Chapter Two

“Hey, I'm on my way,” I told my sister over the phone as I started the car engine. My ancient little Pontiac purred to life and I thanked my lucky stars. Some days she decided to drive like a dream, and on other days she was hell on wheels. Today would have been a terrible day for her not to start. There was no way I was walking back into that restaurant to get a jump start.

“How was the date?” Rosie asked.

“Awful,” I said, pulling out onto the main road. “It'll be great for readers. I really think they're going to eat this one up.”

I could hear her moving around on her end of the phone. “You're the only person I know who gets more excited about bad dates than good ones,” she replied.

“Are you moving stuff around again?” I asked, ignoring her statement.

“No,” she answered defensively before sighing. “Yes. Fine. I'm moving the crib to the other side of the room. I think the draft from the window will make him cold.”

I couldn't help but smile. She was so excited for her first-born child that she had moved that darn crib at least six times in the last week. “You better figure out where to put it soon,” I told her. “You've only got another month to figure it out.”

“Oof-” She was obviously pushing the crib into place. “I know. I can't wait until I don't waddle anymore. I feel like a penguin.”

“A cute penguin,” I said, taking the next turn.

Rosie laughed. “That's what Thomas says, too.” She panted slightly. I was going to have to tell her husband not to let her push that heavy stuff. Not that she'd listen to either of us, but it had to at least be said.

“Okay, well, I'll be there in about five minutes,” I said, pulling off the highway and heading to her place. It was tradition to go see her after a failed date. Rosie had the best perspective and came up with the most epic tag lines for the blog entries.

“Oh good, you'll be here before Mom leaves,” Rosie replied.

“Mom's there?” I asked. I nearly hit the brakes. It wasn't that I didn't like my mother. I loved her a lot. She just hated my blog, my love prospects, and what I was doing with my life. I could already feel the lecture.

“Is that you, Harper?” My mother's voice took over the phone. “I was just getting ready to go, but I'll wait until you get here. I brought the most adorable thing for the baby. You'll love it.”

“Great, Mom.” I wondered if banging my head against the steering wheel would make the airbag deploy. Then I could at least claim I got in an accident and I wouldn't have to explain to my mother, yet again, what I was doing with my life.

I pulled up to the house, making sure not to block my mother's exit in any way shape or form. I actually even parked on the opposite side of the street, just so that she could get out easier. Anything to help her leave as quickly as possible.

I didn't bother knocking. Thomas turned and waved from the living room as I walked in. He was a nerdy-looking guy, all elbows and knees, but he had a great smile. He wasn't my type, but he made my sister happy, so I loved him.

“Hey, Harper,” he said. “How'd the date go? Awful, I hope?”

“Yup. It was perfectly terrible.” I laughed, pausing by the couch to talk to him. “How's doctoring going? Not awful, I hope?”

He smiled. “I'm here and not at the hospital working, so things are good.”

“Are you on call today?” I was stalling. I knew my mother and sister were in the baby's room, but I wasn't ready to face my mother just yet. Maybe I could just talk to Thomas until she had to leave...

“You can't avoid her forever.” Thomas gave me a meaningful, I know what you're doing and it's not going to work, look. “And yes, I'm on call tonight. So don't swallow pennies or any other weird stuff tonight, okay? I want to stay home.”

I chuckled. Thomas was a gastroenterologist at the local hospital. That was how he and Rosie met. Rosie was a radiology technician and the two had fallen in love over a barium x-ray. That was three years ago, and now they were expecting their first child in just a little over a month.

“You sure? Would swallowing pennies get me out of my mother asking me for the upteenth time why my love life is just a bad dates blog?”

Thomas looked thoughtful. “Nope. She'd probably just gown up and keep talking the whole way through your exam. And then she'd try and set you up with the first male nurse that walked in the door.”

I shook my head and chuckled. That would be exactly what my mother would do.

“Harper?” My mother had heard us.

“On my way.” I looked at Thomas. “If you hear screaming, don't come in. Just be prepared to help bury a body.”

