It's late afternoon when we get back to the mansion. The sun is hot and there isn't a cloud in the sky. It's smoggy in the city, but clear by the estate. I step out of the limo and into the driveway. It feels different to be here now. This is where I've loved Jonathan all my life. To be here now feels like I've betrayed that memory somehow. “Oh no.” Guilt pulls on me with invisible strings, making me heavy. “What?” Christopher asks. He slides his phone back into his pocket, but I can already hear it vibrating with some sort of urgent message. All Christopher's messages are urgent. “I promised Jonathan I would call him,” I reply. I wince, feeling shame and guilt roll through me. “I totally forgot.” I forgot to call him because I was too busy doing his brother. “I wouldn't worry,” Christopher advises me. “I'm pretty sure he was busy keeping my mother from freaking out. You were the least of his concerns.” For some reason, the comment stings a little more than I expect. “I should
“I have a favor to ask of you,” Christopher says. I squint up at him, the morning sunlight bright behind his head. I have a book in my hands as I sit on the bottom step to my dad's apartment, but I'm not really reading. My brain is more focused on Christopher and Jonathan than on the words on the page. I spent a restless night thinking about the two of them, and the book isn't helping me get my mind off of either of them. I have years of wanting Jonathan on one side, and a night of passion on the other. How am I supposed to choose between them? “What kind of favor?” I ask warily. I have a feeling that there is more to this request than just driving him to the airport or loaning him a cup of sugar. “It's kind of a last-minute thing,” he tells me. He sounds casual and unconcerned, but he's playing with his cuff links. It's another one of his tells. Cuticles and cuff links mean he's nervous. Christopher is wearing his traditional suit. It's dark gray today with a pale blue tie. His
The dress is magnificent. Hunter green satin with a matching lace overlay falls from a boat neck cut that accentuates my collar bones. The bodice is tight without being restrictive and the skirt is long and tight, but with a slit up to my thigh. It's classy and sexy, and of course, it fits perfectly. I wonder what Christopher told his secretary to get the measurements so correct. “You look lovely,” Dad says, walking into the living room. It's almost five and I'm trying to wait patiently by the door without actually looking like I'm waiting. Despite wearing an evening gown, I've tidied up the living room and unloaded the dishwasher. If I wasn't afraid of splashing water on my dress, I'd do the dishes in the sink and scrub it too. “Thank you,” I tell my dad, smiling at the compliment. “Here, let me fix your hair.” Dad comes over and carefully smooths a strand of hair away from my face. He smiles as he steps back and looks me over. “You've grown so much. Your mother would be so prou
“Whoa, there,” Christopher says, catching my arm and keeping me upright. “You haven't even had anything to drink yet.” My hand goes to my chest, my palm shaking against my skin. The sudden rush of adrenaline has me trembling, and it's combining with the adrenaline of walking a red carpet. I take a shaky breath. “You okay?” Christopher asks. He still has his hand on me, keeping me from tipping over. I'm glad, because I feel like I might fall without him there. “Just embarrassed,” I tell him. I give him a unsteady smile. “What a way to make an entrance, right?” “Don't worry. No one saw a thing,” he assures me. He moves my hand to his elbow. I remember practicing walking with him like this when we were younger. Learning how to properly escort a lady into a dance was part of his dance lessons. The hotel is grand. The party is lavish, and the guests are all rich. There are senators and movie stars mingling with drinks in their hands. I swallow hard. I've seen this world from the outsi
“Here we are. It's not much, but it's home,” Christopher says, holding open the door to his penthouse suite. It's a stunning penthouse suite with iconic views of New York that is anything but “not much.” The furniture is white and modern and there's art on the wall that I'm sure are original pieces and each one worth more than I paid for my college education. There's also a grand piano. “Christopher, this is a museum-worthy piece of art that happens to be on top of a building,” I tell him, standing in awe in front of the giant window that looks out over the twinkling city lights. From up here, it looks almost calm and peaceful. “That's just because you haven't seen other people's,” he tells me, going to the kitchen and opening the fridge. He pulls out a bottle of champagne and pops the cork. I look around. I can't imagine how something could be more opulent than this. I suppose it could be bigger. More rooms or maybe painted with gold. The view alone has to be worth millions. It's
The curtains are open on the windows. The filmy, translucent ones are pulled off to the side and the heavy-duty light blocking ones are tucked neatly at the ceiling. That means that the whole of New York City is spread out before us in a twinkling display as we lay in bed. Combined with Christopher's naked body, it's the best post-sex view I've ever had. I'm sweaty and satisfied. Parts of me ache from pleasure so great I didn't even know it was possible to feel that good. I thought the sex in the Caribbean was good, but this blows it out of the water. I'm almost afraid to imagine how good the next session will be. Each time we have sex, it just gets better and better. Christopher's phone rings in the other room. I realize it's still in his suit jacket that I threw on the floor. I'm fairly sure it's near the piano, but it could be on the couch. I wasn't paying much attention to the jacket once it was off him. Christopher doesn't move. “You going to get that?” I ask after the thir
I pull away. I don't know why I do it. I should want to kiss Jonathan. I've always wanted to kiss him. I've dreamed of kissing Jonathan. Yet, I fumble back, pulling my hand out of his reach and rising to my feet. I don't kiss Jonathan Lewis despite my years of longing. Teenage me would be furious with current me. I cross the room and stand by the bookcase, my heart pounding in my chest. I feel like I might be sick. What am I doing? Dad walks in with a sandwich and I'm even more glad I didn't kiss him. The last thing I need is for my dad to see me kissing Jonathan while Christopher isn't wearing the tux he left in. My hair is a mess and I'm sure I don't look like I came from a ball. I look like I came from bed. Jonathan smiles at my dad as he hands him the sandwich. “You always make the best sandwiches,” Jonathan tells him. “Thank you, sir,” Dad replies with a small smile. I see his shoulders straighten just a little bit with the compliment, though. The effect is spoiled by the
“What's going on in here?” Christopher asks, his eyes going back and forth between Jonathan and me. “Just looking for a missing chess piece,” Jonathan tells him with a smug smile. “That's not what it sounded like,” Christopher tells him, his voice low and dangerous. I see the piece near the back of the couch, grab it, and hold it up triumphantly. “Found it.” “What are you two doing?” Christopher asks. His hand is still over the mouthpiece of his phone and his eyes are flashing. “Playing strip chess, obviously,” Jonathan replies. I could smack him. Christopher's eyes go wide and he looks over at me. “Wait. Just regular chess,” Jonathan amends. “She still has her dress on despite the fact that I'm winning.” I really could smack him this time, but instead I just roll my eyes. “I'm seriously doubting the doctor's concerns about a concussion,” I tell him. “You're doing just fine.” I roll up onto my toes and then up to standing. I walk deliberately back to the opposite side of the