He was right, once he started touching me, my body didn't resist. Now knowing that there's no denying him, I feel more trapped, more humiliated and used than I ever have.
Slowly I cover myself in the thin fabric, after spending all night nude outside on the grass, clothes feel great even with so little coverage.
It wasn't long before Hardin woke too, silence surrounding us as he dresses himself. The fact that I'm keeping my back to him clearly speaks louder than words,I don't wish to converse with him, I'm glad he doesn't attempt to do SO.
"Come, lets get you cleaned up." He says after minutes, expecting no response.
I could feel his warmth behind me, his hand that he outstretches for me to take. Did he hit his head? I side glance his hand with bitterness, a glare he didn't see.
Without a word, I turn on my heel and walk straight past him, blanking his very existence. I wanted to storm off, but given that every step only adds to the uncomfortable feeling between my thighs, I don't risk it.
The pack mansion isn't too far, a few miles. Hardin takes the hint and doesn't push my silence, but I know his patience won't last. Alphas don't like attitude, this one is lucky my silence is all he's getting.
"Alpha Hardin ... Luna, would you like anything?" One of the friendly maids ask us the second she hears us coming inside.
Plastering on a smile, I slow my steps as I approach her. Being around another wolf whilst I'm in this state isn't exactly concealing my dignity, but I couldn't ignore her. If I want to survive her, I have to be the perfect Luna.
"A glass of water please." I say in a gentle voice, accepting her offer.
"Of course, would you like breakfast?" The lady leads me into one of the many kitchens.
It feels strange to have someone pour me a glass of water, it's a small thing but I'm used to doing everything myself. I quickly realise that I don't like it, having another run at my beck and call.
"Thank you." I say, taking the glass from the lady's hands.
"Alpha, can I get you anything?" She turns to my 'husband' who I'd forgotten is right on my heel. I could feel his eyes on me, my ignorance annoying him.
"No, ensure my mate has everything she needs today." Hardin tells the maid, his tone rather abrupt.
"Yes Sir." Is all she manages to get out before he's gone, most likely to shower and get back to his pack.
I didn't know whether to be offended that he's so chill about last night, or glad he's out of my sight. The instant relief that I feel is surely not normal, mates are supposed to be bound to one another once they've mated. The love is practically instant, and yet I feel only anger towards him.
"So, Breakfast?" She smiles expectedly.
"No thank you, is it ok if I just go to my room?" My voice small, my fingers picking at the tiny pieces of cloth covering my boobs and lower end.
"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so inconsiderate." The lady rushes to my side, her tone apologetic like she's done something wrong.
"I'll run you a nice warm bubble bath, and perhaps a change of clothes?" The lady offers before I can respond from her previous comment.
Cringing away from the she-wolf's hands, I shake my head a little, gulping as I step away from her.
"It's ok, I can do it." I softly say, already heading for the doorway.
"Oh, well, if you need anything I'm happy to help." The lady says.
"Thank you." I smile, quickly getting my escape before she asks me how I feel, or what I think of Alpha Hardin. It happens, the pack will be curious, and I don't want to lie to them.
The second I shut my bedroom door behind me, I feel the tears begin to falls. The self pity and anger that boils within me turns into uncontrollable sadness. Sorrow weighs heavily on my chest, almost suffocating me as I sob into my grass stained arms. I cry for myself, for my freedom, for my dignity and now my purity.
Why would my parents condemn me to this life? Do they loathe me so much? Would it not have satisfied them more to kill me, than to know I'm alive and now technically above them in power?
When the tears finally stop, my head throbs and my eyes sting. Dragging myself from the floor, I head to the bathroom and strip naked, avoiding the monstrous sight in the mirror as I pass. Even the shower didn't wash away how dirty I feel, no amount of scrubbing makes me feel clean.
Perhaps this is just how it will be from now on? If so, I'd rather take a good old beating, than mate with him again.
Hardin didn't force himself on me, he didn't have to and that's the worst part. He teased my mark, gently caressed my sensitive skin that seemed to come alive under his touch. After so long my mind was not my own, and he didn't slow enough for me to come around and beg him to stop. ***
I stare at the blinking phone screen, watching as it rings and rings, until finally he ends the call. I wanted to speak to him, so much that it hurts to ignore his call. But I couldn't, I wasn't in the right state of mind to pretend like everything is ok, I couldn't do that with him.
Switching my phone to silent, I ignore my damp eyes and turn my back to the phone. Laying on my side, I cradle the pillow to my stomach, my thick baggy clothes providing little comfort.
This is only the third night, although my nightmare didn't begin until last night. Perhaps the days will get easier? Convincing myself of false truths, I manage to drift off into a restless sleep, dreams filled with my parents' faces.
