To Breathe

CHAPTER 4

TO BREATHE

AIDEN

I always thought this house was big enough to hide all of my insecurities but lately I’ve realized how stupid I was. Unless I remodel it into the statue of liberty I’ll have no such luck. I drop my book back on the library shelf, immediately commencing my panic push ups; movement always helps my thoughts flow well.

When Aunt Clara first mentioned the idea of organizing a ball I just thought she was just spitting bollocks. Who organizes a ball these days? What is this 1805? How would a ball even help me if she plans on inviting 500 people? Is it possible to create friends in such a rowdy situation? Instead of this charade we should be trying to find some loophole in father’s will and not giving in to his absurd conditions. I wish she would just admit this ‘ball’ is more for her sake than mine.

Although the event is four months away, just the thought of it is enough to make my insides twist into knots. After 100 pushups and 50 squats I stand to stretch out my sore muscles. From outside the window I can see two guards stationed there. Aunt Clara said they’re there to keep me from “doing anything stupid”. Well the moment its midnight I’m definitely doing something stupid, whatever that means.

Another thing that I absolutely dislike about this ‘ball’ is the amount of employees needed to prepare for it. It’s safe to say that over the next four months my quiet abode will transform into a circus, and I would give anything to not be a part of it.

After what feels like decades of waiting, the clock finally strikes midnight. The guards move on to inspect other parts of the property making it easy for me to slip out. I have no idea where I’ll go when I’m finally on the other side of the wall but anywhere is better than here. I try the wall in the Far East with its roughness. It will be the easiest to scale.

I loosen up my muscles before trying; it’s time for the pushups to pay off. After my first try I realized two things; one, scaling a wall is a thousand times harder than I thought. Number two; why did I think it was a good idea to try with jeans?? “You stupid cunt,” I mutter under my breath as I try again. I can’t go back now; I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge unless of course it involves people.

“Mph!” I groan as a sharp stone digs into my palm, soon I lose my grip. Closing my eyes, I brace myself for the pain of hitting the ground but it never comes. A strong arm wraps around my waist effortlessly pulling me upward. I find myself peering into the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. But it’s a man’s eyes, a man just saved me from possibly dying, so much for my pushups.

He chuckles, “that’s not how to scale a wall.”

I should say something I really should, even a small thank you will probably go a long way, but my tongue feels so heavy.

Slowly he lets me go, running his eyes down my body which makes me want to bury myself inside the ground and die, “are you hurt?”

Tongue, for the love of God move!

He cocks his head to the side, a mass of curly blonde strands following his movements, “that was close you know, you shouldn’t be climbing walls in jeans, maybe cotton shorts or something like that,”

I knew that already.

“and also, you need to swing your legs only when your hands are extended fully, see like this,” he jumps and in one fluid motion, he is already standing on the fence.” I gape at him, mouth wide open. Such noteworthy upper body strength, Maybe it’s time I installed a gym at home

He carefully climbs back down, “so what’s your name? I’m Elian I-I mean er Evan,” he coughs, scratching the back of his head, “I mean my real name is Evan I only tell Elian to very close friends so don’t tell anyone.”

My heart hammers in my chest, friends? Me?

He stares at me waiting for a response. I move my lips but no sounds come out. I’m so terrified of speaking to this chatty blonde man. His voice sounds nice, a deep baritone with a tinge of confidence. I sound like a frog being molested by crickets.

He frowns slightly. “y-you can’t speak?”

I nod, I have crippling social anxiety.

“You’re deaf!” he exclaims.

I frown, that’s a bit of a stretch but alright.

Suddenly he moves his hands in a series of motions. My eyes widen as I realize he is communicating using sign language. Oh? Does he have the odd hobby of learning different languages and communication techniques in order to improve his communication skills that haven't really improved at all since he was ten? Probably not. The best bet is he probably has a relative who is hearing impaired.

He signs, ‘hello I am Elian.’

‘I’m Aiden.’ I reply.

