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22

Ryan didn't come back to my apartment that day. He didn't text, nor call either. Well, I half expected it, seeing as his mind was all truly made up. He was leaving for New York for good, without me.

I couldn't sleep, nor did I have an appetite to eat anything. I just sat, moping into the distance, a million thoughts racing through my head. Where I'd go from here, if what I'd done was right, if Ryan missed me, if I'd never see him again...so many things. My chest lurched painfully whenever I thought back to the last time he held me in his arms, and that seem to trigger the tears to keep coming. God, I was so stupid. Really, really stupid.

I'd reduced him to nothing. I'd overreacted and allowed Principal Churchill to truly emerge victorious. Now, as I recalled back our moments together, I realized I hadn't been a good lover, nor would I make a great boyfriend in the future either. I always wanted things to go my own way. I'd always disobeyed his instructions, despite the fact that he wa
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