"It's been almost a week since anyone saw you, Luna." Lacys concerned voice isn't surprising.Staring blankly at the closed curtains, I give no sign of response. I'd stopped responding a few days back, after giving the same answer time and time again, I didn't see the point in talking.Three weeks.Three weeks since I arrived here, and it feels like a lifetime ago. At first I carried on smiling, I talked with the pack and held up the act of the gentle Luna that I know they all believe. I tried so hard to keep them happy, I tried to pretend like I wasn't stuck here, I tried so hard to just be happy. But I couldn't do it, every minute it got harder, every day my smile began to fade and after a week ... I considered ending it all.The pack expected perfection through the day, and by night Hardin comes in and does as he pleases with me. The past two nights he hasn't been back, I tried to deny him, which resulted in me slapping him. I assume he's still enraged, and I'm still frightened of
"Luna-" Lacys familiar voice fills the empty room. "Oh my god!" She gasps. I stare at the mirror in utter disgust, anger brewing inside of me as I poke at my flesh. The bruises are long gone, but the weight I'd lost in the past week has taken a huge toll on my body. My skin is paler than usual, far more bones poking through than ever before. Dark circles rim my eyes, thoroughly making me a monstrous sight. Fact is, I wanted to blame Hardin. He's the reason I'm here, he's the reason I don't sleep, the reason I can't eat. At the same time I didn't have the energy, blaming him is tiring, and it's not like I'm not to blame too. I refused the food, I stayed awake at night, I didn't converse with the pack or even leave the room. I've been clinging onto my old life, the person I was only last month due to a promise I made to my brother. In the end, that promise is going to kill me, holding on is hurting me more. I want to keep my promise, I want to be the person my brother expects me to
Before my mind registers what I'm doing, my hand wraps around his wrist, shoving him away with all my strength. Hardin squeezes my throat, just enough to make me gasp a little, his face nearing mine as his eyes grow darker.I know what he wants, and if I don't act then he'll take it, again. No amount of refusal with words has worked so far, he acts like he hasn't even heard me. But pushing him away, that gets to him."I strongly suggest you don't repeat that." Hardin growls sinisterly, eyes ablaze, bright red.Every nerve in my body screams at me to submit, but at the same time I feel powerful being able to deny him. Even for a short moment, being able to finally tell him no, and mean it, gives me huge satisfaction."Then I suggest you don't touch what isn't yours." I say, my voice ringing with clarity.Damn Kali, when'd you get so brave?My entire body freezes over the second I see Hardin's face contort with anger, the utter fury that burns within his blood red eyes. Until now I'd no
"Harder!"My growl resonates over the sound of his voice, frustration burning through me. No matter how much I push, Hardin doesn't move a millimetre."I'm not strong enough." I snap, exhaling heavily as I step away from his huge form.My arms ache from trying to move him, I'd used all the strength I could muster and it didn't faze him. I'm supposed to be stronger than this, I'm supposed to be powerful, and I doubt I could take the average wolf."You're trying too hard." Hardin states."Clearly not hard enough." I respond with sarcasm dripping from my tone.How can I be trying too hard, when I haven't even been able to move him? Trying less would get me know where. Hardin has been training his entire life like every other Alpha in the world, all except me. Perhaps my parents were right, a female shouldn't be first born."You're trying to control your strength, to focus it, and it doesn't work that way." Hardin snaps at me, annoyed that I'm blanking him.My wrist is suddenly grabbed, a
A entire week of hell, and the day hasfinally arrived. After seven days of maxing my limits and exhausting myself with what felt like pointless torment, it's finally time to face the music.Even though Hardin gave me a brief rundown of how the ceremony will go, I'm still nervous. For three days I'll be put to the rest with a series of different challenges and tasks, more so because I'm now Hardins mate."Take it off, wolves don't need to cover up." Beck mutters to me as we exit the car.Brushing his hand away, I bury my hands into my pockets. Hardin and his beta join us, leading me into the large stone mansion. I didn't pay much attention to the building, or the decor, only the amount of wolves that whisper and stare as I pass them.They smell my Alpha blood, they're naturally threatened by it. I assume that's why Hardin stays close to me, placing me between himself, Zed flanking my left and Beck just behind us. I have to admit, I don't feel so on edge with all three close by.The wol
"Are you ready to meet your maker?" Zed whispers to me.Inhaling a long shaky breath, I roll out my shoulders in attempt to shake off the tension. I barely slept last night, Hardin has spent hours debating with the Elders to switch my opponent. Judging by Zeds words, I know Hardin failed to convince them."As ready as I'll ever be." I say softly."He's going to taunt you, as long as you stay in control, you win." Zed assures me.Nodding, I take a deep breath. Control, the one thing I do have over myself. Knowing that comforts me, even if I know the beating that he's going to give me may just put me out for the count."Where's Hardin?" I ask, my nerves haywire.I needed him with me, I needed his comfort, I needed to know that he's still going to stand at my side no matter what happens. But most importantly, I needed my mate for emotional support, just having him close does wonders."He'll be here." Zed promises, squeezing my shoulder as if to calm down my fear.Nodding, I inhale slowl
The command has my mother cringing away, incapable of withstanding the sheer force of my words. I couldn't help but smile, my teeth covered in blood."Y-yes." She gasps for breath, clawing at my hands. I saw my own reflection in her terrified eyes, the usual arrogance long gone as I choke her, my fingers ease their grip a little."Yes what?" I whisper, my voice like ice as I stare my mother right in her eyes, no longer frightened by her glare.Eyes tearful and cheeks scarlet, from strangulation and fright, my mother gasps her words."... Yes A-Alpha."I almost felt guilty, for humiliating her in such a public place. I shouldn't, she's never shown me any love or kindness, she's just a woman that should have protected me, and instead chose to be my greatest fear. A small part of me still refuses to harm her, she did raise me even if I'll never forgive her for the way she did it.Releasing my mother, I watch as she scrambles away to my father. I could smell her fear, and it didn't please
"Ow!" I yelp out, trying not to flinch as the woman peels the wax from my tender flesh.Never in my life have I felt this kind of pain, having hair literally ripped from your body in chunks. Truth be told I've never much bothered with shaving or waxing, I didn't have time, and I didn't have a mate so I suppose it didn't matter.The woman is here on Beck's doing, he saw my legs a few weeks back and made a comment to shave them. I ignored him, although I now wish I'd listened because he's ordered this poor woman to blitz my entire body.And I mean, everywhere. Places that I wasn't even aware people waxed.It feels like hours passed of endless pain, before the lady finally declares me finished. I immediately exhale in pure relief, more glad that I have a few hours to heal before the ball starts."Thank you." I say to be polite, when in reality I'm not thankful, I want to punch her for causing me such horrific pain.The woman leaves my room, and I slump back into the comfortable chair, th