“Yours or hers?” Thomas asked.

“I'm not sure. It depends on who grabs the lamp first.”

“Okay,” Thomas agreed. “Just don't use the cute baby elephant lamp. I like that one.”

“No baby elephant lamp, got it.”

I started walking to the baby's room, feeling my shoulders tense up. I told myself to stop it. Maybe this time Mom wouldn't comment. Maybe this time she'd just show me whatever cute baby thing she'd found. Maybe she wouldn't bring up the fact that my younger sister had a real job, a husband, and a baby, while I was writing fluff pieces and wasting my life.

Maybe.

“There you are, Harper,” my mom said as I walked into the baby's room. “I was beginning to think you forgot where the baby's room was.”

“Nope, just talking to the baby daddy,” I replied, going to give my sister and mother each a hug. “So, what did you bring?”

“Isn't it adorable?” My mother held up a little onesie with suspenders and a bow tie printed on it. To be fair, it was absolutely adorable. “I got one with a little tie, too.”

I took the small outfit into my hands and studied it. It was so tiny. And cute. My nephew was going to be freaking adorable and the best dressed baby this side of the Atlantic.

“It's perfect,” I replied, handing it off to Rosie. Rosie beamed. She looked amazing, even eight months pregnant. Her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she was only wearing light makeup to accent her brown eyes, but she glowed. People always said we looked alike, and I hoped I looked half as beautiful as she did right now.

“So, when am I going to be able to purchase one of these for you?” Mom's question made my heart sink. We'd made it all of three minutes.

“Mom!” Rosie scolded. “Not cool.”

“I'm just concerned about you, Harper.” Mom pulled out the second onesie and put it on the changing table. “You just don't seem to be going anywhere.”

“I'm going plenty of places, Mom,” I told her through gritted teeth.

She put her hands on her hips and looked at me. It was easy to see where Rosie and I got our features. We all shared the same dark hair and eyes, a fairly average build, and noses that were probably just a little too big for our faces.

“You keep going on these terrible dates and not caring that you're not finding anyone. I know you just got back from another terrible one that you're super excited to share with the world. How are you going to find love like this?” Mom's features looked concerned, but I knew exactly the words that were coming next. “It's like you're not even trying, Harper.”

Every time. Those words killed me every time. Because I was trying. The whole reason the Never After Dates even existed was because I was trying and not getting anywhere. It was making lemonade out of the lemon dates that life kept handing me.

The fact that I now hoped for bad dates had nothing to do with it. Now, it was part of how I paid my rent. I had found that lemonade could be profitable.

“I do write other things than this one dating blog,” I reminded my mother. “Just last month, I won the General Excellence award for my travel piece in Now Magazine.”

“Yeah, but, honey, that isn't going to get you someone to love.” My mother frowned. “I'm just worried about you and your future. I want you to be happy.”

“I was happy until about three minutes ago,” I said quietly. My mother glared at me. I did my best not to roll my eyes. “I have plans. I have aspirations and I'm not hopeless, okay? I'll find someone when I'm ready.”

There was a moment of silence. You’d think a woman who spent so many years unhappily married would at least be willing to support a child who wasn’t even bothering with the notion of marriage at the moment, rather than push for intense focus on finding the right one.

“You're not getting any younger, Harper,” Mom scolded. “I don't want you to end up wasting your life going on these terrible dates and ignoring the possibility of finding actual happiness someday. You're just sabotaging yourself.”

“Right, Mom. I do this all so I can be miserable and alone. I want to end up as a crazy cat lady.” I stalked over to the baby elephant lamp. It was a good thing Thomas made me promise not to use it, because it was incredibly tempting to throw it at my mother's head at the moment.

“Harper, she just wants you to be happy.” Rosie said softly. She was always the peace-maker.

I didn't say anything. The only things I wanted to say, I knew I'd regret because they weren't nice. I really wished I got along as well with Mom as Rosie did, but Rosie was the golden child. She'd always done everything right. I was the screw up.

Rosie cleared her throat. “But, at least you have that really promising date coming up, right?”

