Thirty minutes into the class…
"I didn't get your name," I said to him, not looking up and still scribbling notes in my notepad at the end of the class.
“Cassiel.” He didn’t break the word into syllables.
I took a long breath. I needed to extend this conversation. From the corner of my eye, I observed him. “Cassiel, what is that you are scribbling? Is it long class notes on Dryden?"
“It’s your name stupid, see.” He quickly took up his notebook and flung it up in the air for me to view. He retrieved it immediately.
“Well, that was fast.” I was speechless.
“It was.” His long hands formed a protective circle on the piece of paper he was hazing from my eye’s glance. I caught a peep but both of his shoulders moved too quickly and shielded again whatever he was working on. I sighed because he was so fucking agile and handsome. The kind of handsome that makes it difficult to breathe around him unless you were making a conscious effort to make your body function, and work properly.
I snatched the piece of paper from his fingers playfully, but then I saw that it really had my name on it. But it was not what you would expect at the very moment. I was surprised like someone had pulled the rug from beneath my feet. Good thing I was already safely seated on a metallic chair.
It said, “An angel from the clashing winds of a sea, with folded wings waiting to fly in those unabated skies.”
“Woah, you write... That’s-that’s beautiful!” I choked on the beauty of this perfect sentence, which sounded a lot like poetry. I haven’t met a guy before who writes poetry or anything creative.
“Yeah, sometimes I write just random things. They actually make no sense whatsoever, lol.” He laughed awkwardly, rubbing the nape of his freckled neck with long fingers.
“By the way, I forgot to ask your name?” He raised his eyebrows, crinkling his long, pointed nose, but there was a playful note in his light voice and everything fell easy, whichever way he was going around me.
“It’s Lee. It’s actually Angelique. But yeah, my parents are weird. They chose to name me as a messenger, aka an angel.”
“Haha, you got me on that one.” He added, “Because you are one. . . nice girl. Angelique. Beautiful name.” He started laughing nervously, rubbing the nape of his neck as Mr. Freyer walked out of the class, trying to attend to a call that had been ringing and interrupting the class a second time.
I nudged him on the shoulder and threw a crooked smile of my own, “No, really, it’s actually similar and simplifies to being some befallen god’s messenger. But who the hell cares, right?"
“Cool. Yeah. No one cares. That's such a pretty name unless you’re screwing with me here.” He smirked at me with his cool confident persona.
“I don’t just screw with guys the first moment I see them.” Sassy. Yes. "Especially after they spill hot coffee on my shoulder and try to give me third-degree burns. I'm not a masochist, ya know?”
“Well, that’s good to know.” His bemused face was on the edge of giving us away as we silently whispered back and forth.
“Why is that?” I bit my lip slowly and evasively.
“Uh, nothing.” He was trying to be aloof like every other guy I’ve ever met.
There was a sudden wall that built itself between us, and it was as if no matter how hard I would budge it, I won’t be able to get through. Better be sassy than sorry.
“Well, if that’s how you get in girls’ pants, then it must be a long journey down there.” Get it girl.
“The journey matters, not the destination.” Wow. I wasn’t expecting this. What do I come back with?
“You’re such a dork.” Lame. I started laughing and he joined me. His blue eyes were crinkling at the edges, and they were clearer than when I saw them an hour ago. I was at a loss of words for the first time in my life.
“I just had to throw it out there. Sorry, I had to.” He was wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes.
“I’m glad. Now I know I’m not the only weird one, and also, I have gotten enough stuff from this conversation that will give me constant nightmares. Especially, about you trying to find the said destination.”
“At least they will be of a good kind, angel?” He curved his right eyebrow, smirking.
My face turned red.
“I guess so.” I tried to bite away the small smile from spilling on my lips like a waterfall.
“I know so.” He smiled and threw a wink casually at me before going back to his notes as if that kind of shit happens every day. The Greek God, smoking hot, just winked at me. Hallelujah!
Mr. Freyer walked back in, tucking his phone in the back pocket of his corduroy pants, and grasping the blue marker, and getting back to scribbling notes and circling Dryden on the whiteboard. We kept mum for the rest of the class because he just took my breath away and he had no idea about it.
