says, “The car will be here at 7 to pick you up. You should probably go downstairs and wait. Since it is already 650, you want to avoid making them wait. They will get angry and make you pay.”
I slip on the heels that they provided me, not even really sure how I'm supposed to walk in them without falling. But I will have to try to manage not like falling would hurt me anyhow. As I make it to the door, I open it. I go outside and sit on the step. I look up at the sky and there are so many stars. I wish that I could feel as peaceful as I do right now, loving just being alone.
As I see headlights coming down the driveway, I'm nervous and unsure of what it's about to happen. I go to Stand and walk down the steps to wait. As the car pulls up, I go to open the door and the driver gets out. “Here, ma'am, let me get that door for you. A pretty girl like you shouldn't have to open the door herself.”
Thank you very much, I smile.
I get into the car and sit down. I try to become comfortable, but it's hard, especially being in a dress. I have never actually dressed up for anything. I could never go to parties or to any of those types of events that required.
To dress up. Not like I would even go if I was invited.
As I look out the window, I really can't see anything, it's so dark out. I never really got along with anybody. They all hated me, and they didn't even know me. I guess I should say that they will all get what they deserve tonight, but I don't believe that any of us deserve this.
I'm not sure why I even have to go. Unless it has to be publicly known that I was selected among the few. Being selected is like a death sentence. I hear that most that are chosen are either for a servant or someone to breed children or a toy.
The car suddenly comes to a stop. I hear the driver get out of the car as he goes to open my door . I becam nervous. I take a deep breath and I tell myself I can do this. As he reaches for my hand, I take his and get out of the car. I then walk the steps to the big Red Door. Scared of what is behind it.
As the door opens, I see a young woman in uniform. It looks to be a maid. She is definitely human. She must have been chosen years before. She smiles at me, “right this way dear, I'll take you to all the other girls to enjoy the party.”
I stand quietly, knowing it's probably better off I don't want to upset anyone right off the bat. I find a corner to stand in alone as I watch everyone else. I really have no idea who is a wolf and who is not. The only thing I can tell is those that are of age to be given to the werewolves as they are shaking.
I guess if I were them, I would be scared too, just that they never had to really endure pain. They probably don't even know what it is. Lucky for them, at least they have had love in their lifetime, even if they are chosen. Compared to someone like me that has never had anyone that actually cared.
I then hear someone speaking through a microphone. I look around to see where they are, but I can't tell. They say, “all right ladies, it is time to get this show on the road. All of those that are of age, please come and stand in front of the stage, so we can observe you.
I begin to walk through the crowd, struggling to find the stage. I am not very tall, probably only 5"1. I am shorter than most of the girls in my class. As I squeeze my way through the crowd, relieved, I make it to where I need to be. I stand there with my head held high, trying not to embarrass myself. I put my arms down to my side and bring my hands together in front of myself.
The lady holding the microphone then says, “alright boys, come and have your pick while the Pickens are good.”
It's like a herd of cattle coming running towards all of us. If they choose one, they don't get to choose another. So, there are more wolves than ladies. I watch as the ladies begin to cry. One by one taken away. As I see Zeeland approach, I become scared, not wanting him to touch me, he puts his hand out for me to grab, but I don't move. He then grips on my hand and yanks forward.I fall forward into him as my hands touch his chest. He then pushes my hands off me. “Don't you ever fucking touch me.”“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.”He then slaps me, “Don't you speak unless I tell you too fucken speak, you half-breed.”I just stay quiet as he pulls me along behind him. I'm trying so hard not to fall, these heels are so uncomfortable. I wish I could take them off. When we reach a room, I am thinking it is his room. He slams the door. He then lets go of my hand and begins to walk closer to me. I want to step away from him, but I am afraid of what he may do to me if I don't listen.My body
As I lay on the floor, I feel so overheated, like I am on fire, sweat just pours off my body. I am not scared of what is happening. I just want to get it over with. My father said that most wolves train for this day, so they are prepared for what is about to come.As my body's bones begin to break I get on all fours. I scream out in agony as I watch my claws coming from my fingertips. I arch my back in the air. It helps to ease some of the pain. Not for long, as I then feel like there are thousands of blades going into my back as it's getting harder and harder to tolerate. I'm no stranger to pain, but I feel like I'm going to faint. I then fall to my knees and collapse on the floor. I just lie motionless on the floor of the basement. I close my eyes as I feel like it's time for me to go to sleep. I pray that maybe, just maybe, I will never wake back up. It would make everyone else's life better if I just disappeared. As I lay with my eyes closed, ready to give up. I then smell him, m
