Caleb rested a hand gently on my shoulder. He smiled down and looked at me.I braced myself for bad news.“I think you fell asleep,” he said.I sighed, so relieved. He wasn’t leaving after all.I looked around, saw my open journal on my lap and snapped it closed. I felt my cheeks flush, hoping he hadn’t read any of it. Especially the part about my feelings for him.I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was still night, and the fire was still going, although it was down to embers. He must have just woken, too. I wondered how long I had been asleep. “Sorry,” I said. “It’s the first I’ve slept in days.”He stood there, staring down at the fire, and his smile slowly faded as he seemed to become lost in his thoughts. As he looked into the flames, his face was lit with a warm glow, making him look even more attractive, if that were possible. His large, light brown eyes opened wide, and as I watched him, they changed color to a light green.I sat up straighter, and saw that my glass of red
My worry deepened as he furrowed his brow and didn’t say anything.“Why do I want to feed sometimes, but not others?” I pressed.He sighed. “I’m not sure. It is different with you. You are a half breed. And perhaps…part wolf. It is a very rare thing….I do know that you are coming-of-age. With others, they are turned overnight. For you, it is a process. It may take time for you to settle, to go through whatever changes you will. And there is the fact that it seems you are also part….wolf.”I thought back and remembered my hunger pangs, how they’d overwhelmed me out of nowhere. How they’d made me unable to think of anything but feeding. It was horrible. I dreaded it happening again.“But how do I know when it will happen again?”He looked at her. “You don’t.”“But I never want to kill a human,” I said. “Ever.”“You don’t have to. You can feed on animals.”“But what if it happens when I’m stuck somewhere?”“You will need to learn to control it. It takes practice. And willpower.
My heart fell to see that Caleb had already turned away. He was leaning gently back against the hay, eyes closed, asleep, a gentle smile on his face, lit by the firelight.I slid closer to him and leaned back, resting my head inches away from his shoulder. We were almost touching.And almost was enough for me.I slid back the door to the barn and squinted at a world covered in snow. White sunlight bounced off of everything. I brought my hands to my eyes, feeling a pain I had never quite experienced: my eyes were absolutely killing me.Caleb stepped out beside me, as he was finishing wrapping his arms and neck in a thin, clear material. It almost looked like Saran wrap, but it seemed to dissolve in his skin as he put it on. I couldn’t even tell it was there. “What’s that?”“Skin wrap,” he said, looking down as he wrapped it carefully again and again over his arms and shoulders. “It’s what allows us to go out in the sunlight. Otherwise, our skin would burn.” He looked her over. “Y
I turned and saw Luisa standing there, one of the girls I’d been friends with before I moved.“Oh my God!” Luisa added excitedly, throwing her arms wide for a hug. Before I could react, Luisa was embracing me. I hugged her back. It felt good to see a familiar face.“What happened to you?” Luisa asked, speaking in an excited rush, as she always did, her slight Hispanic accent coming through, as she had only moved here from Puerto Rico a few years before. “I’m so confused! I thought you moved!? I texted and IM-ed you, but you never responded –”“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I lost my phone, and I haven’t been near any computers, and–”Luisa wasn’t listening. She had just noticed Caleb, and she was staring, mesmerized. Her mouth literally dropped open.“Who’s your friend?” she finally asked, almost in a whisper. I smiled; I had never seen my friend so flustered before.“Luisa, this is Caleb,” I said.“A pleasure,” Caleb said, smiling down, extending his hand.Luisa just kept staring. S
“Hi Caitlin,” one of the girls said to me, in a fake-nice voice.Tiffany. Tall, with straight blonde hair, blue eyes, and stick thin. Decked out from head to toe in designer apparel. “Who’s your friend?”I didn’t know what to say. Tiffany, and her friends, had never given me the time of day. They had never even so much as looked my way. I was shocked that they even knew I existed, and knew my name. And now they were initiating conversation.Of course, I knew it had nothing to do with me. They wanted Caleb. Badly enough to have to humble themselves to talk to me.This didn’t bode well.I hoped, prayed, that Caleb would be immune to their powers. That he would still like me. But as I thought about it, I couldn’t understand why he would. I was so average. Why would he stick with me when girls like these would die to have him?Caleb must’ve sensed my unease, because he took a step closer to me and put one arm around my shoulder.I had never been more grateful for any gesture in my l
I took a deep breath as Caleb and I walked up to the barn and slid back the heavy, wooden door.The first thing that hit me was the smell. Pot. Clouds of it hung in the air.That, mixed with the smell of stale beer. Way too much of it.Then what struck me—more than everything else—was the smell of an animal. I had never had such keen senses before. The shock of this animal’s presence raced through my senses, as if I had just sniffed ammonia.I looked to my right and zoomed in. There, in the corner, was a large Rottweiler. He sat up slowly, stared at me, and snarled. He broke into a low, guttural growl. It was Butch. I remembered him now. The Colemans’ nasty Rottweiler. As if the Colemans needed a vicious animal to add to their picture of mayhem.The Colemans had always been bad news. Three brothers—17, 15, and 13—somewhere along the way, Sam had become friends with the middle brother, Gabe. Each was worse than the next.Their dad had left them a long time ago, no one knew where,
I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. Caleb. He was still there. He must’ve sensed my anger rising, the animal instinct between us. He was trying to calm me, to tell me to control myself, not to let myself go. His presence reassured me. But it wasn’t easy.Sam finally turned and looked at me. There was defiance in his look. He was still mad. That was obvious.“What do you want?” he snapped.“Why aren’t you in school?” was the first thing I heard myself say. I wasn’t exactly sure why I said that, especially with all the other things I wanted to ask him. But the motherly instinct in me kicked in. And that was what came out.More snickers. My anger rose.“What do you care?” he said. “You told me to go.”“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean it.”I was glad I had a chance to say it.But it didn’t seem to sway him. He just stared.“Sam, I need to talk to you. In private,” I said.I wanted to get him out of that environment, into the fresh air, alone, where we could really talk. I not
Caleb and I walked slowly along the bank of the river. This side of the Hudson was neglected, littered with abandoned factories and fuel depots no longer in use. It was desolate down here, but peaceful. We walked in silence, each in our own world. I felt embarrassed that I had shown such a display of rage in front of Caleb. Embarrassed that I’d been so violent, that I couldn’t control what was happening to me.I was also embarrassed by my brother, that he’d acted the way he did, that he was hanging out with such losers. I had never seen him act like that before. I was embarrassed I had subjected Caleb to it. Hardly a way for him to meet my family. He must think the worst of me. That, more than anything, really hurt me. Worst of all, I was afraid where we would go from here. Sam had been my best hope in finding my dad. I had no other ideas. If I did, I would have found him already, myself, years ago. I didn’t know what to tell Caleb. Would he leave now? Of course he would. I was