“Of course I do,” I replied automatically. Technically, every date was a really promising one. For my blog.

“You do?” My mom looked skeptical. “A good date or a bad date?”

“A good one,” Rosie assured her. “A real, positive, find love kind of date. She's trying out this new dating service by Kindling Dating. They have this brand new application that's basically guaranteed to find your true love. And she has a date through it.”

“I do?” I looked at Rosie and she widened her eyes to tell me to play along. “Oh, right. I do. I totally do.”

“Sure.” Mom crossed her arms. “Who is he?”

“A local business owner,” Rosie answered. “And super cute. He likes football and has a great sense of humor. He's basically perfect for Harper.”

“Is that so?” Mom did not look convinced. She glared at me again. “Why didn't you say anything?”

“Well, I... um...” I had no answer because I didn't know what the hell Rosie was even talking about.

“She didn't want to get your hopes up, Mom,” Rosie interjected. “You get so excited for every single date she goes on, like she's going to get married next week if she finds the right one. That's hard to deal with.”

I wasn't sure whether to strangle or hug my sister. On the one hand, a good date would get my mother off my back, but on the other, I had no clue what Rosie had planned. If there was no actual guy, Mom was going to be even more trouble than usual. I'd heard of this Kindling Dating, but as it cost money and actually advertised yielding good dates, I had stayed far, far away from it. My business was bad dates.

What the heck was my sister doing?

“Is this true, Harper?” My mother fixed me with her best mom glare. When I was a kid, I would confess to anything under that look. It was hard not to break down even though I was twenty-six years old and no longer living under her roof.

“Rosie wouldn't lie, Mom,” I answered. It was true enough that I would avoid showing my guilty face.

Mom looked back and forth between the two of us for a moment before smiling broadly at me. “You have a real date?”

“Apparently,” I said while Rosie nodded vigorously.

“I can't tell you how happy that makes me, Harper.” Mom actually looked relieved. “I just want you to find that special someone and settle down like your sister. I need more grandkids and Rosie's baby needs some cousins.”

“That's the plan, Mom. Date this guy, marry him, have lots of babies,” I said, ticking off fingers for each item of my future.

“Don't be sarcastic, Harper,” Mom scolded, but then she wrapped me up in a big hug. “I'm just so proud of you for trying.”

Because I wasn't trying before, I wanted to say, but I kept my mouth shut.

“See, Mom, everything will work out,” Rosie promised.

I looked over at her and she grinned with two thumbs up.

“Okay.” Mom let me go and stood up straight. There were tears of joy in her eyes. If I had known that promising her a good date would make her this happy, I would have done it a long time ago.

“You okay, Mom?” I asked.

“I'm great, honey.” She wiped her eyes and smiled. “I'm just so happy to hear you're actually going to give this one a chance. Please, give him an actual chance? Don't make him hate you like do with all the guys you go out with now.”

I managed not to let my jaw hit the floor. “Yes, Mom.”

“I have to get going,” Mom announced. She hugged Rosie, then dropped to her knees to kiss Rosie's belly. “Be good in there, little one. You keep growing, you little cutie.”

“Drive safe, Mom,” I said.

“I will.” She stood up from the floor and then gave me a big hug. “Thank you for trying this time, Harper. I love you girls so much.”

“We love you too, Mom,” Rosie assured her. I nodded.

“You didn't park me in, did you?” Mom asked, picking up her purse

“Of course not. You're free to go,” I informed her. She smiled and waved and headed out the door. I could hear her saying goodbye to Thomas in the living room as she went and as soon as I heard her car engine start, I let out a huge sigh of relief.

“Well, that was fun,” Rosie commented.

“Yeah.” I turned to face her. “Especially the part where I have a date from Kindling Romance? What the heck was that, Rosie?”

“I should probably explain...” Rosie blushed.

“Yeah, that would be good,” I agreed. “Please tell me how I have a date lined up at a service I never signed up for.”

It was a lucky thing my sister was pregnant. I couldn't kill a pregnant lady.