I then start to feel the warmth of the sun on my cheeks. As I open my eyes from my sleep, I look around. I'm in my room. At some point in the night they must have come and got me and brought me to my bed. I am not sure how I did not wake up. I'm not that much of a heavy sleeper. I'm not used to people doing things for me. I find it odd that they even care.I then hear a knock at the door, and it opens. They don't wait for me to say come in, they just do as they please. It just shows how much control I truly don't have. I don't want to move, I just want to lay here and walla. But to be honest, I know it's not going to do anything. So, what is the point of lying in despair? I listen as my stomach growls from the smell of the delicious food on the cart that is being wheeled into my room. Would it really hurt anything if I ate it?I hurry to sit in my bed as I'm watching Ms. Davis brings my breakfast, but when I see her facial expression, I see looks of petty. I go to say something, but t
Not even sure how to act, I have never done this before. As he's getting closer to me, I don't mean to, but it comes out. “What do you want me to do?”He forcefully grabs a hold of my throat and puts me up against the wall. I don't struggle, I just let the pain take over, hoping maybe I will just pass out before anything takes place. But I'm not so lucky. As he pulls my head close to him, he then whispers in my ear, “Take off your clothes and lay on the bed on your stomach, so your face doesn't make me sick.”I go to turn around so my back is facing him and I don't feel fully exposed. “Turn around now. Put on a show.”I turned around, not understanding what he means about putting on a show. I start to unbutton my pants. When I look up at him, I can see his eye become black. He gets up from the chair. I'm not sure how to react, he doesn't give me anytime to react to what is about to take place.He then throws me on to the bed and rips my jeans completely off, exposing me. I stay silent
It's been a month since my world has been shattered. I never thought that I would have ever felt so empty. It's like the days are blurry; there's no reason to be alive. I do what I'm told To get through the day. Ms. Davis has been trying to bring me back, But I'm just trying to get through today.I see that the sun is rising as daylight is coming in through my windows. Sadness overcomes me that I have made it through another night. My body still hurts from the trauma. They tell me to accept my wolf that she will help me heal, but I refuse to become one of them.My back is healing on its own, even though it was agony for weeks, but it's finally starting to ease. The only thing I have left is the determination of not becoming what they are, a wolf. They said I will shift regardless on a full moon. That the pain will get worse each time. But it's worth not becoming what I hate the most.My father hasn't looked at me since that night. I gave myself to a monster thin
I have never felt more relaxed than right now. As I can hear the scissors cut inches off my hair. All I can do is smile. It's almost like I'm cutting my past away from me and getting prepared for my future. Hoping that just maybe for once in my life that I will feel beautiful.As I look into the mirror I watch as she is applying the color to my hair, the shortness is remarkable. I feel confident I feel beautiful, My hair is probably a little above my shoulders with layers. I decided to go with a Violet color for my hair. I know it's dark, but it's sometimes its how I feel, I couldn't help but to go with something dark and beautiful.I feel that there is darkness in me and I know it's my wolf. I try not to think about what I am. I don't want to be a werewolf. I know that I am, unfortunately, but I won't accept it. I just want to be me, nothing else. I know that I'm promised a life of horror, but when it comes down to it, the only thing that is important is what I
As we are pulling up to the house I see a car, I become nervous hoping that isn't who I think it is. Once we come to a stop, I get out of the car, Ms Davis slides across the seat and follows me out of the car we continue to walk up the steps, but then I hear the car door. Opening we stop and turn around.I watch as the person is getting out of the car, praying it's not him. But my prayers aren't answered as I see him my mate. I go to turn back around and run, but I then hear his stern voice, “Stella, stop.”I don't want to stop, but I know if I don't the Consequences will be so much worse, so I just stop, but Before I can open my mouth Ms Davis steps in front of me. And says, "We had a girl's day.”“I didn't address you, so why are you speaking?”“She needed to get out of the house, there was no harm done.”I watch as he is approaching us and his hand raises I close my eyes waiting for him to hurt me but wh
It's so dark that I don't know the difference between day and night. I wait and wait for someone to come to get out of the darkness, even if it's only for a second. I thought my life was bad before, it was heaven compared to this life. I feel so dirty from having him all over me. I just want to wash him off of me.The worst part is I'm so cold I want to fight, but I'm not sure how. My hope is fading away. I'm not sure how to even be hopeful nothing positive has happened to me, only negative things. All I have ever wanted was for one person to care about me, just one is that really too much to ask for.I go to move, but it's hard, my body is in so much pain it is overwhelming. It's so hard for me to move. My body is broken, I'm covered in bruises and cuts that he inflicted onto me. He left my legs untied, which is nice, I guess. But not for my benefit the only reason he left them untied is, so he could fuck me whenever he wants to and any which way he desires. I hate when he touches me