‘I was right, you are deaf!’

I can’t phantom why he is so excited about me being potentially disabled but alright, ‘something like that,’ I respond.

‘Why do you want to jump?’

I consider my answer carefully, ‘to breathe.’

He frowns, looking around the spacious garden, ‘it seems like there is enough air here?’

‘Not enough for me.’

Sounds of footsteps echo out, Elian quickly grabs my wrist pulling me behind a bush; he eyes the guard with annoyance as he walks by, ‘why do rich people have so many guards?’

‘Because rich people have things people might want to steal’

Something flickers in his eyes, ‘Yes but sometimes they take what isn’t theirs.’

Like people’s privacy and their will to live, ‘yes they do.’

After the guard is out of sight, Elian pulls me up. I may have given him the impression that my limbs don’t work either. ‘Alright, let's scale the wall,’ he signs with a bright smile.

I try to keep my expression neutral. His statements imply that he would do it with me, so he really considers me his friend then? Or is this some charity thing? ‘You will teach me?’

‘I was thinking I could just climb and help you up, faster that way.’

Oh, ‘well, thank you.’ Why is he helping me? I won’t ask him of course so he doesn’t change his mind or realize how dumb all of this is.

Again he effortlessly climbs the wall sitting on the edge; he stretches his hand out to me with a wide grin. I hesitate, what am I honestly doing right now? It's midnight and I’m leaving the comfort and security of my house to go with a man who isn’t even sure of his name!? Am I that desperate??

Yes I am. I grab onto his hand, hoisting myself up till I join him on the edge. After he makes sure I'm secure on the fence he jumps to the other side. The fluidity of his movements is truly admirable. But I'm sure those weren't the skills he showed to Janet to land him a job at the mansion.

'Jump,' he signs, 'I’ll catch you.’

Perhaps I see it wrongly? I accept that he is taller than me but I'm no petite princess either, catch me from this height? He must be raving mad.

'No' I sign back.

He laughs, 'are you scared?'

Yes I am, terrified actually. I don't reply to his taunting, opting to find a way to jump down myself after all if he can do it then why can't I?. I maneuver my body till I'm only hanging from my fingertips.

"Stubborn dude," he says out loud. I suppose he still thinks I cannot hear him.

I hope he isn't offended that I rejected his offer. I only want to live to see another day. When I feel confident I let go. But to my chagrin he catches me again, I turn to glare at him.

He grins unfazed by my deathly glare, 'we're not clear yet.'

Indeed we are still on my property only, not inside of it. Without warning he grabs my hand sprinting away from the mansion into the quiet streets of Silkview. After a few moments he lets go, chest heaving, sweat dripping down his forehead.

He laughs, 'that was fun.'

'It was.'

He looks around the lonely Streets, 'So what do you want to do now?'

Good question Elian. 'I don't know'

He looks at me like I suddenly sprouted a second head, 'you did all this without knowing where you're going?'

My cheeks warm up, if he puts it like that it sounds worse than it actually is, 'i just wanted to leave for a while'

He sighs, "This dude is really something."

He’s not wrong. On more than one occasion I have heard Aunt Clara say the same thing. Although the words vary, the intent behind it is the same. However Aunt Clara is my relative and has no choice but to put up with my shenanigans. I wonder what his reasons are for being here right now. If I were in his shoes I would not spare me a single thought.

`You said you wanted to breathe right?’

I nod, 'yes'

'How good are you at running?'

I frown with confusion, 'as good as the average man?'

'Good enough' suddenly he takes off sprinting down the road again. I stand there dazed for a moment before I realize he wants me to follow him. We run till my lungs are burning and my legs tremble from exhaustion. Is this what breathing feels like to him? It feels like a complete opposite to me but alright.

Finally Elian stops falling to the ground, a wide grin plastered on his face. I collapse beside him panting like a birthing horse. I almost died just now but at least he’s having fun.

'This is it,' he signs.