After class. .After three long university classes, I finally wanted to get some exercise done and decided to take a walk around my big university campus. I got a coffee on the go and strolled around in the front courtyard of our humongous college, where I saw a couple of guys hovering around their expensive motorbikes parked against the old Victorian pillars and sidewalls.I quickened my pace when they suddenly started laughing and hooting as they started walking past one by one around me. One of them stepped in front of me, looked right in my eyes, and whistled at me as I took long strides away from him. I ignored their behavior. That’s the only thing that seemed right at that moment. Lordy, I didn't have anyone accompanying me to this part of the campus, but heck, I didn’t care and I didn’t need a bodyguard. I could look out for myself. I breathed in and out.I’m a strong woman. I’m not afraid. I won’t regard or warrant their behavior. I can take care of myself.Just like a gust of
PRESENTHe’s walking away. He’s going to walk away, I can feel it. I can feel it with every breath I draw, every time my heart skips a beat.Daniel is the one to walk away when it should have been me. I have no self-control. When did I change into this unbecoming woman that I never wanted to be?Do I even deserve Cass? When I’m doing this. . .Someone knocks on the door and the bell jiggles for a long thirty seconds, awakening me from my delirium. It has been more than an hour since Daniel collected his clothes and walked out of this apartment, but he’s everywhere.As I pick myself up from the sofa, exactly where Daniel left me in a hypnotic state, I take a look around the room, and everything seems to shout out loud at me. Our coffee table, our wooden chairs, our bean-bag, even that old blow-up bed that lies unforgotten in the corner.They are all shouting at the top of their lungs, “You are a cheater. You betrayed him. He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves better than you."And while
PRESENT“Why are you so late, Lee? And, where were you?” Danny asks as soon as I get in his cabin and close the door shut. He whispers but it feels to me as though he is yelling. He gazes at me with such anger that I can’t even fathom where it’s coming from.I start to stutter as my voice thickens and I go from being a confident, egotistical girl to a girl who takes shit from her boss and becomes a blubbering mess.“I’m … I … I slept in. You were there.” I can’t control my tears and, at this moment, I hate myself, so I look in the opposite direction, “Cass- Cassiel came in late."“I saw,” Daniel says and a chill encompasses my whole being. Dread takes over my entire being and a mixed feeling of fear and nausea follows. “I was there.”I can’t. I can’t even. I’m sure he’s just saying that to get on my nerves. But, what if he had seen everything?He wouldn’t have. Would he? He can’t. Right? But I never heard his car drive away.You never made the blinds. You live on the ground floor. You
FOUR YEARS AGOI was crying as I ran inside our dorm room. Thank god, it was open and Carrie was there with someone. It was one of the guys on our floor with whom she flirted on a daily basis. I immediately stopped and put the loose strands of hair back, behind my ear, as I rubbed away the salty tears streaking unknown patterns on my face. The guy moved around and Carrie did too, and they both stopped laughing.“What-what happened?” Carrie’s voice came in waves, like the rustling of the leaves on a late autumn day.“Nuh-nothing,” I tried to keep myself from crying a new river all over again, “Just-just these guys on the campus. They-they tried to catcall me and stuff.” I thudded on the sofa in the living room, getting rid of the satchel I was carrying all day around with me on campus.“Oh… Lee,” Carrie’s warm hands were around my neck, and the guy who was there left us alone, perhaps thinking it was for the best that we talked it out in solitude. The door closed shut behind him.“I kn
FOUR YEARS AGOAs I walked along the hallway the following day, our eyes meet outside the first lecture hall. Cassiel looked like the perfect college guy with pretty blue eyes and a smile which looked a lot like the morning sun. He looked like someone whom I could fall for, and then he waved at me, which made his blue eyes seem even more bright and dreamy. We were both perfect strangers in the making.As our previous run-in started to take form in my faded memory, I felt rigid and I immediately stiffened when he came closer. Before he could catch up to me, I turned around and started to pace with long strides in a different direction than where my class was, dreading a very awkward situation.“Angelique, wait up!” His voice stopped me.“Yes?” I turned around, trying to appear nonchalant. My nerves were everywhere.“Do you want to come to our party this weekend? My roommate is throwing one of his famous ragers at our apartment.” His warm smile was inviting and glowing in the darkness o
PRESENT“Two matcha coffees, please,” I close my eyes momentarily, reminiscing yesterday’s flow of events.“Ten dollars,” the girl at the coffee counter rolls her eyes, which brings me back to the day I met Daniel. I hand her the money and can’t stop going back down the memory lane. My past flashes right in front of my eyes.It’s the same coffee house where we met a couple of months ago. At that time he looked genuinely interested in knowing me. He still does want to figure me out. But, the way he acted earlier is a giant slap of reality on my face. We can never be anything more than acquaintances and, at the most, friends.Only if I knew it back then.***THREE MONTHS AGOMy mind raced with thoughts as I hastily took long strides towards the old Paul’s cafè. Boy, I shouldn't have worn long heels in this dark, drizzly weather for an evening date. What was I thinking? Maybe I wasn’t. Of course.The sky was covered with dark red-orangish colored rays and the petrichor after the rainfall
THREE MONTHS AGO“But I haven’t seen you around before—"My sentence was cut in the middle, as his phone started to ring noisily. He looked at it for a long minute and concentrated on the caller ID displayed on the phone’s screen. He picked it up after several rings."Hey, Cassiel. What’s wrong?” The guy who was not a serial killer immediately stilled. “What are you saying? What the fuck happened?”The guy was up from the seat in a few seconds, and he was pacing back and forth. “What do you mean they erased my whole album? What-what? What glitch? It erased it from the database too … it what? The computers? How is that even possible?”He took a long breath and took the seat opposite from me again, looking awfully beat. “So you’re saying it’s some kind of a malware attack? Can we retrieve it in time? That was some of the best music I’ve made in a while."He finally blew the long breath he had been holding for a while, “I can’t thank you enough, Cassiel. You’re a savior. Please keep me p
FOUR YEARS AGO“How does this black one look on me?” I showed off my hips to Carrie, then moved again to face the mirror, smoothing the wrinkles out from the body-hugging silk dress. “I forgot how my hips looked."Carrie was going through our shared dorm closet, and from her side of the closet threw a blue halter neck dress at my face. “I know. Try this on, miss prude. You have such a great body, but you’re always hiding them behind boyfriend’s jeans and shirts. Get a grip girl.” She gave me an enthusiastic look, while thumping her fist upwards in the air. “Get a grip."I put the flimsy rayon material on my chest and sized myself up and down. “Do you think I’ll look good in that?” I fluttered my eyes when I looked towards her, and thinned my lips.“Well, someone is going to get that Cassiel guy. It better be you, Lee.” She smiled at me as she came closer. She took the dress out of my hands and put it over my head, “Go on, get ready. This dress is whacky, babe. It should-no, it will do